I am now ready to dispense my wisdom. Ask JVS what you should do.

[JVS]

Results not guaranteed. Void where prohibited.

[XNASA]

1. Should I go to a bachelor party in Kansas City this weekend?

[JVS]

3. Hell yes you should go. Don't make the mistake I made.

If you see a German guy in an orange 1970 Beetle, say hello.

[Richardo]

2. Do I need the express written consent of Major League Baseball?

[JVS]

4. Only if you plan on rebroadcasting or describing the game or portions...

of the game. I'd play it safe if I were you though.

[motely36]

5. Is panda stalking a federal offence?

and does constantly watching pandacam constitute stalking?

[JVS]

6. No and no. However, one must ask himself if watching the panda-cam...

is an intelligent use of a high speed internet connection in a world where he could be watching the hot phony-lesbian Russian exchange student pillow-fight cam.

[motely36]

9. Thanks I'll pass on the lesbian thing

:hi:

[JVS]

11. Please, phony-lesbian. A world of difference.

[Redneck Socialist]

7. Where should I go fishing tomorrow?

[JVS]

8. Well, where are you now?

Normally I'd suggest Alexandria in Minnesota, but that might not be possible.

Also, do you prefer stream fishing, high seas fishing or lake fishing?

[Redneck Socialist]

13. Well, Minnesota's a bit of a hike.

I'm in New Hampshire. I fish lakes mainly.

[JVS]

14. You should drive to Quebec and fish there.

Don't forget to go to Montreal for some Poutine and a $10 lapdance.

[Redneck Socialist]

15. Ahhh, you are wise...

I'll pass on the poutine though. Horrible stuff.

[JVS]

19. It's soooo goood!

[ProfessorGAC]

10. What Club Should I Use. . .

. . .on a buried lie in the sand when still 60 yards from the hole?

Really! I know what i'd do, but you're offering wisdom i don't have!
The Professor

[JVS]

12. A 7 iron ought to still be able to get you out of the sand and get some...

distance. Of course the wiser move may be to cheat and move your ball out from the sand. Who the hell is putting sand traps so far from the hole anyway?

[ProfessorGAC]

16. No Trees. Lots of Sand

I would have taken the 8 iron. Should still be able to get a 7 over the lip, i s'pose.

Got bunches o' bunkers on my course. The trees line the course, but don't come into play except on 5 holes. So, the course is made "narrower" with bunkers that can be hit from the tee and on 2nd shots of par 5's. One par 5 has trees left, bunker at 230 to 255 right, water left past that, another bunker 90 -110 yards right, another 40 - 60 yards left, and two greenside. If you can't play in the sandbox, you don't want to play here!

And, most of them are HUGE bunkers. I actually like the design of the place i play. Remember i'm in Northeastern Illinois. Can't do much with regard to elevation change. We're flat as a pancake, 'round here.
The Professor

[JVS]

17. So what club would you use?

[ProfessorGAC]

18. Sorry. Thought I Said 8 Iron.

In a long bunker shot that has to stop, if the ball is buried, i figure the shot will go less than half the normal distance. Since i hit an 8 about 135, i figure this would be about 60 from a buried lie.

Now, if it's not buried, i'd use a gap wedge, open it up, and take a 2/3rd swing. But, my example was buried ball. So, i guess i can't do that!

I do a lot of calculating in my head on the golf course. Just how my mind works. I can't play strictly by feel, except putting. I just wouldn't have any confidence the shot would be the right one! I gotta convince myself, first.

The Professor

[youthere]

20. What does this smell like to you?