Not so clever FReeper parody of the news

[Zuni]

This is really bad satire :eyes:

From FR:

Pat Robertson: Right-Wing Capitalist –sarcasm on


Posted on 08/26/2005 1:12:14 PM PDT by street_lawyer



The Washington Post reported that his "age-defying" diet shake isn't just a philanthropic endeavor anymore. The televangelist is looking to turn a profit from it… After four years of touting the benefits of his weight-loss shake via his nonprofit Christian Broadcasting Network and sending the recipe to any viewer who asked for it, Robertson has licensed the shake for national distribution by General Nutrition Corp., a Pittsburgh-based health-food chain. Robertson says he is exercising his right to engage in a business venture, but an “evangelical watchdog group” says he is abusing his nonprofit status. So far no specific group has claimed responsibility for the disclosure. Liberal media watchdog groups say that Jerry Falwell unearthed Robertson’s capitalist scheme. Falwell a well-known Christian fundamentalist has long record of preaching traditional values, and is suspected of wanting to rid the airways of Christian competitors. An unnamed liberal psychologist believes that greed is the prime motivator of Television Evangelicals, who hope someday to amass the wealth that the Vatican has achieved.

It is time the liberal media starts reporting that President Bush is trying to “distance” himself from Robertson, and demanding that Bush order the IRS to investigate this latest Christian capitalist takeover. You can bet that the far right talk show blowhards will ignore Robertson’s for-profit plan while demanding a full accounting on Whitewater, and claiming that the Oil-For-Food humanitarian aid program was riddled with bribes, payoffs, and embezzlement. Even as the religious radicals are shouting conspiracy, an evangelical watchdog group is looking for a man in Rangoon who reportedly told a bartender that Pat Robertson was seen taking a bribe from Saddam Hussein himself. That should shut-up all those righty rabble rousers with big mansions and gas guzzling SUV’s.

I think the senate should also investigate “General Nutrition Corp.” because it may be a front organization for funneling money into pro-life, anti-gay, and school-prayer groups. A Catholic watchdog group maintains that GNC is conspiring with the Pope to market relics, holy water, and oil to cure all kinds of sicknesses. If this ugly trend continues, even we atheists will start praying that Christ returns soon and removes all these right wing religious freaks off the face of the earth.

A New York liberal turned temporarily moderate who is an undeclared candidate for the top national political position in 2008, would not allow me to use her name, but said off the record: “There is no end to the evil caused by these Christians. Now they are even abandoning tax-exempt status to form commercial companies that pay taxes, and they will not stop until the entire country is run by large Christian corporations who will be financing organizations like move2theRight.org, which is a vast right wing conspiratorial group that intends to force traditional values of marriage, sex and religion upon documented American voters who are employed, while my constituency which is composed of poor unemployed victims of capitalism, gays, lesbians, anti-religious, anti-war, anti-capitalists, anti-Bush, anti-nuclear power , undocumented voters are ignored.”



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TOPICS: Constitution/Conservatism; Your Opinion/Questions
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1 posted on 08/26/2005 1:12:15 PM PDT by street_lawyer
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[Initech]

This has to be the unintentionally funniest statement made by a freeper:

" think the senate should also investigate “General Nutrition Corp.” because it may be a front organization for funneling money into pro-life, anti-gay, and school-prayer groups. "

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Initech]

1. This has to be the unintentionally funniest statement made by a freeper:

" think the senate should also investigate “General Nutrition Corp.” because it may be a front organization for funneling money into pro-life, anti-gay, and school-prayer groups. "

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: