This man buys his wife a grand piano but it is badly out of tune..

[rustydog]

He checks the yellow pages and sees an ad for a world famous piano tuner, Oppernockity, and gives him a call.

The maestro arrived at noon the next day and started to tune the piano. he soon discovered the job would last several hours and informed the owner that the tuning would last several hours.

The owner said his wife was due home soon and asked if Oppornockity would leave and continue the next day.

"No! " said the tuner, "Oppornockity tunes only once!"

[jobycom]

1. A guy walks into a bar carrying a shotgun

And shoots that joke!

[Spock_is_Skeptical]

2. ....groan

:P

[Clintmax]

3. ...groan

Boooo.

[Gildor Inglorion]

4. There was this little Jewish community of Trids...

and they were constantly plagued by a dreadful giant who would come into their midst and kick them unmercifully. In desperation, the Trids asked their beloved rabbi to approach the giant and ask him not to kick them any more. The rabbi agreed, and made his request to the giant. The giant replied, "Silly rabbi. Don't you know kicks are for Trids?"

(You probably need to be of a certain age to get this one...)