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I hate the fucking smell of misogyny in the morning

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Zomby Woof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 12:42 PM
Original message
I hate the fucking smell of misogyny in the morning
It's the smell of insecurity.

:wtf: Is it getting worse, or is it just me?
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rene moon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 12:43 PM
Response to Original message
1. No, it's getting worse
and unfortunately, most people don't or wont see it or acknowledge it.
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XemaSab Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 12:44 PM
Response to Original message
2. Is there a specific event you have in mind
or is this a general observation?
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Zomby Woof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 12:46 PM
Response to Reply #2
5. General specific events
Specifically in general.
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XemaSab Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 12:54 PM
Response to Reply #5
11. thanks for clarifying
n/t
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progmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 12:45 PM
Response to Original message
3. hey , thanks ZW
yeah. x(
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VelmaD Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 12:46 PM
Response to Original message
4. There's some good news and some bad news...
Edited on Sun Aug-07-05 12:47 PM by VelmaD
Yes, I see it getting worse around here some days. Some people just don't seem to be able to deal with the fact that the mods and admins are really enforcing the rules and deleting sexist posts.

But...I also see a lot more people standing up and telling people on DU to knock it off. Like you. :hug:
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Kipling Donating Member (929 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 12:50 PM
Response to Reply #4
7. What constitutes a sexist post?
Exactly how far do you have to go? Mock a feminist? Say that women are better cooks? Advocate the death penalty for any female over 12 found wearing shoes or not pregnant?
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VelmaD Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 12:52 PM
Response to Reply #7
10. Go read the rules...
it's really quite simple. People seem to manage just fine not making racist posts the vast majority of the time. The women on DU deserve the same level of regard.

Personally I find your question a bit disingenuous. I think most people know perfectly well when they're being sexists...and some posters on DU just don't care.

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Kipling Donating Member (929 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 01:15 PM
Response to Reply #10
20. I was just meaning...
That I've not seen much, in my short time here, that I would consider offensive. Certainly not a "stink of misogyny". And racism is very hard to define too (consider immigration policy and the fine line there).
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Pithlet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 01:18 PM
Response to Reply #20
22. Stick around
There's plenty of it.
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VelmaD Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 01:18 PM
Response to Reply #20
23. Well then, you've been lucky...
Edited on Sun Aug-07-05 01:20 PM by VelmaD
because we've gone through several really nasty flamewars in the last year over sexist language. Maybe the reason you haven't seen as much of it is because it's finally being taken seriously by the mods and the most egregious offenders are being deleted and/or locked.
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Kipling Donating Member (929 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 01:21 PM
Response to Reply #23
25. I'm surprised.
Most people here seem supportive of feminist ideals. Dissapointing to think even progressives would be split on the issue.
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VelmaD Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 01:27 PM
Response to Reply #25
28. There are some things you have to take into account...
first not everyone posting here is a progresive. Second, some men, even within the Democratic party, have a hard time letting go of millenia of unearned advantage. They're so steeped in a culture of subtle sexism that they don't (or won't) see it.

There's a long long history in lberal/progressive politics of using women's labor but relegating our issues to the back burner. We're always one of the groups tossed aside for convenience. It's ugly but it's the truth. Go read the history of the suffrage movement. Or how women were treated in the student/anti-war movement in the 60s.
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WCGreen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 06:19 PM
Response to Reply #28
62. People of power have been using people
to get what they want regardless of sex.....

There have been many of us Dudes tossed away after we did all the hard work behind the scenes.....

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Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-08-05 09:53 AM
Response to Reply #20
125. Deleted message
Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
 
Bunny Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-08-05 10:11 AM
Response to Reply #125
127. And, as always, here's a man telling us women what we're allowed to be
offended by. :eyes:
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youspeakmylanguage Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-08-05 10:16 AM
Response to Reply #127
129. Ad Hominem attacks...
Edited on Mon Aug-08-05 10:19 AM by youspeakmylanguage
...aren't valid or appreciated.

You may want to re-read my post. You'll see that I made no comment concerning you or what offends you. I was referring to what is generally accepted here at DU and what a poster can expect to read if he or she makes a comment that is considered to be "unacceptable" by a select group of feminists.
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peacebuzzard Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 12:49 PM
Response to Original message
6. I feel it too.

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hlthe2b Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 12:51 PM
Response to Original message
8. Wow, ZW, you always have a way of putting your finger (paw)
Edited on Sun Aug-07-05 12:52 PM by hlthe2b
right on the issue. While so much has been written and discussed about the attack on gays and lesbians, and minorities by the "right," a much more insidious attack, with tremendous implications is well underway against women, and the issue is truly insecurity among these RW white males. Sadly, the attitudes are starting to "slop over" here...:mad:
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Gyre Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 12:51 PM
Response to Original message
9. Doesn't help that young woman in our culture
generally seem to welcome being viewed as sex objects. Corporate whores who don't even realize they're being driven to the back of the cave.

