THIS JUST IN: President Declares New War on Candor

[AnarchoFreeThinker]

10:17 EST
Citing the continued need for fabricated enemies, political red herrings, smokescreens, and deception in order to divert attention from his 14-week vacation and slow the rapid descent of his public approval ratings, President Bush today officially renewed his commitment to the War on Candor.

White House officials close to the president reportedly had become increasingly alarmed by the President's inability to maintain his facade as a competent liar. Last Spring, source's say several top aides were close to resigning after the President forgot to assume authorship of the New Testament at a news conference that appeared in prime time. Yet, in recent weeks White House staffers have been heartened by the President's "Ignorance is Strength" reply to reporters covering the torture of US-held prisoners of war, the crafting of the new Islam-based Iraqi constitution, and the suffering in the wake of hurricane Katrina. And just last week, the President further boosted staffer morale when he answered renewed allegations about his desertion from duty during the Viet Nam War by telling the press that missing time from his service in the National Guard "probably had nothing to do with Wild Turkey and cocaine."

However, sources close to the President have revealed that the President's recent openness about hearing angels on his shoulders whispering, "you bastard, you've forsaken the people most in need" also alarmed staffers concerned by the implications of this sort of honesty and full disclosure. A shift in policy at this point in Bush's term would be disastrous, they argued. Many on the Bush team, as well as both the House and Senate majority leaders, worried that Democrats would hammer Bush on his flip-flop to a new pro-Truth stance, and it is believed that today's re-dedication to the War on Candor is meant to appease disgruntled supporters both in the White House and on Capitol Hill.

The President's full plan to defeat the candorists was not revealed but is believed to include immediate tactical strikes against the Democratic Underground.

[GOPBasher]

1. ROFLMFAO!!!!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


That was the funniest fucking thing I've read all week! Good job? :thumbsup: :applause:

:rofl: