Mormonized Pastafarianism???

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

Here I was, looking for websites dedicated to Our Glorious Creator (Cheese be upon it), when in one of the most obvious URLs...

http://noodlyappendage.com

...I find this:

Welcome to the Church of Latter-Day Noodlism. Our membership has accepted the divine intervention of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and accepts Him as the guiding force in our lives.

While we are devoted followers of our divine Creator, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, our church differs from the Pastafarians, whom we believe mistranslated the original sacred texts. The closest and most accurate translation was made later by Joseph Smith when he used desiccated meatballs to decipher pasta-colored tablets left by the profit Macaroni (translated improperly as “Moroni” in the Book of Mormon).

[ZombieNixon]

1. HOW DARE THEY?!!!!!

Macaronists are NOT true Pastafarians. The Book of Rigatoni is the FINAL book off the Sacred Cookbook. The Dead Seafood Scrolls are a FRAUD! This is just the first of many attemps to insinuate that Our Creator the Flying Spaghetti Monster is a Flying Macaroni Monster. We already face a similar thread from Martin Lumache, who insists Our Creator is composed of linguini. There is ONE Pastafarian Church, the TRUE, Canneloni Pastafarian Church, and as Lord High Supreme Senior Cardinal of the 312/773 area code, I reserve the right to excommunicate and expel any heretics living in the greater Chicago area! You have been warned.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

2. Excommunicate? Expel?

No wonder heretics abound. Our High Priests have gone soft (when they should be al dente). Let's massacre them.

[ZombieNixon]

3. I'm only a cardinal

The FSMPope must first declare a crusade before the massacre can begin.

[sakabatou]

4. No, please

The world has experieced too many crusades already. Would the Creator be happy if we ragu? No. Teh Creator would want peace.

[trof]

5. How many wives do you get?

That would be a consideration.
-Brother Bucatini

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

6. It it's the ones from the stripper factory, I'm in. (nt)