Gyre
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Sugar Smack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 12:56 PM
Response to Reply #9
12. That would be the media representation of young
Edited on Sun Aug-07-05 12:56 PM by Sugar Smack
women in our culture and not actually, necessarily and truly the actual young women themselves.
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XemaSab Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 04:14 PM
Response to Reply #12
44. Having recently gradumacated from college
there are WAY too many young women out there in tank tops, low riders, and thongs. It's not a recent phenominon, young women have been dressing like hoochies for a long time, but you got to wonder what they're thinking dressing like that.

It's all because they think they'll look hot and some guy will take notice, and it's volunteering yourself for objectification.
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thedailyshow Donating Member (695 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 05:01 PM
Response to Reply #44
47. I'm not sure if you've noticed this.....
It's summertime. Of course women will wear tank tops, low riders, and thongs. Does it make a woman a slut to wear that? I don't think so. And you know......there's the distinct possibility that a woman wears a tank top because it's hot outside. Ever think of that?
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XemaSab Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 05:08 PM
Response to Reply #47
49. This is in Humboldt County
where it's 65 degrees all summer. Not hot.
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Lydia Leftcoast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 10:38 PM
Response to Reply #47
111. You're being disingenuous here
There are tank tops and there are tank tops.

There are comfortable summer shorts and pants, and there are shorts and pants that show off one's butt crack and...other stuff.

As one who is living through a 90-ish summer right now, I know that you don't need to wear a string bikini to be comfortable.
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bettyellen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 05:35 PM
Response to Reply #44
56. i don't buy that . a person doesn't need to know your favored dress code
to receive or deserve respect. that's the slippery slope of blaming women that put them in chadors.
tank tops are bad now? :rofl: i'm glad i don't live where people think like that.
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XemaSab Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 05:39 PM
Response to Reply #56
59. Not in and of themselves
but with low riders and butt floss when it's not even 70 out, along with a snotload of makeup and bleached hair, it's saying that the young lady in question is trying to look like the media thinks young women should look, eg Britney.
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bettyellen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 06:01 PM
Response to Reply #59
60. the young lady in question is trying to look like her peers.
and that goes back as far as society does. just because britney is a dumb shit doesn't mean they are.
i don't agree with giving people an excuse to look down on people for any superficial reason and teenagers are always going to try to look like each other yet be younique and push the limits with grownups, nothing new or interesting about that. that's part of growing up.
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XemaSab Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 06:14 PM
Response to Reply #60
61. Not really...
most women at Humboldt State dress like I do... Jeans, t-shirt, polar fleece, whatever. The girls who dress like hoochies are the ones who stick out.
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mike_c Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 06:24 PM
Response to Reply #61
63. while I do NOT want to risk getting into THIS debate...
...I'll vouch for what Xema's saying about the HSU norm-- it's anything by Britney-esque. Now I'm outa here-- I'm much less likely to become collateral damage over in GD/P than in THIS thread!
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bettyellen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 06:24 PM
Response to Reply #61
64. not for nothing, but do you think labeling them "hootchies" is
right, or in the least bit enlightened? what is it you said explictitly that you're uptight about? shoulders in mild weather? for that they desreve to be labeled and thus objectified by other women?
tank tops desreve derision and disrespect since when? why? because they ain't dressed like you? that is sooo small minded, and clannish. i'd be one of those "hootchies" i guess, getting the hell out of humbolt to someplace where i'm not judged just because i don't look like everybody else.
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Finder Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 06:32 PM
Response to Reply #64
65. for sure...
sounds like they dress like most other women their age. Reminds me of the attitude to mini-skirts back in the 60s and 70s.
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bettyellen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 06:51 PM
Response to Reply #65
69. or women who are bitter that they don't get as much
attention in polar fleece.
people are people, so what if some people like to dress in ways you don't? they should be treated less human? they're asking for it? that's what i'm hearing, and that ain't progressive, that's sour grapes.
it takes all kinds of people to make life interesting if you ask me. i'd be scared as a hell of any college campus where everybody dressed the same. bleeech.
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XemaSab Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 06:59 PM
Response to Reply #69
72. It frustrates me,
as a feminist, to see young women dressing in ways that sets the cause of women's rights back 50 years. I want people to like and respect me for who I am, not because I have great tits and show them off to everyone.

I've gotten into it with guys I've dated before, "Why don't you dress like HER?" and that's the end of the relationship right there. I'm not a fucking object. Sorry bud. Go find someone else.

