How can I get a date with Britney Spears?

[struggle4progress]

I put a personal in the local paper:

"Slightly overweight male, temporarily unemployed due to a silly misunderstanding at my last job -- but this is a good thing because it now I have time to sort out my mid-life crisis -- with hardly any arrest record and almost no history of mental illness, seeks very mature wealthy woman 18-25 for passionate friendship and discussions about Federal Reserve policy. Don't hang up if someone answers the phone "Speedy Mart" -- I spend a lot of time there."

I think Britney hasn't responded, though it's possible the Speedy Mart didn't take a message.

What now? Should I try to get a job mowing her lawn?

[WCGreen]

1. Either that.....

Or maybe cleaning her pool....

I hear that is really the way to go...

Didn't you ever see Joe the Pool Boy.... On Maximus Erectus Video....

[struggle4progress]

2. I didn't know she played pool. But I usually don't clean up when I play ..

.. because I can't get enough chalk on the cue.

[WCGreen]

3. I hate when that happens.....

[Iris]

4. well, if you could get another woman pregnant , she might date

you while the other woman gestates.

[struggle4progress]

5. You are very smart that sounds like an unusual approach I bet she ..

.. will be amazed if I try it so I am guess on my way to being rich and famous

[Iris]

6. I think you should impress her with your tooth pick gathering abilities!

[struggle4progress]

8. Yes there is a talent that makes many people think I am special

:)

[ghostsofgiants]

7. Try emulating Cletus from The Simpsons as closely as possible

[struggle4progress]

9. Thank you for this excellent suggestion! I am on a roll now!