Porno, Scottish slang, and the 'c' word

[ZenLefty]

So, I'm reading this book by Irvine Welsh called Porno. No, there are no pictures. For those of you not familiar with Mr. Welsh, he's the author of Trainspotting, and Porno is a sort of sequel. "The characters from Trainspotting are back, and in worse shape than ever." The plot, simply put, is they decide they're going to make a porn movie.

Here's an excerpt:

Ah tell the soor-faced c*nt a few tales tae cheer um up a bit, aboot aw the shaggin n bevvyin thit's gaunna be done doon in Sunny Leith, cause the poor bastard's gaunnae ken aw aboot it whin ah'm away. Eh's no goat what it takes tae git by in prison; two fuckin suicide attempts that c*nt's hud in here, n that's jist since eh's been sharin a cell wi me, so fuck knows whit eh wis like before.

How the fuckity fuck can you write a whole novel in Scottish slang? It's bad enough trying to understand Eastenders on the telly - reading it is not much easier!

That, and he uses the 'c' word as if it were a comma. It's probably the most used word in the book, beating out 'the', 'a' and even 'ootside' by a country kilometer! Over here, the 'c' word is offensive enough to start fist fights if you say it to the wrong person. Welsh gives me the impression that over there, it's the equivalent of 'dude'.

After reading that shit for a while, I have a tendency to subconsciously pepper my speech with all sorts of fuckin expletives. I feel like Ozzy Fuckin Ozbourne! I just can't fuckin help it.

[meegbear]

1. Don't watch "Sid and Nancy"

chuck full of f*&% and c#@!

[ZenLefty]

6. Fuck on! Sounds like my kind of fuckin movie.

:D

[slappypan]

2. Trainspotting

Isn't that the book that won some prestigious literary prize in the UK and there was some sort of flap about whether it could actually be considered a book written in English? Have never read Mr. Welsh, but I understand he is a pal of one of my favorite writers, Iain Banks.

[ZenLefty]

5. Ah didnae ken it wur English, either

N ye cin tell those fuckin literary chaps t fuck off!

[Terran]

16. Shouldn't that be

"fook off"?

Are you kiddin'? The entire novel is written that way? I couldn't deal, no way. Unless I was prepared to spend a year or more on it.

[ZenLefty]

17. Well, I've been reading it since last Christmas

on and off, though. And no, he fuckin well spells fuck like it is: fuck. As if the grammar of vulgarity is fuckin well sacrosanct or something. :D

[Terran]

28. LOL,"The Year of F*ckin' & C*ntin' "!

Jeez, hope you finish it soon, I think!

Okay, the whole "fuck" thing strikes me as weird. It looks like everything else is spelled in accordance with the dialect, but not "fuck"--I mean surely they do say "fook" or something close. Maybe you're right, the word has too much power to be fucked with. :P

[Screaming Lord Byron]

7. A Banks fan? Good call!

I'm a former Lochgilphead resident (if you've read The Crow Road - right next door to (fictional) Gallanach)

[slappypan]

15. The Crow Road

I remember the opening sentence, one of the best ever: "It was the day my grandmother exploded."

[Screaming Lord Byron]

26. Good God. More than two Banks fans. Wonders not ceasing!

[Terran]

29. Me too

If you're talking about the same Iain Banks who writes the "Culture" sci-fi novels. That opening line definitely sounds like something he would write!

[Screaming Lord Byron]

30. Dirty Little Secret. Banks calls himself Iain Banks for the non-sci-fi

and Iain M Banks for the Culture stuff. Most Slack Pseudonym Ever!

[Terran]

32. Oh, thanks!

Y'know, I wasn't even aware he wrote non-sci-fi; I must check that out. I absolutely love his writing.

[Devlzown]

3. I read that book a while back.

I didn't really enjoy it much. They should've had a translation along with the text -- you know, like they have Chaucer's original Middle English on one page and have the modern translation on the facing page.

[ZenLefty]

8. I can only read it for a half hour or so

It takes an effort; real slow going. And then I find myself thinking in Scottish for a while after I put the book doon. Really.

[BigMcLargehuge]

4. when I lived in west sussex is WAS the equivalent of dude

culture shock? oh yeah..

[ZenLefty]

10. Is it used when speaking about women?

Welsh uses it to describe other men, hardly ever calls a woman the 'c' word.

[RogueTrooper]

22. It is an epithet most commonly used

amongst men, towards other men. Say that in front of a Scottish women? Are you kidding! }(

[BigMcLargehuge]

23. usually applied to men

I don't think I ever heard it applied to women

[Screaming Lord Byron]

9. Yeah, the C word is considerable less explosive over there.

Particularly in the Central Belt of Scotland.

[Loonman]

11. Try watching Scottish footy

Nobody seems to want to score, and on the few instances when you can hear the announcers, you can barely understand them with those thick Northern English accents.


BTW, Eastenders is Cockney, that's the accent.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

12. The Scottish tradition relies more on crippling the opponents

than bothering too much about the goals. Airdrie, Dundee United, Dunfermline and Falkirk are the worst culprits. Dundee play up a good game, though. I am deeply biased.

[Loonman]

13. Celtic supporter

Painful to watch, though

[Screaming Lord Byron]

27. Still, there is some flair there. Henrik Larson is extraordinary.

HL is the best thing to happen to Scottish Football in donkeys years.

[Loonman]

31. Very true

n/t

[ZenLefty]

14. Anything like this?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sportacademy/hi/fun/games/newsid_2190000/2190755.stm

[Braden]

19. couldn't make a one

how does that thing work?

I hold the mouse, center the bar and it still hits a low line drive that goes half way?

[Loonman]

20. Rugger

Different sport, but that game is hard.

[ZenLefty]

21. It's all in the timing

You have to release the mouse button when it's closest to the yellow line for a straight kick. Otherwise it's too hard or too soft.

[Braden]

24. you have to be a mouse maestro

[RogueTrooper]

18. Awright Zenboy

It's no Scottish slang, likeways, it's ra barrie rumblings o'Embra's schemie gadges. ;)

Most of Irvine's novels are based in Edinburgh and the coloquialisms used in his books are those of the poorest parts of Edinburgh. Having lived in Edinburgh for 10 years ( I know live in London ), and lived in many of the areas of Edinburgh writes about I can say that the way he writes is authentic.

My personal opinions is that Porno is more a sequel to Trainspotting the film than it is to Trainspotting the novel. It is also a sequel to the book "Glue"

Aye, ma gadgie, c*nt, in some parts of Scotland, can be used as a comma or as a replacement of "dude".

[ZenLefty]

25. That's what I like about it

It reads very authentic. Having grown up on the 'wrong side of the railroad tracks' myself, it reads quite real. The characters aren't much different than the poorest parts of Schenectady NY.

I'm kind of glad I didn't read Trainspotting, then. This book is enough of a challenge. If I finish it, I'll move on to other Welsh books.