God I just did something really scary (work)

[Samurai_Writer]

I've been having serious medical problems and some rather traumatic personal problems over the past three months. I live alone, with no family or friends for 1100 miles. The only thing keep me here is, you guessed it, work. And for the past three months, my work has been REALLY slow and my job has devolved into more of a glorified secretary position than for what I was originally hired for.

My mom and my son have been begging me to move back home for years now. Well, I started doing a long-distance job search about three months ago, with no luck. So today, I wrote a memo to my boss, basically outlining why it was good for the company, the department and for myself why the company should eliminate my position, thus allowing me to a)receive severance and benefits for a short period, b)file for unemployment and c)move back home as soon as my job was eliminated.

I have NEVER asked to be laid off in my life. I have some money saved, and would be eligible for unemployment. I would be staying at my mom's until I found another job (already have three companies considering my resume in my mom's area). I have minimal bills (car payment and insurance, no credit card debt). So money isn't really the problem. But I am scared to death! I mean, I REALLY want to move home, desperately, for lots of reasons. I was hoping I would have a job offer before I moved home, but it's become obvious to me that no one is going to hire me, because I'm a)already employed and b)living out of state. I've had interviews where I SHOULD have gotten the job, flown there at my own expense, and still haven't gotten it. So I think this is the only choice I have, if I really want to move home, which I do.

Please tell me I just didn't do something incredibly stupid. My heart's going about a million miles a minute at this point.

[MnFats]

1. That's remarkable. You're brave. Congratulate yourself.

I hope it works out for you.
And think of this: your departure may mean some other employee won't get laid off and can keep his/her job. So feel good about your decisions.

[demnan]

2. As long as there are jobs available in the area

(if it's a reasonably populated area) - I don't think you should have any problem finding a job. One thing I would look into though, since unemployment is paid according to the state that you live in, I don't know if collecting it makes a difference if you move. You'll have to investigate how that works.

[Samurai_Writer]

5. Yes there are plenty of jobs in my field there

It's a huge city. Most jobs are contract, but right now I don't care. Most agencies offer medical benefits, vacation, etc, so I wouldn't be losing anything.

I am looking into the unemployment thing. I think as long as you've worked XX number of months in the past 18 months, they don't care what state. I could apply for benefits in either state, I believe. My mom's state's benefits pay more than the state I'm in, by about $60 a week (I would qualify for the maximum amount in both states).

[Lydia Leftcoast]

3. I made a leap into the dark about 12 years ago

when I left academia and went free-lance.

It was something that I felt compelled to do, but everyone told me how risky it was.

However, I was soon glad that I did it.

Then two years ago, I left Portland, my home of ten years, because I seemed to have come to a dead end in every respect. It was a good move.

If your heart is insisting that you do this, it's the right thing.

[graywarrior]

4. Wise move.

The scariest part is the anticipation. Once you start packing, things will fall together quick.

I am planning a similar move back to NE in April.

Try not to keep you head in the space where you question yourself.

[Rhiannon12866]

6. That's just not remarkable and brave, but I admire you.

You know what you need and what you want and have absolutely gone after it, guns blazing. Sounds to me like you're going to get exactly what you want.

As for not being hired while you're already employed, I've heard just the opposite. But those companies who are considering you don't yet know that you might have managed to get yourself laid off.

And it also sounds as if you're pretty responsible. Any company would be lucky to get you.

And are those all your pets?! Good luck traveling with all of them, LOL! They're quite lovely. Cockers are my breed, as well, and don't get me started on my two black cats...:D

Please let us know how this turns out! But I predict good news and a happy family reunion!
:yourock:

[Samurai_Writer]

7. The cocker spaniel and black cat have passed on...

Some of the trauma these past few months is that I had to put them both to sleep within a relatively short period of time. The cocker spaniel, Magic, quite unexpectedly. :( I only have the other two cats now, and that is quite enough, especially to travel with. I call them my Two Grumpy Old Men (although they really aren't grumpy -- just old).

Yes, I've heard the opposite about job searching too, but it seems whenever I say I need 2 weeks to give my current job notice and 1 week to move, the prospective employer loses interest.

I'm hoping it is the right decision. I think it is... I know I can't stay here much longer without it making me completely miserable. I never realized how much I needed to be around family and friends until I was away from them for a couple of years.

