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(Onion-style satire) "Bush & Cheney Indicted..." (by Tom Flocco)

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StefanX Donating Member (801 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 10:03 PM
Original message
(Onion-style satire) "Bush & Cheney Indicted..." (by Tom Flocco)
Edited on Tue Aug-02-05 10:04 PM by StefanX
This was removed from General Discussion - but if you enjoy inspirational satire in the style of "The Onion" then it's worth reading...

BUSH AND CHENEY INDICTED

A Chicago grand jury has indicted the President and Vice-President of the United States along with multiple high officials in the Bush administration

Chicago -- August 2, 2005 -- TomFlocco.com -- U.S. federal prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald's Chicago grand jury has issued perjury and obstruction of justice indictments to the following members of the Bush Administration: President George W. Bush, Vice-President Richard Cheney, Bush Chief of Staff Andrew Card, Cheney Chief of Staff I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez, former Attorney General John Ashcroft, imprisoned New York Times reporter Judith Miller and former Senior Cheney advisor Mary Matalin.

There were no indications given as to whether the President and his top staff members would appear publicly before cameras at the grand jury proceedings, given the gravity of the charges.

Besides the Valerie Plame CIA leak case, the Fitzgerald probe is reportedly far-reaching and expanding much deeper into past White House criminal acts involving Bush-Clinton drug money laundering in Mena, Arkansas to White House involvement in 9/11; but also for sending America's young people to their deaths or to be maimed in Iraq and Afghanistan under false pretenses.

British Prime Minister Tony Blair was indicted for obstruction of justice and is reportedly consulting with members of Parliament and legal aides regarding how to avoid appearing in the U.S.A. for interrogation before Fitzgerald in Chicago.

The revelations emanated from sources close to the grand jury who spoke with federal whistleblower Thomas Heneghen in California who said White House Senior Advisor to the President Karl Rove was also indicted for perjury and was reportedly involved with Mary Matalin in a major Bush administration document shredding operation to cover-up evidence.

Heneghen had reported over ten days ago on a TruthRadio.com broadcast ... that his sources close to the grand jury said former Secretary of State Colin Powell had been subpoenaed and had testified against President Bush, telling the citizen panel that the President had taken the United States to war based upon lies--a capital crime involving treason under the United States Code.

Heneghen also reported a week ago that Gonzalez and Card had been subpoened and that Tony Blair had defied his subpoena after the response time limit had expired.

Sources close to the investigation report that members of the House, Senate, 9/11 Commission and other members of the media are also under investigation as potential targets by a grand jury regarding obstruction of justice and other oversight failures linked to the 9/11 attacks -- indicating that citizen panelists working with Fitzgerald may be seeking a wholesale cleansing of what many have said is a crime-wracked White House and Congress.

Also last Monday, the whistleblower reported that Senate Intelligence Committee Chairman Pat Roberts was planning to obstruct justice by calling Fitzgerald for Senate hearings to question the prosecutor's motives for the far-reaching investigation.

This, giving rise to questions as to whether Roberts and other Republican legislators -- some now under secret investigation -- would join President Bush in seeking to fire Fitzgerald in the same manner that President Nixon had fired Watergate Special Prosecutor Archibald Cox in order to obstruct justice and cut off further investigations into White House crimes.

Two weeks ago Heneghen said he had talked to sources just ten minutes prior to French and U.S. intelligence agents intercepting British intelligence agents who were attempting to bomb the subway underneath the Dirksen Federal Building where Fitzgerald was presiding over grand jury hearings.

Serious questions can also be raised as to whether intelligence forces linked to President Bush and Tony Blair had participated in a failed attempt to scuttle the Fitzgerald probe by literally blowing it up--at a time when UK reports reveal that military-grade explosives were used to blow up the London subway on July 7.

Sources say the alleged Chicago subway bombing attempt has been attributed to an underground and closeted enmity involving warring intelligence and military factions within the United States government.

Moreover, reports indicate that the disturbance occurred at the same time that the Chicago Tribune and local web blogs had reported that the subway had been evacuated for 45-50 minutes regarding a "suspicious package" late on Monday afternoon, July 18.

Also confirming the under-the-radar-screen hostilities involving agents loyal to the administration and others who are disturbed about the cover-up of government involvement in the 9.11 attacks was a recent contact made with this writer by a major New York media outlet which called seeking "names of those who could confirm its own reports of warring factions within the government which were threatening the safety of U.S. citizens."

Developing... Please link or copy -- and distribute widely.

_________________

TomFlocco

-- TomFlocco.com

via Billmon, 2 August 2005

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Garbo 2004 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 10:09 PM
Response to Original message
1. Grand jury investigating Plame leak is in Wash DC, not Chicago.
(Just BTW.)
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LoZoccolo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 10:10 PM
Response to Original message
2. Someone in a local chat room posted that!
I'd expect to see it here, but this guy came into a chat room for the Chicago area that I hang out on sometimes. Here's the transcript with the names changed and this other guy's comments stripped out:

other guy: http://cloakanddagger.de/
other guy: You heard it here.
other guy: (The news item in question is on the main page, Bush indicted by Chicago Grand Jury).
other guy: Corroborating source: Boston Indymedia

LoZoccolo: Yeah that's been like a big rumor on the internets today, but it's not true.
LoZoccolo: Anyone can post anything on Indymedia. They can take the article from cloakanddagger.de and copy-and-paste it to Indymedia.

other guy: Wait till your Trib knocks over your milk bottles, then.


Neat regional thing: you actually can still get milk delivered in bottles here.
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EstimatedProphet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-02-05 10:32 PM
Response to Original message
3. Locking
This is actually a conspiracy site, not satire.
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