I'm coveting my neighbor's ass

[catmandu57]

and he's the town cop. It's not what you think though, bunch of pervs, he has a little ceramic donkey sitting in the backyard. I see it everyday, it'd look so much better painted red white and blue sitting on our front porch.
I'm tempted to liberate it, but I'm not fond of jails, if I could ever catch them home I'd make an offer. I've dropped hints to the wife that a yard donkey would make the perfect gift, so maybe sandy claws will bring one to me.
Ah well, time to do the dishes and covet the ass.

[Kolesar]

1. Honey, what do you want for Christmas?

"Ass"

[bif]

2. Isn't that one of the ten commandments?

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's ceramic ass?

[bif]

3. Isn't that one of the ten commandments?

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's ceramic ass?

[hlthe2b]

4. Why don't you offer to pay for....

.... your neighbor's (the town cop) ass? :evilgrin:

[radwriter0555]

5. I think you should paint said ass and leave it in his yard... so it

brings you BOTH joy.

You can still covet the ass from afar, but enjoy the colors as well.

Personally, I covet garden gnomes and have liberated quite a few. My home is now a sanctuary for said liberated gnomes.

[xJlM]

12. I used to have a friend who liberated plants

If he saw a big healthy plant on someone's porch, he would come back later that evening and take it home with him.

[9215]

6. Don't confuse an ass

with a donkey. They are very different things. ;)

[sleipnir]

7. I almost but a Burro when I lived in Utah for a summer...

They look like fun animals, I can only imagine what a ceramic pack animal would be like. HI-larious!!! Good luck, you could always replace it with a garden gnome...

[OldSoldier]

8. Two GIs were on patrol

and encountered a dead animal. They started arguing about what it was.

Finally the sergeant came. "Sarge, Private Smith says this is a horse. I say it's a donkey."

The sergeant, being wise in the ways of beasts of burden, said, "no, it's an ass. Now dig a hole and bury it."

They started digging a hole big enough to hold it, when a lieutenant came up. "Soldiers, what are you doing, digging a foxhole?"

The two troops looked at each other for a second. Finally, one said "uhh...no, not quite..."

[Snow]

9. I get to ride my neighbor's mule sometimes.....

Murray the Mule and I go for walks in the San Gabriels.....as long as the walks don't involve getting your hooves wet, Murray's happy.

[4_Legs_Good]

10. Write a Letter to the Editor

of your local paper and explain your problem. I'm sure that will help!

david

[mitchum]

11. I'm coveting my neighbor's girlfriend's ass

I didn't see any warning against that