I need help

[khashka]

I was bored and browsing the archives and ran face first into progmom's pandas and sundog's squid.

I need something to take the sickeningly sweet taste out of my mouth. Post something bitter. Or salty.

Khash.

[bridgit]

1. you got it...

http://www.plumbingworld.com/historybabylon.html

[khashka]

3. Maybe that was too much bridgit...

The International History Of Public Toilets wasn't quite what I was looking for!

LOL!

Khash.

[bridgit]

8. whoopsy...

:blush:

[Heidi]

2. WSB to the rescue.

He was both bitter and salty. RIP.

[khashka]

4. I usually keep a copy of Naked Lunch at hand

Philip Jose Farmer wrote a great pastiche - what if William S. Burroughs had written Edgar Rice Burroughs' books? The result? A Tarzan tale titled "Jungle Rot Boy On The Nod". Clever and the sex scenes (Tarzan and the Apes! Whoa!) are a little bit titillating....


Khash.

[xmas74]

5. WTF were you thinking!

[khashka]

6. It wasn't intentional

I was reading somebody else's old posts and I ended up in Panda/Squid hell. And then I couldn't get out...

It was horrible, truly horrible. My skin is still crawling...

"Khash, neither fluffy kittens nor hot hairy men will get you out of this one, beg your friends to give you your cynicism back. It's your only hope....."



Khash.

[xmas74]

10. Hot hairy men always help!

That or this pic will help you out.

[khashka]

11. You just had to post that didn't you?

You are a wicked, wicked woman.

Here I am being all hurt, but kinda cute and fluffy. Khash is only being cynical and nasty so someone will pet him... that kinda thing.

And you have to go and prove I'm not a fluffy bunny, I'm a horndog.

Thank you so much!

:)

Khash.
(but I would like to lick every inch of his body.... oops, sex thread)

[xmas74]

12. I want to do more than lick!

But that would really lock this thread!

[khashka]

13. Discretion is the better part of valor

when Skinner is looking over your shoulder....

Bet I can outdo you in the "What I Would Do To Trent Pornographic Filth" sweepstakes.

Unfortunately, you win : he likes girls.

Khash.

[xmas74]

17. I do win since he likes girls.

And he supposedly liked Tori Amos once so I really win since she has red hair too.
But he's been referring to breeding lately-I just don't know right now. One big baby and a c-section scar might be enough for me.
(btw-it might be a tie on the porographic filth sweepstakes. I can think of some rather vulgar things to do to him also!)

[khashka]

31. Bitch!

Why can't I have him? You're just being all heterosexual and not playing nice!

>And he supposedly liked Tori Amos once so I really win since she has red hair too.


Well that makes sense of some of her songs... but she dyes her hair.


>But he's been referring to
breeding lately-I just don't know right now. One big baby and a c->section scar might be enough for me.

Sounds like more than a enough for me. Babies are cool, but can't they come into the world nicely? Like by UPS or FedEx?

>(btw-it might be a tie on the porographic filth sweepstakes. I can think of some rather vulgar things to do to him also!)

It will be a sad day for the world when we finally get together. The streets shall overflow with filfth, but, hey, we'll have fun :)


Khash.

[xmas74]

41. I dyed my hair recently too.

I put blonde highlights all over the lovely redness.

And breeding should come in a way that does not involve me gaining weight,finding a stretchmark or causing my breasts to grow to a repulsive size that I have to wonder if they will ever be quite as perky again(they're not but at least they don't touch my knees).

And when we get together someday we will make the fundies run and scream. I think that we need to meet up by Fred Phelps compound. Our perversion will make them all take cover for the next one hundred years.
Not only would we have fun but we would be providing a valuable service to our country.

[ghostsofgiants]

7. Should do the trick

[AVulgarianHue]

9. ASalty Dog that will raise bile...

[tjwmason]

14. Here's something very very bitter

Not so sure about salty - I try to keep to a fairly low sodium diet. But also really sharp like a lemon, or a really really bad white wine.

