I am soooo fucked...damn

[bicentennial_baby]

Ok, here's the backstory to my emotional devastation tonight...some of you may remember the bad relationship issues i was having before i went to Paris. Well, i didn't end it with finality until tonight. and it was...so fucking painful. i'm still crying, many hours later. it's not a lack of love, but it's not working and hasn't for quite a while. i'm wrecked.

but, i told him he could have the car, since he's the one moving out (as we speak). now, i have no way to go anywhere, including school. FUCK! i live in a rural area, and a cab is too expensive 2x a day.

so, on top of the fact that i'm devastated, alone, and terrified of the future, i am completely screwed otherwise!

:cry:

sorry for all the crap today, friends :(

[MrScorpio]

1. Bless your generous heart

You were too good for this guy

I'm sure things will work out

[bicentennial_baby]

2. i seriously don't know what to do

i'm shellshocked

[MrScorpio]

5. Is there someone you know from school who can pick you up?

I'd start there

[bicentennial_baby]

7. i just don't know....

we were supposed to be getting another car this month, but now...fuck!

i'm screaming inside my head, and crying on the outside...

[progmom]

3. talk to him

maybe you can figure something out together about the car.

:hug:

[bicentennial_baby]

4. errrr, i don't think so

he's going as far from me as he can...i don't blame him. he's staying up all night packing...sigh. i feel like i'm dying inside...

[progmom]

16. no no. chin up.

you can do this.
you can.
you just made an amazingly positive change in your life.

you can do it.

:grouphug:

[bicentennial_baby]

18. trying to breathe...

i know you're right, i know it.

it'll be easier once he's gone, as much as i hate saying that.

i just gotta breathe and think positive. :)

[progmom]

19. yes.

i had a seriously fucked up day at work. breathing really does help. :)

just remember who you are - you can do amazing things.

[sundog]

6. ok baby

i am the absolute worst person provide advice on any matters of the heart, but still :hug:

[bicentennial_baby]

9. thanks sweetie

i'm just devastated. i feel like my world has been destroyed, and in a way it has. life is gonna be so different from here on out. :(

[NMMNG]

8. I'm sorry you are going through this BB

Relationship breakups are the pits. We're here for you whenever you need us :grouphug: .

Best wishes,
Buffy

[bicentennial_baby]

11. yeah, this is hell

i knew it would be bad, but wow... :wow:

[ghostsofgiants]

10. I have no idea what to say...

So... :hug:

[bicentennial_baby]

12. thanks sweetie

:)

[Gregorian]

13. I'm embarrassed to admit this, but.

I don't know what's better, relationships ending, or not having them at all.

In three months, it will be exactly TWENTY YEARS since I had a relationship. I could have married her. We left on great terms. I just wanted to go to college, and she went to Alaska where she got married a week later. Then I got a job, then I got a piece of property, then, then, then, then. And here I am twenty years older. It's like time was an escalator, and I was walking the wrong way. It's like the world forgot about me.

Take care of yourself. Things will pass faster than you might want.

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

14. Hmmmm, somehow this quote seems to

be sort of telling...

I wonder where I saw it?

I say, follow your bliss and don't be afraid, and doors will open where you didn't know they were going to be.

-Joseph Campbell

Damn. I wish I could remember what website I saw that on>?

Think. Think. Think.

Well, whatever. The cool person who ran that site would not get all worked up over shit like this... small shit.

It's all small shit.

[bicentennial_baby]

17. omg, thanks for the reminder

my blog! my favorite quote! that means a lot tonight....thank you so much :hug:

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

23. Anytime. I have a master's degree in obvious

and a PhD in verisimilitude.

At your service...

:hug:back

[Omphaloskepsis]

15. Sorry, but you know what you have to fix.

Look for solutions to your problems. The heart stuff is messy. But the real life stuff can be fixed.. Spend your energy taking care or the random crap. Being stressed won't fix anything. <--That was shitty -- If you loved me you would pull the beer from my hand and hit me with it. In the face. And, really fucking hard.

[Heidi]

20. Oh, b_b . . .

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Please try to talk with him about this. I've been in a situation where I wanted out so badly that I gave up everything I'd helped accumulate; in retrospect, I think over-generosity is one of the affects of feeling guilty for self-preservation. I hope you can find a way to talk to him and at least hammer out a way for _both_ of you to reasonably survive this break-up.

:hug:

[bicentennial_baby]

21. i think the car's a lost cause

he really needs it, he works 25 minutes away, and he still doesn't know where he's going to live. i'm ok with giving it to him, but i gotta figure stuff out. i've been very dependent on him, too much so. i think it'll be easier once he leaves...sigh.

[grasswire]

22. how about getting a roommate who has a car?

Obviously, there's room for two.

I guess there's always the bicycle for temporary transportation.

[Demonaut]

24. hang in there, just keep active eat right and try not to dwell

and when you're feeling it a little harder take a long shower:hug:

[BikeWriter]

25. Well hell, I've been there done that before...

I rode out on the scoot with a change of clothes in the saddlebags once. When I came back for my truck and furniture she'd sold everything. It was three years before I could afford to buy another car. You'll make it.