I dress the way I dress in part because when I dress differently and wear nicer clothes, men seem to get the idea that it's ok to grab me or ogle me or make rude comments, and I have to think that girls who wear skimpy outfits WANT that. But I don't.

And this makes me sexist?

Not wanting to be treated like a piece of meat makes me sexist?
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bettyellen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 07:17 PM
Response to Reply #72
78. judging women for wearing tanktops, calling them demaeaning names?
Edited on Sun Aug-07-05 07:20 PM by bettyellen
and saying they invite physical abuse? c'mon now, that's messed up.
i don't do anything to accomadate people who behave badly as you've described, grabbing oggling, i call em on it every single time, i demand respect. and they learn not all women who show skin are doing it for them soon enough. i'm not covering myself up for a few assholes when it's 80 degrees out. they have to learn to deal.
but like it or not, attraction is based partially on visuals, and yes, more so for men than it is for women. any honest guy will tell you that. nary a straight man can resist cleavage, and yeah it can be fustrating. but many of them can still treat you like a human being, and that's all that matters.
when you're naked sweetie, they're looking too, and if it doesn't bother me then, it ain't going to bother me at any other time. the other thing is, if a guy can't control himself when he sees a little skin and just discreetly appreciate it, hads to ogle and say shit like hootchie, do you really want him? i doubt either of us do. they are the ones doing the objectifying, and don't you forget it.
the answer is not to join men in putting down and devaluing our sisters by being looksist. that is just wrong.
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Chovexani Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 08:28 PM
Response to Reply #72
85. And as a feminist it upsets me...
...to see feminists harboring judgmental attitudes towards other women's choice of dress. As if society doesn't do that enough already.

Feminists should be above this shit, but when push comes to shove it seems like we're always knee-deep in it. I don't wear thongs, but I do wear corsets and I've gotten into quite a few arguments from "feminist"* prudes questioning my loyalty to the movement because of it. I'll tell them what I'm telling you: I don't wear corsets because I am desperate for male attention or want my waist to be tinier (I'm not one of those crazy corset trainers), I wear corsets because they make me look hot and I like to look hot. Is that a fucking crime?

Jesus on a trailer hitch, don't we have real issues to be discussing?

--C.

*I put feminist in quotes in this instance, because IMHO feminism is about giving women the freedom to make their own choices, and anyone, anyone who tries to take that right away and yet has the gall to call him/herself a feminist doesn't deserve that honor.
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CTLawGuy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 09:05 PM
Response to Reply #85
87. I like your idea of feminism very much
it is about freedom from constraints on how one is "supposed" to act.
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XemaSab Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 09:35 PM
Response to Reply #85
93. the other day
I got into it with someone in a GD thread, where this one soul was claiming that the media makes women wear uncomfortable shoes. I took the POV that women themselves choose to wear uncomfortable shoes. The OP totally disagreed, and it went back and forth until the thread was locked for other comments being made.

I think if you wear pointy shoes, that's your decision. It's not the problem of men or society or the media.

Similarly, women who wear skimpy clothes are free to do so.

But everyone judges other people based on what they wear. I dress expecting that other people will look at me and know what they're dealing with. Everything from the ball cap to the jeans to the doc martens I think reflects who I am.

I strongly suspect that when you wear a corset, you're trying to project an image of who you are. You think that wearing a corset says something about you, and you want other people to pick up on that.

When young women wear butt floss that is clearly visible several inches above the top of their pants, they're saying something about themselves. And my interpretation of what they're saying is that they have bought into a media image that objectifies women and they want young men to like them more for their ass than for their personality.

As a straight woman, I'm generally more interested in the personalities than the asses of women I come across, but if I see a young woman who is dressed like that, I'll probably be less likely to think I have anything intellectually in common with them than if I see a woman dressed in a more modest (or God help us, a more creative) style.

And lest I be accused of sexism again, I judge guys the same way. Guys who dress like frat boys (which is the male counterpart, IMHO), I'm less likely to strike up a conversation with.

I think this *is* a real issue that is worth discussing. Clearly, there's a variety of opinion here.



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bettyellen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 09:56 PM
Response to Reply #85
99. thanks, you said it better than i could.
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CTLawGuy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 09:02 PM
Response to Reply #72
86. what happened to feminism....
being about giving women the same freedom to express themselves as men?

Seems we have a spat here between the libertarian feminist philosophy and the radical feminist philosophy.
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Finder Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 09:18 PM
Response to Reply #86
91. sub-labeling just makes it more confusing.lol
I think the divide is more about self-esteem and body image from what I can tell. Feminism isn't about what you wear or do in private, it is about equality, period. Radical, libertarian, liberal, conservative are just attributes of individual feminists.

Feminism is still thriving and hasn't changed.
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CTLawGuy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 09:30 PM
Response to Reply #91
92. well technically its about advancing the interests of women
here's what I conceive of as the difference between a feminist and a radical feminist.

feminist: women can do with their bodies as they choose and I have no right to question them.

Radical feminist: women can do with their bodies as they choose, as long as I approve of what they do.

Radical feminists see women as a singular moral entity (men too, albeit a different entity) whereas normal feminists are concerned about womens rights as individuals.

thus when one woman wears revealing clothes, the feminist sees her as making her own choice about how to express herself and how to display her body (or not), the radical feminist sees her as degrading the moral standing of the collective.

Same thing with women who choose not to have careers, but instead to stay home and raise a family. That upsets many radical feminists because they believe that choice validates the sexist paradigm they are trying to break down. Ordinary feminists see that as a woman making a rational choice that suits her. They are happy that she is able to choose a career if she wanted to (as many women do). that choice is what they want.
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Finder Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 10:10 PM
Response to Reply #92
103. I agree 100%
but I still don't think all rad fems are as radical about censoring words and clothing and life choices like it appears at times.
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Misunderestimator Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-08-05 08:26 AM
Response to Reply #86
119. You and some notable others keep saying RADICAL feminists...
Where are these radical feminists? Are they here on this board, do you think? Why use the word radical? The RW uses it to describe feminists across the board. Why do you use it?
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sendero Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 09:13 PM
Response to Reply #72
90. No...
... telling other people how to dress or how to see themselves or who to be, that doesn't make you sexist but it does make you someone whose opinion I do not value.
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lukasahero Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-08-05 09:15 AM
Response to Reply #72
121. No one WANTS to be ogled or groped.
Your comment is sexist, period. You are free to wear what you like, free to think whatever you want about the appropriateness of someone else's attire but you are being sexist when you suggest a woman ever wants to be groped etc. because of the clothing she wears. You make it her fault - i.e. - a sexist positioning of the act as if a man "can't help himself from grabbing her" when she "puts it out there for him". WTF?
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XemaSab Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-08-05 09:48 AM
Response to Reply #121
124. I disagree
I think that when I woman wears a thong so that it's sticking up above her pants, she wants to be ogled.

It's that simple.
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XemaSab Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 06:35 PM
Response to Reply #64
66. I was originally agreeing with post 9
"Doesn't help that young woman in our culture generally seem to welcome being viewed as sex objects. Corporate whores who don't even realize they're being driven to the back of the cave."

I wasn't sure of another word to use other than hoochie to describe the look. Perhaps "I am dressed like this because I want to be objectified" would be a fairer description....



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bettyellen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 06:46 PM
Response to Reply #66
67. so wearing a tank top = wanting to be objectified.
if you don't realize how sexist that is, i can't help you.
have fun with your ploar fleece lemmings all smug and looking down on those who don't look like you.
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XemaSab Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 06:52 PM
Response to Reply #67
71. wearing a tank top when it's under 70 degrees=
wanting to be objectified, yes indeed.

What, you don't think a single woman has ever consciously dressed so that she would be objectified?

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Finder Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 06:59 PM
Response to Reply #71
73. I wear tanks all through winter, myself...
with a blazer over it mostly. I never thought of tank tops as being slutty or inviting objectification though.
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bettyellen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 07:05 PM
Response to Reply #73
75. i do too, my office is 78 degrees in the winter. i have a million layers
Edited on Sun Aug-07-05 07:05 PM by bettyellen
on. but then again, i'm not ashamed of my body.
if someone treats me like an object, i set em straight. no need for me to wear protective armour just because they treat women poorly. i don't go out of my way to feel shame or accomodate assholes. :D
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XemaSab Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 09:09 PM
Response to Reply #73
88. it's not tank tops per se
so much as the whole look....

sorry, if I can see butt floss, that's over the line.
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bettyellen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 09:59 PM
Response to Reply #88
100. i think it's gross myself....
but i'm smart enough to know it says little about a person's true character.
so i would withdraw judgement until i actually knew something about the person.
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bettyellen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 07:01 PM
Response to Reply #71
74. people allow themselves to be objectified or they don't
the clothes don't matter much, it's what kind of strength as a person you have.
i've known women who dressed like librarians that allowed themselves to be treated like servants, and incredibly empowed women not afraid to show cleavage. there's a lot more to people thatn image, although you've decided otherwise. first there were too many of these women, now they're a rarity in your school, and now you'd like to tell us what temperature is acceptable. good god, i can't listen to this repressive judgemental bullshit anymore.
if you favor your own kind, good for you, stick with them and don't venture into the big city where others norms might clash with your own. it's a big world, lots of tank tops out there, omigod, you might see some dirty cleavage or something!
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XemaSab Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 09:36 PM
Response to Reply #74
95. You're perfectly welcome
to put me on ignore if you don't like my opinions.