[khashka]

16. I declare a time out... time to get the refs in

This is not fair. TJ knows that that pic makes me weak in the knees and completely incapable of coherent thought.

Foul!

Either he's flirting with me or tormenting me. And probably both at the same time. Those eyebrows still make me swoon.


Khash.

[tjwmason]

27. All your swoons are belong to us.

:P

[khashka]

29. If it wasn't for those eyebrows

I could probably think of something mean and cruel and unbelievably witty to say....


Khash.

[Wetzelbill]

15. Bitter, salty and crusty

"It's my way or the highway!"

[Deja Q]

32. and for a moment I thought you were going to mention my underwear!

:wow:

[bertha katzenengel]

18. How's this for salty?

Last night Mrs. V. and I watched "Grumpy Old Men." These lines were played under the credits as outtakes -- a very old Burgess Meredith with comments on what a friend was up to upon seeing the friend enter a new and sexy neighbor's home:

Looks like Chuck's gonna take old one-eye to the optometrist.

Looks like Chuck's gonna bury his boner.

Looks like Chuck's gonna take the skin boat to tuna town.

There were a lot more, but in typing it out it seems that they're nowhere near as funny here as they were in the film. Rent "Grumpy Old Men" - hilarious. (And sad to think that four of the men in that cast are gone now.)

:hi: Khash - are you well?

[khashka]

19. Bertha - I'm appalled

"Chuck's going to bury his boner"

Even I have never sunk that low...

And I thought you were a respectable lady!

Khash.

[bertha katzenengel]

22. Respectable? Hardly. Prude? Absolutely.

But you had to be there, Khash. It WAS hilarious. Mrs. V. and I laughed so hard that it still hurts, and it's been 24 hours.

Did I truly offend you? I am sorry. :(

[khashka]

23. Offend? Me?

The man with one of the foulest mouths in the Lounge? Of course not.

But you can be a little bit prudish, so I had to tease you about posting something like that. It was my civic duty :)

Khash.

[bertha katzenengel]

25. You've done your duty, my friend.

:blush:
:pals:

[Left Is Write]

20. Salty?

[sundog]

21. aw c'mon khash

they weren't THAT bad were they? :P

if they were, then i did my job :thumbsup:

[khashka]

24. Every time I eat calamari

I think of your baby squid... and get all choked up. But, of course, it doesn't stop me. I just wipe away the tears and chow down :)

Khash.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

26. Here you go Khash...

[khashka]

28. Trust the Goddess of G

I know who my friends are :)

Khash.

[In_The_Wind]

30. think about ...

The Story of O

[khashka]

33. Joani what has happened to you?

You used to be such a nice lady!

(Actually I've been trying to rewrite it from the male characters' point of view - just doesn't fucking work. O's submission is beautiful, inspiring - reading it gave me the courage to do the same. But twisting it around and writing the same story from the other viewpoint is damn near impossible!)


Khash.

[In_The_Wind]

35. I'm the same person that I've always been ...

Did you think that I was part of the Red Hat & Purple Frock group > I assure you that I am not!

I prefer to wear ... oranges and yellows with my Red Hats.

Why would my choice of reading material change your mind about me?

[khashka]

36. I just keep finding out new things about you

It's kinda fun :)


The more I find out the cooler I think you are....

It's like a game where I always win :)


But I do have two questions....

1) Using the term skyclad.... odd and evocative...

2) what happened to the girl who described herself as too serious? You can be serious, true, but you shine "brightly brightly and with beauty". That serious girl has turned into a wildcat.. I'm all for it, just occassionally I'm surprised.....

I once described you as having hidden depths, now I'm seeing some of them, well, I always knew you rocked, now I see you really truly do rock.


My mind might be changing about you, but it's all good!

Khash.

