Police: Man's Testicles Locked In Padlock

[LaurenG]

Man Could Not Remove Lock For Two Weeks

BRENTWOOD, N.H. -- Emergency workers helped a New Hampshire man out of a difficult situation over the weekend after a friend apparently locked a padlock around his testicles.

http://www.channelcincinnati.com/news/4815844/detail.html

I am at a loss for words.

[NaturalHigh]

1. I will have trouble sleeping after seeing this.

[hobbit709]

2. "after a friend apparently locked a padlock around his testicles."

I'm not sure I want any "friends" like this.

[WCGreen]

14. Just your general tom foolery

[Silverhair]

3. It took him TWO WEEKS to go go for help????

I think there was some serious S & M going on.

[blondeatlast]

53. I'm a lady-person, but I see some serious potential for urinary trouble

ther.

Ick.

[CottonBear]

4. 'Man could not remove lock for two weeks'

:wow: :eyes: :wow: :eyes:

"The man told police that he tried to remove the lock with a hacksaw because the key had broken off in the lock."
:(

[barb162]

42. one weird "friend"

[Triana]

¿

¿ :wtf: ¿

Ok, I've heard horror stories about vacuum cleaner hoses but this...

[Obamarama]

5. Can you imagine the mileage the locksmith will get out of this one?

"Yeah, if you think THAT'S carzy, have I ever told you about the time I had to get a padlock off some guy's nuts?"

[Raiden]

6. OMG! That is so not funny

I cringed when I read that

[xchrom]

7. wow!

2 weeks!?!?

[Tallison]

8. Shoulda kept it there

Not sure this one's fit for reproduction. :eyes:

[SalmonChantedEvening]

9. Things that make you go

OWWWWW SHIT UNLOCK THIS WILL YA MY EYES HAVE EXPLODED AND MY INNER EARS ARE TOUCHING EACH OTHER!!!!!!!

[hootinholler]

10. There's an old expression of

Nuts in a vise...

Geeze, the guy couldn't go buy (or borrow) a set of bolt-cutters?

-Hoot

[dogday]

12. Would you really want to use bolt cutters

around your nads? One wrong move and you will never have to worry about being in this situaion ever again... HAHAHAHAHA

[hootinholler]

20. Um, as long as I could get them on the loop of the lock,

yes I would go for it, but, then again I've never had a padlock snapped shut around my scrotum.

Bolt cutters are far more gentle than a hacksaw.

-Hoot

[lisby]

11. Errr....uhhh....

:o

:wow:

:scared:

:yoiks:

[Swamp Rat]

13. LOL!

OW!

[sakabatou]

15. Ow...

[graywarrior]

16. Oh the things a paramedic in NH could tell you

One of my best friends is a paramedic in northern NH. I hear some wierd stuff.

[Hotler]

18. Love the duck! eom.

[barb162]

44. my cousin worked in an ER for years

and she had way stranger stuff than this, especially on Friday and Saturday nights when people came in there tanked up.

[HysteryDiagnosis]

47. I keep my padlocks out in the shed... no one bothers them

there either.

[icymist]

50. Padlocks didn't cause this!

Drunks with padlocks caused this!

[HysteryDiagnosis]

52. I can see it now..... breathalyzer units in hardware stores.. oh

bother.....

[Allenberg]

17. You know...

[Akoto]

19. Yikes. Well ...

I guess that's one alternative form of contraception. :p

LOL. I have to wonder what the poor locksmith heard when he got the call, too.

"Hi. Uh, I lost the damn keys to my testicles again. How much to unlock them?"

[LuCifer]

21. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!

GODS! I've been BORED, I mean BORED AS FUCK! But goddamn if I NEVER ONCE said "Ya know what! I think instead of pounding back a few brewskies here, or doing some target practice with my highpower BB gun, or crank one off, or making a campfire, or whatever, NO! I GOT IT! I'M GOING TO PUT MY BALLS IN A PADLOCK!!!!! OHHHHH YEAAAAAAAAAH!"

Even after 2 hits of STRONG acid, I never thought "Ya know something! I'm gonna put my nuts in this thing! OOOH BAAAAAAAABY!!!"

Yeah, I have hope for the future of the human race...

Lu

[HysteryDiagnosis]

56. At least they didn't try to break it off with a sledge hammer and

a large rock lying out in a field somewhere.... good thinking on their part.

[fortyfeetunder]

22. Wonder if there was a love conflict between friends?

This looks like a makeshift chastity belt....

[TexasLady]

48. here is probably what was used..

hey, im just sayin..

[skygazer]

23. Interesting definition of "friend"

Friends don't let friends walk around for two weeks with a padlock on their balls. Hmmm.... sounds like a new bumper sticker idea. :think:

[short bus president]

24. should've used a TSA-approved lock...

Tard's Scrotal Adventure...

[skygazer]

25. Makes the term "lock-nut" take on a whole new meaning n/t

[barb162]

45. that's pretty funny, didn't think of that

[blondeatlast]

54. Stop it, you two...

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Lydia Leftcoast]

26. Two questions:

Why?

and

How come Matcom didn't see this article first?

[newsguyatl]

27. must have pretty small balls

if a lock would fit around them :wtf:

[Democracy White]

28. Owww!

Geez, I'm into S&M but I would think that one would have gotten off BEFORE two weeks!!

Have we ever evolved from the apes?

Dee

[ulysses]

29. best damn laugh I've had in weeks.

:D

[nickgutierrez]

30. What the... How do you...

Fuck it. Too many questions to which the answer is undoubtedly going to be "the people involved are idiots".

[blondeatlast]

55. And I don't think we really want to the answer. I surely don't. nt

[Generic Other]

31. Is this a sex thread?

Just wondering.

[khashka]

36. I could turn it in to one

That story has got me thinking about what to do on my date tonight :)

Khash.

[uppityperson]

32. oh my

:rofl:

[Bat Boy]

33. Two weeks?

I....he....with the....around his.....

TWO FRIGGIN' WEEKS?

[Bombero1956]

34. hey

when I was an EMT I had a patient that had a chunk of jagged cement up his ass. For some unknown reason it was blocking the exit of his bowel movements and because he didn't stop eating he was "backed up" and in extreme discomfort. I still don't know how the ER staff kept from laughing.

[Bat Boy]

35. My wife's brother is a surgeon...

During his residency he worked in the ER.

Let me tell ya, sometimes they don't keep from laughing.

[no name no slogan]

43. i gotta wonder what he did for pants

or did he just wear a kilt around for two weeks?

:shrug:

[Spock_is_Skeptical]

37. LOL... Oh that is too funny... *wipes tear* ahhhhhahahaaha

TWO WEEKS...!
:rofl:

[Placebo]

38. Ouchie

[all.of.me]

39. i worked in brentwood about 20 years ago.

not a bright bunch! ;)

[kedrys]

40. ??????

I...oh. :wow: Um, like...oh. Eek. :freak:

[lovelaureng]

41. Having trouble looking at...

Padlocks!!! :scared:
I won't be able to look at them the same way ever again.

[Kat45]

46. Maybe he was drunk the whole time. Kept drinking and passing out.

C'mon, it's pretty hard to believe he went about his business for two weeks with a padlock around his nuts. Or, maybe he was so shitfaced--or in such pain--that he just thought it was two weeks, and it was really just until he actually woke up and completely sobered up.

Or maybe, like someone said, it was a makeshift chastity belt. :shrug:

[annabanana]

49. well you have to admit.. It's good for the gene pool....n/t

[AuntieM1957]

51. Birth Control for Freepers

Put a lock on that!