:-)
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bettyellen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 09:55 PM
Response to Reply #95
98. well, i do think it's worthwhile discussing
Edited on Sun Aug-07-05 10:09 PM by bettyellen
but you said this is rooted in some negative experience with men for you. and instead of taking it out on the men, you marginalise the women you think they might prefer. that's a common catty reaction, and it perpetuates the whore/ virgin thing saying some women invite abuse.
you don't know those women, some of them have a lot more going on than you're willing to see. i'm not saying you need to embrace the look yourself, but it's xenophobic to think women who dress like you are somehow better, and covering up and dressing sexless is the answer to coping with men in society. that's how things used to be, before women worked outside the home, and it didn't get us anywhere. not taking shit from people who are willing to pre-judge you gets you somewhere, bucking under and feeling everyone should look sexless is giving people permission to treat people in skirts as less than human. not acceptable.
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Dora Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-08-05 09:36 AM
Response to Reply #98
122. It's not always catty to say, "Woman, you look...
...like a hoochie mama tonight."

If a woman is dressed like a hoochie mama, then I should be allowed to say she looks like a hoochie mama.

Speaking as a hoochie mama myself.
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DerekG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 08:16 PM
Response to Reply #67
84. "Polar fleece lemmings?"
Spare me. Most young women on campus do, in fact, wear revealing clothes. It's the style, and following said trend is indicative of lemming-like behavior. If anything, the "polar fleece" crowd are the non-conformists.

And why should I be chided for dressing conservatively (dress shirt/jeans) and finding this same quality attractive in women? Does it bother you that I'm a male who finds modesty laudable?

My apologies, for not bowing to the MTV ethos.
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Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 09:42 PM
Response to Reply #84
96. Deleted message
Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
 
hlthe2b Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 12:56 PM
Response to Reply #9
13. I agree. I also think that the fact that some young women buy into ..
Edited on Sun Aug-07-05 12:59 PM by hlthe2b
this, given a vulnerable period brouth on by their immaturity and naivete' is a convenient means of manipulating women as they emerge into the most productive and potentially influential period of their lives.
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Misunderestimator Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 01:01 PM
Response to Original message
14. I love the smell of men supporting women in the morning!
Thanks, ZW... :loveya:
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VelmaD Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 01:04 PM
Response to Reply #14
15. Yup yup...
Couldn't agree more. I've always kept a running list of posters who made egregiously sexist comments. A list of the "good guys" may be in order. :)
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catzies Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 01:32 PM
Response to Reply #15
29. So do I, Velma
It's called my ignore list. And it usually ends up coresponding w/the tombstoned, as I found once when managing my list. Coincidence? :D
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Finder Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 02:37 PM
Response to Reply #15
40. The famous "hit list"?
I think it is better to agree to disagree on some issues or educate those that may need educating rather than applying the "scarlet letter."

Personalities aside, there is too much to do for us to dwell on some things.



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Misunderestimator Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 04:07 PM
Response to Reply #40
43. It is VERY important to recognize and remember how people behave.
In life, and online.

How is an ignore list like applying a scarlet letter anyway? :shrug:
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Finder Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 05:15 PM
Response to Reply #43
51. I didn't mean the ignore list.
I was just being snarky and responding to the comment about keeping a list of those perceived to be sexists.
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Misunderestimator Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 05:24 PM
Response to Reply #51
52. Oh, you responded to the ignore list post... as for the sexist list, I ...
definitely keep one of those. Definitely! VERY important to remember who you are dealing with. I hated to get blind-sided twice.
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Finder Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 05:28 PM
Response to Reply #52
53. Did not.
lol

this felt like an elementary school post.lol
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Misunderestimator Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 07:12 PM
Response to Reply #53
76. Perhaps I mistook you for responding to the other post, but...
it doesn't change that it's a good idea to remember who the sexist people are.

And, yes, it does feel that way.
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VelmaD Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 04:16 PM
Response to Reply #40
45. I have no one on ignore...
I just remember the people that express sexist views.
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CTLawGuy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 09:13 PM
Response to Reply #15
89. wow
how Nixonian of you! An "enemies list"!
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progmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 10:01 PM
Response to Reply #89
101. it's funny
i rarely notice you posting unless it's defending sexism. weird. :shrug:
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CTLawGuy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 10:36 PM
Response to Reply #101
110. where do I defend sexism
or is that a standard boilerplate attack?

note, hang out in GD politics more often....
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progmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 11:01 PM
Response to Reply #110
113. ok - i will be more specific
the only time i notice you is when there is a thread about sexism, and you jump in to insult the women who object to sexist behavior.
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CTLawGuy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-08-05 07:02 AM
Response to Reply #113
117. ah ok
thats a little more reasonable, but it's still not quite accurate.

