Poll: Dating and age differences, big deal or no?

[Sal316]

Ok, my intention is to keep it relatively simple here. I know there's a lot more that goes into this than just ages, but it can be one of the most obvious differences between two people.

Personally, I have rarely dated women my own age. I tend to prefer older women (get your minds outta the gutter :evilgrin:!), but on occasion have gone out with women younger than me too.

So is it a big deal or no? And if it is, what is the age limits you put on potential dates (like +/- 5 years, etc.)?

Just curious here....

[Throckmorton]

1. As Mrs T often says, "The heart loves whom it will"

When I was a lot younger, say my teen years, I thought 5 years was an eternity. Now, 10 years dosen't look like all that much.

[Drifter]

2. My dad was ...

9 years older than my Mom. He was 28 and she was 19 when they got married.

They will have been married 50 years next year.

Cheers
Drifter

[Sal316]

10. Congrats to Mom and Dad Drifter!

50 years is awesome!

I tend to hover around the 7 year mark myself... not really in between, but 7 older or 7 younger... hmmm... wonder if that means anything?

[KCDem]

14. my parents also have a 9-year difference

(he's older) and have been married happily for 35 years and counting!

[Speck Tater]

3. My second wife was a lot younger than me.

I was in my mid-fifties when she hit 40. We were about 14 years apart, but it was never an issue.

I knew another family where the husband was in his early sixties and the wife was in her mid twenties. They had two kids together and were the happiest, most loving couple I ever had the great pleasure to know.

[populistmom]

4. It really depends

My husband is almost 10 years older than me and I'm generally not attracted to men my own age or younger anyway, and now at 31 and almost 41, it's not a big deal at all, but when I look back on it, because we have been together since I was only 18, I see some issues for sure. I don't think I would want my daughter in the same position I was because at 18 and 28, the differences and life experiences are just too great, so the balance of power is a bit scewed in the relationship as well as perhaps what each person is looking for from the relationship.

So, I mean now, I would probably prefer a man who was 40 or more and even if I was with someone who was over 50, it wouldn't be a big deal, but on the other hand, for someone very young, even 5 years can be a lot. I guess I'd sum it up by saying, the younger you are, the less difference there should be IMHO as someone who's been there, done that.

[slinkerwink]

5. I've dated a 36 year old woman, and briefly dated a 26 year old man

when I was 18.

[Sal316]

11. I lost my virginity to a 25 year old woman...

...when I was 18.

[matcom]

6. not at all! if there is grass on the field........

:spank: Matcom :spank:

:P

[Sal316]

7. You're just evil!

:evilgrin:

Great article, fellow vet!

[Lady Freedom]

22. Just because there is snow on the roof...

don't mean the basement ain't got a fire going!hehe!

[SOteric]

8. Age can make a difference in the success of a relationship

or it can be no obstacle at all.

It's an issue if the two people are at very different places in their lives. A young man or woman wanting to spend a lot of time socialising, partying, going to concerts and being rowdy is not always the best possible life companion to someone wishing to slow down, retire from the work force, spend more time at home with family and only a few, occasional very close friends. Those things can come to an individual at any age, but there is more of a pronounced generational divide in these things which coincide with phases of life.

Sometimes it's just really nice to have a companion who has the same nostalgic experiences about music, books, politics and society that we have. It can be like a lovely old pair of jeans that fit in just the perfect way.

I briefly dated a young man who was 19. In the end it wasn't the fact that he was 19, it was the fact that he was exactly at the maturity level a 19-year-old should be that caused me to decide it would go no further.

[Sal316]

12. Maturity level is the second part of the equation here, true.

I tend to believe that it's the miles, and not the years, that define us.

However, since I've turned 30 (31 in 5 days) it is something I find myself thinking about more.

[SOteric]

20. Well, sure, - the miles do define us

but maturity still has a factor.

I don't mean that as an insult. In the case of the 19-year-old, for example, he was at a point in his life where he was into pretty girls, rock & roll, recreational drug use, parties 'til dawn and cold pizza and beer for breakfast. If you're putting together a stereotype in your mind, it's not far off the mark.

I was not much different at that age. Substitute a 'hot dudes' for pretty girls, etc. I've known 19-year-olds (many who are my students) who have had to live very different lives than this fellow, and had the maturity and deportment of a 30-year-old. I always think that's a little bit sad in some ways.

I neither wanted to deprive him of his opportunity to experience those things with abandon. Nor could I say they held any interest to me as a youngish 30-something whose activism and social causes are literally a matter of life and death to some 200 people.

[Sal316]

24. Not taken as an insult at all... I agree with you.

The intellectual and emotional maturity is usually determined in time, though, IMO. On initial contact age is on the checklist.

I've known some 19 year-olds that have the maturity of a 30yo, too.... and the opposite.

[Loonman]

9. One of my roommates is dating a guy 20 years older than her

I'm confused though, because I can't tell if she's really ditzy or he's really manipulative.

Maybe a little of both.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

17. Could be the opposite, y'know...

It's generally the older man who can provide the more material comforts that a young woman often thinks will satisfy her.

And it's generally the younger woman who can provide the ilusion that a man isn't so old after all.

But if a relationship is based on these flimsy elements rather than a genuine caring interest in each other, it'll probably fall apart in the first wash.

[Loonman]

23. I'm not sure

From my observations.


I could be biased though, since I've caught him in violation of several house rules(I have more than one roommate), and brought them to his attention right away.

The other day she forgot her house keys. I had gotten home a few minutes later, after someone else who came home let them in, her room was still locked. He says, "from now on, you leave a window open, understand".

I say "WTF, so if we get robbed because she can't remember her keys, are you going to reimburse us?".

No reply to that one!


Plus, no offense to 50 year old guys, but seeing a 50 year old guy in a Speedo coming back after using the bathroom is not an appetizing sight at 5am.

[Lady Freedom]

13. Thanks to the little blue pill...

I use to say that under 18 they were protected by law and over at least 85 by age. Now that there is that wonderful little pill they have no protection save marrage and that under 18 law! Muhahaha! There all mine!!!!!

Edit> More evil laugh. Muhahahahha!Muhahhaha! Muhahahahaha!

[Sal316]

15. Bad lady... you need a spankin'!

:evilgrin:

LOL!

[Lady Freedom]

16. Thank you!

a little harder please?

[Sal316]

21. Ok! You asked for it!

:spank::spank::spank:

:evilgrin:

[Lady Freedom]

25. Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

:evilgrin:

[supernova]

18. Depends on maturity level of the couple

Date whomever you want/like. This only applies to hopes of making it a LTR:

I don't think a 30/40 yo pairing is that bad. Also the younger of the pair may be older than their chronological years.

OTOH, I think the younger you are, the more of an issue it is. Someone 18-19 seeing someone 25+ is going to have a difficult time.

[Kat45]

19. It depends on the individuals, where they're at in life, and

what kind of relationship you're talking about. I've been seeing a man who is 15 years younger than me, but this is a totally casual (f*buddy) kind of thing so age is not an issue at all. But if we were interested in getting involved in a serious relationship (which we're not), it would depend a lot on whether or not he is interested in having children someday because I'm 48 and not planning to be one of those older women having a baby. (But I never wanted kids anyway, so even if I was his age it would be an issue.)