What are the upsides and downsides to marriage?

[Deja Q]

Inquiring lonely minds like mine want to know!
Thanks!


(apart from sharing credit, of course...)

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

1. I think it is important to know why you are getting married

If you marry not only for love, but for friendship, for staying the course with someone you truly wish to help in every way, the small inconveniences that crop up from time to time become really unimportant.

Married 16 years and very happy.

[childslibrarian]

6. Amen to that

Married 26 years to my best friend. We were friends first...

[lpbk2713]

2. If it works it can be great ......

But when it goes irretrievably bad, it is really bad.


Trust me.

[Canadian Socialist]

3. The downside?

From personal experience, for some godforsaken reason, the spouse insists on living with you. Well, I wouldn't put up with that! humph.

[no name no slogan]

4. Don't marry a succubus/incubus

or else you end up like me :o

one thing i wish my ex- had done better is COMMUNICATE. she didn't/doesn't talk about her emotions, what she's feeling, etc. and since i'm not a mind-reader, it made it VERY very hard to know where i stood.

i probably had four good years of marriage, and another four that were not so good. i would definately do it again, in a second, for the right person. but it would be a much better, stronger marriage, especially with what i know now.

[SarahB]

13. I could have written those same words.

Except I was married to an uncommunicative dude. In my case, 6-7 ok years (we never had a huge passion really), 5 pretty sucky years, and the last year was a nightmarish Hell. :grr:

[no name no slogan]

15. we had passion at first

probably because we slept together in my tiny twin bed our first couple years together-- you don't have too much choice then! :silly:

communication is a HUGE part of it. if that's not there, what's the point? i'm glad you and FinnFan found each other-- that's VERY cool that these interwebs can be used for good instead of evil, once in a while! :D

[ulysses]

5. it depends on the parties involved.

What works for me might well not for a lot of 36 y.o. men. That's why I'm married to my spouse and not theirs. :)

It's all relative. So to speak.

[Shoeempress]

7. Marriage to the right person, and by that I mean soul mate best friend

and lover, is fabulous. Down side of a good marriage, it totally sucks when that person has to travel without you. Upside, everything else. Up side of a bad marriage, you can get a divorce, down side, everything else. Happily married for just shy of 22 years, still madly in love with him.

[deutsey]

8. Here are my thoughts

Upside: You build a meaningful, mutally supportive life together with your spouse and, if you have/want them, your children.

Downside: To use Bush's phrase, it's hard work. There are as many valleys as there are mountaintops, as many sacrifices as there payoffs.

My experience tells me (12 years into my marriage) that the hard work pays off in ways you can't even imagine.

In all honesty, I see myself as truly blessed as a result of my marriage. Which isn't to say I've always felt that way (and neither has my wife). But there is a rock-solid foundation upon which we've built our lives together and we've endured many a storm as a result. I can't imagine my life without my wife and kids, nor would I want to.

[gollygee]

9. Upsides/downsides

upsides:

Always have someone to do stuff with
someone to split work/chores with
don't get lonely very often if at all

downsides:

someone else messing with your stuff
someone to clean up after
compromise, compromise, compromise

[kiraboo]

10. I think you've pretty much summed it up, except:

upside: sex always available
downside: sex inescapable

This is a female perspective, naturally! ;)

[Deja Q]

16. Hopefully I'll be married someday...

But I also know why I will be eternally unmarried! :D

[sendero]

11. Regarding one of the ..

.... oft-repeated descriptions of marriage "it's work".

I've been married more than once, and I can say that for me, a great marriage (the one I have now :)) is no work at all, but the others were definitely work. :)

[nosmokes]

12. i have deeply loved all my wives

including the current mrs nosmokes, but if, god forbid something should happen and this marriage goes south, in the future i'm just taking the path of least resistance and hiring a maid and doing the one night stand thing.

[caty]

14. The upside is that

you will be with that one person for rest of life. The downside side is you will be with that one person for the rest of your life.:rofl:

[Bullwinkle925]

17. Today would not be a good day to respond to this query.

I shall say no more.