supernova
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Wed Sep-07-05 12:01 AM
Original message |
You know what bothers me most? |
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Edited on Wed Sep-07-05 12:21 AM by supernova
Not that I have problems to work out. Not that I have dilemmas to decide on. Not that quandaries don't come up in life.
Shit happens. I understand that. I'm perfectly prepared to cope with the vagaries of life.
What I don't understand, and help me out here, is why when people ask you "What's wrong?" they don't want to stick around long enough to find out? :shrug:
edit: I'm sure this post will sink like a stone because people will say :wtf: is she talking about?
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Crazy Guggenheim
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Wed Sep-07-05 12:03 AM
Response to Original message |
1. Just tell them if you wanted their opinion you'd ask for it. |
knowbody0
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Wed Sep-07-05 12:03 AM
Response to Original message |
supernova
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Wed Sep-07-05 12:09 AM
Response to Reply #2 |
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...... I have a hard time talking about myself to begin with.
Just when I might get going on a topic, particularly something that is bothering me... I notice a pattern of people not wanting to stick around to listen. They suddenly decide they'd rather be elsewhere. For whatever reason.
It's probably me. Or just that I "pipe up" at the wrong time. *sigh*
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Crazy Guggenheim
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Wed Sep-07-05 12:10 AM
Response to Reply #4 |
5. How's that piping up at the wrong time if they asked you? |
supernova
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Wed Sep-07-05 12:13 AM
Response to Reply #5 |
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If they don't want to know the answer, I'd rather they not have asked in the first place.
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Crazy Guggenheim
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Wed Sep-07-05 12:15 AM
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9. Just remember what I said above ......... If they are just curious |
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then don't respond and walk away.
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supernova
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Wed Sep-07-05 12:20 AM
Response to Reply #9 |
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I don't know the difference, so I usually wind up getting hurt. :cry:
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knowbody0
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Wed Sep-07-05 12:21 AM
Response to Reply #4 |
11. ya gotta be careful about spreading dread |
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ya gotta problem. look for a solution. if there be one, try and find it, if there be none, nevermind it
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supernova
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Wed Sep-07-05 12:23 AM
Response to Reply #11 |
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Edited on Wed Sep-07-05 12:23 AM by supernova
I'm not talking about spreading dread.
I'm talking about simple venting, really.
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knowbody0
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Wed Sep-07-05 12:29 AM
Response to Reply #12 |
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sorry if it sounded like that. venting is healthy and good.
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Floogeldy
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Wed Sep-07-05 12:05 AM
Response to Original message |
3. All people? Or just some particular persons? |
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I'll check for your answer in a couple of days, hopefully.
;)
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hfojvt
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Wed Sep-07-05 12:11 AM
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6. because if they stuck around |
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they might be in the awkward spot of having to provide emotional or financial or physical support or assistance or say something comforting, and a) they are not that close to you, just being co-workers or Sunday-friends, and/or b) they are at about 97% with their own problems and worries.
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supernova
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Wed Sep-07-05 12:14 AM
Response to Reply #6 |
8. I think you're on to something jfojvt |
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Edited on Wed Sep-07-05 12:30 AM by supernova
I don't usually ask for money. Not ever as a matter of fact.
But just a pat on the back and a word of encouragement here or there would be nice.
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hfojvt
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Wed Sep-07-05 12:58 AM
Response to Reply #8 |
15. there, there. there, there |
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"Don't ever let 'em end the things you do."
In our culture, for most people, touching other people is kinda awkward, except hand-shakes. That is what is so great about pets and toddlers - you get to hold and pet them.
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LaPera
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Wed Sep-07-05 12:29 AM
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KitchenWitch
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Wed Sep-07-05 01:15 AM
Response to Original message |
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If I am down and someone asks me how I am doing, I usually say, "Do you want the honest answer, or do you just want me to say, 'fine'?"
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RedCloud
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Wed Sep-07-05 12:25 PM
Response to Original message |
17. Liars! I read every word of these posts. |
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So write on. That way I can keep my cleanup work procrastinating.
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supernova
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Wed Sep-07-05 12:28 PM
Response to Reply #17 |
19. What is that supposed to mean? |
RedCloud
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Wed Sep-07-05 01:49 PM
Response to Reply #19 |
24. Now we have reversed roles. |
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I am supposed to listen to you. But you want me to explain what I was thinking about as I was mining from the back pages.
I have about two years of work ahead of me, well maybe two days max, but it will take two decades to finish, if I am not finished by then.
I just wanted you to know that there are those who care about their Duers.
But let me reread this thread in case I have a screw loose.
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progmom
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Wed Sep-07-05 12:27 PM
Response to Original message |
supernova
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Wed Sep-07-05 12:29 PM
Response to Reply #18 |
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:hug:
Last night, posting while red-wining. :crazy:
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Left_Winger
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Wed Sep-07-05 12:35 PM
Response to Original message |
21. I know how you feel... I think |
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I receive the same treatment, people ask what bothering me and I tell them, then I receive the "poor, pitiful me" comments from them. So why did they ask in the first place? To make themselves feel superior? Heck, I don't know. On the other hand, the same people will trap me in a corner and vent loudly when I cannot escape.
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supernova
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Wed Sep-07-05 12:41 PM
Response to Reply #21 |
22. You've noticed that phenomenon too? |
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You get labelled a "good listener" and a "solid, loyal friend," but when you seek out the same, those same people don't want to reciprocate.
:scared: OTOH, maybe it's better that they don't.
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Left_Winger
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Wed Sep-07-05 12:57 PM
Response to Reply #22 |
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But this takes place only at work. My co-workers trap me to vent when things don't go their way. Normally, I will usually try to keep my opinions to myself and simply listen. If they ask me what I think, they whine if I don't tell them what they want to hear and claim that I read too much into everything they just said.
Luckily for me my room has been moved to the opposite end of the school and I don't have to endure this anymore.
On the other hand, my true friends (and family) are always there for me. These are the people with whom I actually discuss things and seek support when I need it.
After a few experiences of being open with my co-workers, I learned that I should not, no matter how much the department chair wants us to be a "family".
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