Funnies to cheer everyone up

[motely36]

YOU'VE PROBABLY READ SOME OF THESE BEFORE....

So you think you're computer-illiterate?

> Compaq is considering changing the command "Press
> Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood
> of calls asking where the "Any" key is.
> AST technical support had a caller complaining that
> her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover
> on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the
> mouse was packaged in.

> Another Compaq technician received a call from a man
> complaining that the system wouldn't read word
> processing files from his old diskettes. After
> trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to
> diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer
> labeled the diskettes then rolled them into the
> typewriter to type the labels.

> Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her
> defective diskettes. A few days later a letter
> arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies
> of the floppies.

> A Dell technician advised his customer to put his
> troubled floppy back in the drive and close the
> door. The customer asked the tech to hold on, and
> was heard putting the phone down, getting up and
> crossing the room to close the door to his room.
> Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get
> his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of
> trouble-shooting, the technician discovered the man
> was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in
> front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send"
> key.

> Another Dell customer needed help setting up a new
> program, so a Dell tech suggested he go to the local
> Egghead. "Yeah, I got me a couple of friends,"the
> customer replied. When told Egghead was a software
> store, the man said, "Oh, I thought you meant for me
> to find a couple of geeks."

> Yet another Dell customer called to complain that
> his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by
> filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking
> the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys
> and washing them individually.

> A Dell technician received a call from a customer
> who was enraged because his computer had told him he
> was "bad and an invalid". The tech explained that
> the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses
> shouldn't be taken personally.

> An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support
> couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After
> ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician
> asked her what happened when she pushed the power
> button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this
> foot pedal and nothing happens." The "foot pedal"
> turned out to be the computer's mouse.

[quisp]

1. What are the odds that ALL THOSE PEOPLE now work

at my office???

[texas1928]

2. Funniest one I ever had.

Customer called in and when I answered the phone, he started yelling at me cause he had been on hold for 10 minutes. He had his finger stuck in the CDRom. And he had to sit like that for 10 minutes. I had to choke back the laughter that was trying to bust out of me. Of course he called his ISP to get his finger out of the CDRom. Since it was our cd he was taking out of the machine, when he decided to stop the tray from going back in so he could put in a music cd. He said "can you hurry up and get my finger out, it is starting to hurt."

[demnan]

3. I'm convinced that the home pc is not for everyone.

n/t. I had to show my mother and brothers how to turn the computer I gave them on so many times it was pathetic. I got rid of their computer last year and I've had peace ever since.

[kedrys]

4. A friend of mine wrote an entire manifesto about computer literacy

The gist of it was that you have to get a licence in order to drive a car, why should a computer be any different? It was pretty hilarious, and made good points along the way. He's a computer instructor at a learning annex-type company, so he's see his share of wiggy weirdness. :D