Messages to Leave on the Answering Machine After You Dial a Wrong Number

[SoDesuKa]

There was a guy on afternoon television in San Francisco who would call people up to see if they were watching the movie. The show was called Dialing for Dollars. If he got an answering machine, he'd tell them that they missed a chance to win $1,000. I remember thinking it would have been kinder if he just hung up and said nothing.

Now that I'm older and nastier, the opportunities for a mean prank occur to me more often. Instead of just apologizing to the answering machine, why not add some spice to somebody's life? Suggested messages to leave:

"Dammit, Carol, I know you're home. Pick up! I'm taking Corky to the vet and having him gassed."

"This is the agency calling. Mr. Big said he likes you. Call back right away or you'll lose out."

"Phil, are you there? Alice found out about Debbie and she's mad as hell. Call back!"

[ThoughtCriminal]

1. What's the frequency Kenneth?

[Floogeldy]

2. Ha ha!

How about:

"The stuff is in. The stuff is in. They may be tracing me so get down here as fast as you can with the cash. And don't ever go back home again if you want to stay out of prison."

;)

[Nevernose]

3. I was just listening to this song:

Oh lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?
My friends all drive Porsches, so I must make amends.
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
So lord, won’t you buy me a mercedes benz ?

Oh lord, won’t you buy me a color tv ?
Dialing for Dollars is trying to find me.
I wait for delivery each day until three,
So oh lord, won’t you buy me a color tv ?

Oh lord, won’t you buy me a night on the town ?
I’m counting on you, lord, please don’t let me down.
Prove that you love me and buy the next round,
Oh lord, won’t you buy me a night on the town ?

Everybody!
Oh lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?
My friends all drive porsches, I must make amends,
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
So oh lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?

[LunaSea]

4. which version?

Janis or Goose Creek?

[Nevernose]

5. Janis n/t

[Elidor]

6. Clean this mess up, else we'll all end up in jail

Those test tubes and the scale
Just get it all outta here!
Is there gas in the car?

[fortyfeetunder]

7. Uh, not with Caller ID

figure folks with Caller ID might have a reason to call back....

[driver8]

8. OMG! We get a message from the same person at least once

a week -- a wrong number. Even after we have spoken to this person and told them that they have the wrong number and the person they are calling doesn't live here, they still keep calling.

They have a very heavy accent; maybe they don't understand English very well, I don't know but it is annoying as shit. Now, we are getting calls from the person who supposedly lives here's lawyer!

Oy vey.