[Rhiannon12866]

13. OMG! I wasn't paying attention! Of course I remember Magic!

And the black kitty! We've had several exchanges since Magic first became sick. And you'll remember me from the pix of my beloved guys, both of whom I've lost, as well. Believe me, I know what it's like. I take older animals and I lost my two kitties and my tiny cocker, Samantha, within 11 months and, later, my two cockers, within six months, both unexpectedly and while they were having practically weekly vet visits, including for acupuncture. My heart goes out to you.:hug:

How far will you have to travel with your older kitties? There was a post ages ago about traveling with cats, by car, across the country. I asked my vet, who's brilliant, what he'd recommend, and he said acepromazine. I reluctantly used this for my Barney, since he was 18, and it really worked wonders.:-)

You'll remember these two:




I wish you all the best with the job change. I think that you were very brave to move, in the first place, to where you knew no one. I sure couldn't do it. I had this decision to make one time and I just couldn't do it. And it wasn't only friends, but my vet and my dentist and the folks who know me at my corner market! I've found the best for all kinds of things and just couldn't start over!:shrug:

Let me know how this turns out. I really do think it's the right decision for you. And you've done it in a very intelligent and far-sighted way, given yourself a safe cushion. I think you'll do just fine!:hi:

[Samurai_Writer]

16. Yes, I remember your furbabies!

Your black cat and Nightmare look so alike. My old guys are doing great, and it will be at least an 1100 mile trip (probably more, will have to detour around MS and LA now).

What's funny, is that I haven't heard from any recruiters about interviews for a couple of weeks, and tonight I get a call from a recruiter, and have a phone interview on Friday. For a job in Colorado, where my sister and two of the three most adorable nieces in the world live (my brother's daughter is the other one). I'd rather move to Houston, but I will go anywhere family is right now!

I'll definitely let you know what happens!

[Rhiannon12866]

18. And I remember that your kitty did look like my amazing girl...

I knew you'd remember my guys, as well. I have a new DU friend who saw some pix I posted and just put this lovely triptych together for use in my sig line, but, with the new rules, it's now too large. You'll recognize Barney, and the other two are my current dogs, both of whom were supposed to be cockers, but these are the dogs I ended up adopting because they were the ones who needed homes...:loveya:



Where in Colorado? I have family there, in Englewood and Castle Rock, near Denver. My one cousin has had a hell of a time keeping a job because the companies he has worked for keep moving out of state and he isn't willing to relocate. He was an accountant for Texaco, but they moved to Houston, of all places...:shrug:

But you have family there and what sounds like a great prospect. Your nieces sound adorable, too. If you're anywhere Castle Rock, you could meet my cousin, LOL! She also has two little girls. Let me know how this works out, okay? I'm sure you'll land firmly on your feet...:hi:

[FlaGranny]

8. Nearly 30 years ago,

we packed up the van with our 5-year-old and his hamster and all our possessions we could fit into it and left NJ and moved to Florida, with no jobs and no place to live. We had $12,000 in the bank from the sale of our home, but it was still a pretty scary experience. We were young enough at the time (our 30s) to also view the move as an adventure. It worked out for us.

Since you've already made the decision, try to stop worrying about it and explore the possibilities. You are doing something you WANT to do. Try to turn your fear into excitement and into planning your future.

[defiant1]

9. Good luck....

That's awesome.

You did the right thing, it sounds like you were miserable. And being 1100 miles from friends and family can't help.

IMHO, you should be able to move back home with a clear conscience.

Hope everything comes up roses and champagne.

:toast:

[Javaman]

10. Change is good and healthy. Embrace it! Good luck!

[cally]

11. I moved across country

to live closer to my family years ago. I quit my job. It was the absolutely best decision I made. Years later, my parents are much older and I'm glad I've been near them. I did end up with a better job than I had after one bad job. Family and friends are important.

[Samurai_Writer]

12. My mom is getting older...

and she takes care of my mentally and physically disabled sister. My 24 year old son is there to help, but I feel like I should be there, too. It's one of the reasons I want to move back home.

[ronnykmarshall]

14. That's a great idea!

Where's is "back home"?

[Samurai_Writer]

15. Houston

Although I think I'm going to have to take a BIG detour around MS and LA to get there now... :(

[Darth_Kitten]

17. You are following your heart....

that's BRAVE, kiddo.

Wow! :)

[Kathleen04]

19. This sounds like a

very positive change! Being closer to friends and family will be excellent for you. A new job will fall into place--not worth holding off on everything else for..work to live, not live to work, as they say.

Best of luck to you. Keep us updated. :)

[Samurai_Writer]

20. I've always tried to live by that adage...

Work to live, don't live to work. Also, that you should enjoy what you're doing.

When I first moved here, I thought of it as a big adventure. New place, new culture, opportunity to meet new friends, opportunity to advance in my field.

Well, besides the fact that I love the area (there are nature preserves, state parks, beautiful beaches, etc. within five minutes of my apartment), everything else has been a disappointment.

I've never gotten over the culture shock of moving from a huge city to a small town. The ultra-conservativeness of this area has been depressing me ever since I moved here. So, you can imagine I have not made any close friends.

My job turned out not to be what was promised when I was hired, and has slowly devolved into something that a kid right out of college could do, honestly. I am bored to death and don't feel appreciated. And the way the company is structured, I will NEVER advance... well, unless my boss dies. And since he's 30 years old, I don't think that likely.

I am over my initial anxiety and starting to get excited about the move. I've been slowly cleaning out my closets, taking things to goodwill, etc. This weekend I will start packing in earnest, to get a head start!

Thanks for all the encouragement, I really appreciate it, all of you!