I'm challenging radical feminist ideas because I believe many of them are wrong, and harmful to feminism in general. that may be what you are thinking of.

I had my first real encounter with the radical feminists online when I posted a poll in the "Lounge" on another LW political site about which actresses people thought were most attractive.

NOT hottest,
NOT those who you'd like to "bang"
NOT even those who are best looking,

just "attractive".

and sure enough, the radical feminists got all bent out of shape over it, calling it sexist, and making assumptions that I was holding a "beauty contest". (Didn't take into consideration that "attractive" implies more than physical.)

That started a week-long flamewar about sexsim.

In real life, I got called a sexist because I said "marriage isnt necessarily sexist." (note, person was AGAINST gay marriage for this reason)

Hence I don't take radical feminism very seriously.

Where it is wrong, and out of perspective, I will point it out.

If you want to put me on your Nixon enemies list, then fine.
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Misunderestimator Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-08-05 08:19 AM
Response to Reply #117
118. You post a sexist poll objectifying women on a LW political site
and you're surprised that feminists called it sexist.

That's RADICAL FEMINISM to you?

For what it's worth, I've never seen YOU point out sexism here, ever. So, I guess it's your position that there is no sexism here.

:rofl:

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Finder Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 10:16 PM
Original message
uh oh...you seem to be on the list.lol
run...;)
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CTLawGuy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 10:35 PM
Response to Original message
109. I think I just made sure I got on the list
but seriously geez...
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progmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 11:02 PM
Response to Original message
114. didn't you used to post in the feminist group?
what was that - some kind of a joke for you?
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Bunny Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-08-05 08:27 AM
Response to Reply #114
120. Don't know if it was a joke for her, but it sure was a joke for a lot of
others! :rofl:
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 01:12 PM
Response to Original message
16. How hard is it to view another human as your equal?
Seriously, how fucking hard is that?
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Left Is Write Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 01:13 PM
Response to Reply #16
18. For some people, very hard.
I wish it weren't so.
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 01:16 PM
Response to Reply #18
21. I don't get it. I really don't.
Even people with whom I disagree deserve the most basic respect.

Sigh...
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Left Is Write Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 01:20 PM
Response to Reply #21
24. I don't get it either.
Having felt some subtle and not-so-subtle sexism when I was still out in the working world, it seems awful that we haven't come further.
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 01:23 PM
Response to Reply #24
26. I will say that my time here at DU has made me more aware.
Some "stealth" sexism and racism used to pass me by. I think I'm better at spotting it now.
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VelmaD Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 01:15 PM
Response to Reply #16
19. If you ever figure out the answer to that...
and how to "fix" it...I'll nominate you for a Nobel prize. Swear to gawd.

I've been contemplating this topic in a round about way all weekend...my only conclusion so far is that "people suck".
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Bat Boy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 01:13 PM
Response to Original message
17. Ain't a whole lot better in the afternoon or evening.
We needs us some air freshener.
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no name no slogan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 01:23 PM
Response to Original message
27. Thanks for opening the window ZW
the fresh air of truth is a welcome relief! :toast:
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Susang Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 01:33 PM
Response to Original message
30. I haven't been around much lately
What did I miss now? :shrug:

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ltfranklin Donating Member (852 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 01:34 PM
Response to Original message
31. It's only natural...
Now that we can see Democracy blossoming in Iraq, it's only natural to want the female citizens of our own democracy to enjoy the same freedoms that are now being given to their women.

Now, excuse me as I go wollop myself on the head with an empty 2-liter plastic bottle many many times for even thinking of this.

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Mizmoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 01:44 PM
Response to Original message
32. I have been offended by some porn threads
I think the issue of porn gets itchy because some of us lean towords radical feminism which despises porn (like me) and the progressive idea that it's simpy freedom of speech.

Any thoughts?
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VelmaD Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 01:49 PM
Response to Reply #32
34. This is a topic where I feel highly qualified...
to wade in. I am a feminist. I also edit gay porn as a side-job and I am very pro-erotica and pro-sex.

I do have a problem with some of the mainstream porn out there. I think the depiction of "lesbians" that is aimed at straight men is ridiculous and demeaning. I think a lot of the het porn out there depicts women as vacuous and merely vessels for men's enjoyment. And I think a lot of the people of both genders don't look like they're having fun. That's my big peeve...I'm all for sex, even really wild stuff, as long as everyone is there consesually. When people look like they're bored or drugged up or just not enjoying what's being done to them...it just does nothing for me. Sex should be FUN. :)

Oh, and men in porn who are having sex with their socks on. That bugs the hell outta me. ;)
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no name no slogan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 01:53 PM
Response to Reply #34
35. i always wondered about that....
i mean, seriously. is it really that much extra work to take your socks off, for fscks sake? :wtf:
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VelmaD Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 01:55 PM
Response to Reply #35
37. And they leave their damn watch on...
If I was getting into bed with a guy and he didn't take his fucking watch off...I might have to kick him to the curb. Drives me nuts because they go to all this trouble to try to make the women "appealing"...makeup and lingerie and fucking high heels in bed (don't get me started about THAT shit)...and then they have a guy wearing a watch and socks. ARGH!
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Lydia Leftcoast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 10:46 PM
Response to Reply #37
112. Wait a minute--I sleep with a watch on
:shrug:

It would seem silly to take it off for...that purpose.

At least I've never done the Jane Fonda in Klute routine with it. :-)
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no name no slogan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-08-05 09:40 AM
Response to Reply #37
123. the only thing i'd leave on was my ring
...back when i was married, so that was my excuse.

i always wondered about that, too.... was he timing himself, going for a new land speed record, endurance test, :wtf:? dammit i need some new hobbies...
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Left Is Write Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 01:55 PM
Response to Reply #34
36. I had NO idea people even DID stuff like that in porn!
SOCKS? That's so wrong. ;)
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 01:55 PM
Response to Reply #36
38. Yeah, you'd think that would ruin your traction.
:silly:
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ulysses Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 07:43 PM
Response to Reply #38
82. ok, I had that same thought.
:yoiks:
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ghostsofgiants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 05:02 PM
Response to Reply #34
48. Anytime anyone leaves arbitrary articles of clothing on in porn...
Edited on Sun Aug-07-05 05:02 PM by primate1
It's just ridiculous. It's usually footwear though. Guys with socks liek you said, or women with high heels. Always found that odd.

And you should get into writing/directing/producing instead of just editing. Porn is boring as hell most of the time because of what you just described.

On a side note: What is everyone talking about? I missed another jackass thread while I was gone?
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VelmaD Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 05:29 PM
Response to Reply #48
54. I'm not interested in writing/directing/producing.
I only edit because my best friend runs an online press for gay erotica. She asked me to edit and I said yes. You'd be amazed how my consumption of porn for personal enjoyment has declined now that I read so much of it as "work".
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ghostsofgiants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 05:31 PM
Response to Reply #54
55. Haha, that makes sense really
But since you're kind of in the industry...pass the word along that they need to take off their damn footwear, haha.
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VelmaD Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 05:35 PM
Response to Reply #55
57. I wouldn't say I'm "in the industry"...
I edit homoerotic novels for an internet press. The people who film cheesy het porn...I got no contacts with them. Sorry. :shrug:
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ghostsofgiants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 05:37 PM
Response to Reply #57
58. Haha, drat!
The footwear scourge will live on.
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WCGreen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 06:49 PM
Response to Reply #58
68. YEa what is up with that.....
Why can't they just strp out of their shoes....

No more porn for me...

It's like watching a national geographic special on sex
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name not needed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 07:18 PM
Response to Reply #58
79. You could always find the studio
and cut their feet off.
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ghostsofgiants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 07:36 PM
Response to Reply #79
81. Dude, you're a goddamn visionary
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Kipling Donating Member (929 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-08-05 05:40 AM
Response to Reply #34
115. Hey!
I lost my virginity wearing socks (on my feet). It's easily forgotten in the heat of the moment.
And, BTW, "pro-sex"? I think any opposition there has long ago become extinct, for obvious reasons.
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youspeakmylanguage Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-08-05 10:11 AM
Response to Reply #34
128. "And when they came for me..."
"First they came for the Communists but I was not a Communist so I did not speak out;
Then they came for the Socialists and the Trade Unionists but I was not one of them, so I did not speak out;
Then they came for the Jews but I was not Jewish so I did not speak out.
And when they came for me, there was no one left to speak out for me." - Martin Niemoller, 1892-1984

Regardless of your personal opinions of "het porn", you should be aware that those that would purge the porn industry from this country aren't going to stop after "cleansing" the heterosexual hedonists of the San Fernando Valley. They'll be coming for you and your friend next.

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Finder Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 02:28 PM
Response to Reply #32
39. only some radical feminists...
not all by any means. I personally see the anti-porn movement as a form of an anti-choice movement. All feminists are against exploitation and the divide weakens us as a force against sexual exploitation in general.

My 2 cents.
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applegrove Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 01:45 PM
Response to Original message
33. So insecure & toddlerlike that they need complete control over the
other or they freak out and attack. Yes many policies of the neocons are masoginistic.
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nothingshocksmeanymore Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 03:06 PM
Response to Original message
41. Hey I'm gonna shut up about misogyny and racism
before I get permanently silenced
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jonnyblitz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 07:13 PM
Response to Reply #41
77. no shit...
Edited on Sun Aug-07-05 07:14 PM by jonnyblitz
I am at the point where i dont give a fuck anymore. though. seriously...
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nothingshocksmeanymore Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 07:26 PM
Response to Reply #77
80. I pretty much have the emails and phone numbers of anyone
worth staying in touch with at this point.
When sports is more important than race issues on a progressive board,, perhaps I should shut up and let it implode.
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jonnyblitz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 07:57 PM
Response to Reply #80
83. yup
Edited on Sun Aug-07-05 07:58 PM by jonnyblitz
same with me re phone numbers and email addresses. I could go on..but i won't although perhaps I will in a PM to you later on when I am in a mood for venting and typing lengthy notes..
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skygazer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 04:01 PM
Response to Original message
42. Yeah, I think it is
I find myself shouting at the computer a lot more lately. ~sigh~

Thanks for pointing it out - we need men like you. :loveya:
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 04:59 PM
Response to Original message
46. I been in and out sporadically.
I've missed what might have happened this weekend. Is it worse than it was a few weeks ago?
(btw-I didn't have to witness it here today. I got all that I needed when I clocked in at work this morning).
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matcom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 05:09 PM
Response to Original message
50. kissing up are we?
:eyes:

sorry. haven't been on most of the weekend but is this a type of 'slinker-reaction' or is this legit?

that word is thrown around more than any other here (as you well know) so my question (which maybe harsh) i feel is legit

thanks for the clarification :hi:
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Crazy Guggenheim Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 06:51 PM
Response to Original message
70. I hope people do not take my *Manly* threads hard. They are
meant with a sense of humor and ridicule towards machismo.
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johnnie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 09:36 PM
Response to Original message
94. Where?
I saw two locked threads, but it doesn't seem anymore sexist as any other time. It's been getting bad for a few months now, but the problem is, some stupid thread starts as sexist, and then there are a load of threads calling out the one thread.
To be honest, there has been a lot more bashing of men then women here lately. It has become so bad that I don't like coming into the lounge as much as I used to.
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BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 09:44 PM
Response to Original message
97. It gets worse everytime I'm on this board.
And, y'all? That's not a nice feeling.
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WindRavenX Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 10:08 PM
Response to Original message
102. it's getting worse
Sometimes I just want to take a flame thrower to the collective Y chromosome x(
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XemaSab Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 10:12 PM
Response to Reply #102
105. Well sometimes I feel like
taking a flame thrower to the X chromosome... ALL the X chromosomes.

Stupid chromosomes. :-)
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WindRavenX Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 10:14 PM
Response to Reply #105
106. I'm sick of dealing with men living in the 50's
I can't tell you how disgusted I am with the men of my generation, which, I can say from experience, seem to be having that fucked up desire for women from the 50's.
Fuck that noise.
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XemaSab Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 10:16 PM
Response to Reply #106
107. I hear ya
Sometimes in my town I feel like I'm surrounded by people from the 1850's and lemme tell ya... it ain't pretty.
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WindRavenX Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 10:18 PM
Response to Reply #107
108. and it seems to be spreading
"Hey! Woman! BARE ME CANON FODDER!" x( x(

Wake me up when real men are around :cry:
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Kipling Donating Member (929 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-08-05 05:47 AM
Response to Reply #102
116. I wouldn't say it's getting worse.
The pace of reform may have slowed, but feminism is gradually seeping into every little corner. Give it time. I can't really speak for other countries, but around here the wage gap is closing, helped by ceaseless EU initiatives, we've had a female head of state (unfortunately), and the collective mind is slowly wrapping itself around the thought of total equality. Globalism being what it is, I expect it's the same worldwide. It may be infuriating waiting for the last creases of chauvanism to be ironed out, but pushing the issue much harder risks a nasty backlash.
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tarkus Donating Member (780 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-05 10:10 PM
Response to Original message
104. My women, lasagna, cheating thread was a quote from Clerks
So if that is making anyone mad I am sorry. I don't agree with the quote, but it is memorable.
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Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-08-05 10:06 AM
Response to Original message
126. Deleted message
Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
 
Moderator DU Moderator Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-08-05 10:16 AM
Response to Original message
130. Locking.
Locking.
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