[In_The_Wind]

44. You've only begun to see the real me.

I really am glad that you think I'm cool because I have always thought that you're cool. I try to play so that there are only winners, everyone is happy when the game is over - even if the going gets a bit rough along the way. I bail at times when I believe that it would be more prudent to walk away, not always what I want but almost always 'in the best interest of all concerned'.

1) so if I understand you correctly you are saying that I possess practical savvy, an occasional bit of sass while being sensual and sensuous, amusing, profound with an infamous past ...

2) Yes, I am far too serious about many things but I have always been a wildcat. I just retract my claws until the proper moment to unleash some of my passion. It takes time and lots of it for the true Joani to emerge, to reveal myself ... like a tightly closed flower bud unfolding under the gentle warmth of the sun.

AND ... Khash ... as you may have noticed - I don't enter into these brief exchanges with just anybody, my friend.

[khashka]

46. Joani

I suspect you will always surprise me. And I look forward to those surprises.

And as for this statement:
>AND ... Khash ... as you may have noticed - I don't enter into these brief exchanges with just anybody, my friend.


Yes I know, Joani. And I feel incredibly blessed. You and a handful of others (the people I most admire and who always amaze me) have offered me the hand of friendship. Have let me know and become close to them. Have let me cross certain boundaries. And I'm grateful....


(Ok, and a little smug - me and the Goddess are best buddies and she'll give me damn near anything I want.)

But mostly grateful.... it really means something when somebody is willing to let you in. And you and I met almost accidentally, but I value you friendship. It matters.


Now that Khash got all serious, he's going to have to go post some random stupid silly sex thread.


Khash.

[In_The_Wind]

50. where ... where is this random random stupid silly sex thread ...

I need, nay, I desire a random stupid silly sex thread!

NOW

[Pale Blue Dot]

34. Look on the bright side

You could have run into one of my threads from a month or two ago. People went into diabetic shock!

[khashka]

40. Yeah I was avoididing the Sarahbelle/Finnfan threads

simply out of self-preservation. I didn't have enough insulin on hand.

So, boychick, everything still as sickeningly sweet as it was?

No details... a simple yes or no will suffice. And remember, my threat still stands - you do anything to make her unhappy and I will smack you upside the head!


Khash.

[Pale Blue Dot]

45. Yes!

And if I make her unhappy I'll have to deal with her daughter, and frankly, I'm much more frightened of her! :scared:

[SarahB]

48. Or our disgruntled marital threads from two years ago.

It's amazing we didn't end up.. well, you know. "My dirty mind is my torment...thoughts that gnaw on me like a piranha as I try to get things done." I was whacked. We were both a bit whacked. :crazy:

Good timing is sweet. :*

p.s. Folks, we're trying not to be irritatingly sappy. We may not always succeed, but we're trying. :D

[khashka]

49. Be as sappy as you want

It's nice to see you happy.

And, grudgingly, I have to admit I like him too :)

So be sappy... it's nice and kinda cute :)

Khash.

[AussieDave]

37. Would you like some Vegemite ??

If that doesn't remove the sweetness, nothing will (except battery acid, and you don't want to go there......)

[ScreamingMeemie]

38. Everyone knows that Pandas are delightful...why would I want to

remove that from your mind? :shrug: ;)

[Crazy Guggenheim]

39. Here this will cheer you up!

YAKS!

[khashka]

42. I thought you were such a nice man

Sometimes I wonder.... who here can I trust? Who can I depend upon? And you end up at the top of the list.

And then you do this! CG and his yaks! Progmom and her Pandas! Sundoggie and his squid (and wasn't that a nightmare!).


But I forgive you. You posted the viking kittens and made me deliriously happy....

So in spite of your icky yaks, you're still my buddy.

Khash.

[Crazy Guggenheim]

43. Did it make you forget the other stuff?

[enigmatic]

47. This always works for me...

My main man Charles Bukowski w/ a squeeze: