Dubya's Resume - Check this out.

[BushWhacker]

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
I ran for congress and lost.
I produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.
I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas; the company
went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that
took land using taxpayer money. Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago White Sox.
With my father's help (and his name) I was elected Governor of Texas.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS:

I changed pollution laws to the benefit of power and oil companies and made Texas the most polluted state in the Union.
I replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog ridden city in
America. Cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money. Set record for the most executions by any Governor in American history.
I became president after losing the popular vote by over 500,000
votes, with the help of my father's appointments to the Supreme Court.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

I attacked and took over two countries.
I spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury.
I shattered the record for biggest annual deficit in history.
I set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12 month period.
I set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.
I am the first president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
I am the first president in US history to enter office with a criminal record.
In my first year in office I set the all-time record for most days on
vacation by any president in US history.
After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, I presided
over the worst security failure in US history.
I set the record for the most campaign fundraising trips; more than
any other president in US history.
In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their job.
I cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any
president in US history.
I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
I appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than
any president in US history.
I set the record for the fewest press conferences of any
president since the advent of television.
I signed more laws and executive orders amending the U.S. Constitution than any president in US history.
I presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.
I cut health care benefits for war veterans.
I set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest my decisions (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind
(http://www.hyperreal.org/~dana/marches ).
I dissolved more international treaties than any president in US history.
My presidency is the most secretive and unaccountable of any in US history.
Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US
history. (The 'poorest' multimillionaire, Condoleeza Rice has a
Chevron oil tanker named after her).
I am the first president in US history to have all 50 states of the
Union simultaneously go bankrupt on my watch.
I presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in any country in the history of the world.
I am the first president in US history to order a US attack and
military occupation of a sovereign nation, and I did so against the
will of the United Nations and the world community.
I created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.
I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending
increases, more than any president in US history.
I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations
remove the US from the human rights commission.
I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations
remove the US from the elections monitoring board.
I removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of
congressional oversight of any presidential administration in US history.
I withdrew from the World Court of Law.
I refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by
default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.
I am the first president in US history to refuse United Nations
election inspectors (during the 2002 US elections).
I am the all-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate
campaign donations.
My biggest lifetime campaign contributor, who is also one of my best friend, presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).
I spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in US history.
I am the first president to run and hide when the US came under attack (and then lied saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1)
I am the first US president to establish a secret shadow government.
I took world sympathy for the US after 911, and in less
than a year made the US the most resented country in the world
(possibly the biggest diplomatic failure in US and world history).
I, with a policy of 'disengagement' created the most hostile
Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.
I am the first US president in history to have a majority of the
people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to
world peace and stability.
I am the first US president in history to have the people of South
Korea feel more threatened by the US than their immediate neighbor,
North Korea.
I changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded
government contracts.
I set all-time record for number of administration appointees who
violated US law by not selling their huge investments in corporations bidding for government contracts
In the 18 months following the 911 attacks I have successfully
prevented any public investigation into the biggest security failure
in the history of the United States.
I removed more freedoms and civil liberties from Americans than any
other president in US history.
In a little over two years I created the most divided country in
decades, possibly the most divided the US has ever been since the
civil war.
I entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less
than two years turned every single economic category toward a downward trajectory.
RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

I have at least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas
driving record has been erased and is not available).
I was AWOL from National Guard and deserted the military during a time of war.
I refuse to take drug test or even answer any questions about drug
use.
All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my fathers library, sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or
bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I served on the
board are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review
Polls show, were the vote held today I would be reelected. Americans voters are voting party lines and will continue to. Performance, thankfully, is not an issue.

SCAREY ISN'T IT........

[efhmc]

1. The truth is always the scariest thing of all.

[BushWhacker]

2. Pretty astonishing huh? (n/t)

[BushWhacker]

3. Donkey Kick (N/T)

[david_vincent]

4. A couple of things...

First, you forgot to mention in his past work experience his involvement in a company that was in the business of providing those wonderful inflight meals to airlines. Also, when he sold his share of the Rangers he engaged in flagrant tax evasion, a fact which to this day is studiously ignored by our so-called journalists.
Second, not to nitpick, but Governor Bush is NOT at all the first US *resident to order an attack and military occupation of a sovereign nation. America has done this repeatedly throughout the 20th Century. Gov. Bush doesn't get points for originality on this score.
P.S. I loved your post!

[Kat45]

5. Incredible. I'll have to pass it on.

[BushWhacker]

6. Thanks!

yeah, lots of research... I'm sure there are some things people could add - let's add to this! But make sure you can back things up guys!

[7th_Sephiroth]

7. he produced

captain ron