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Horse with no Name Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 12:47 PM
Original message
Ladies..someone needs to grab this guy up
Edited on Thu Sep-15-05 12:48 PM by Horse with no Name
:rofl::rofl::rofl:

http://personals.yahoo.com/preview/preview?view=1&adid=personals-1100959326-303250&ss=1&m=2

>>>>>>>>snip
Just looking for friends.maybe more but don't push, that drive me off QUICK
i love to dance,grill,go to lake with my daughter(s).
I want a WOMAN that can supply all a man needs & can handle a man give'n a woman her needs.
I am a real person with real feelings, i tend to be a very outspoken person.so wotever it is you wanna know..ASK!!
I speak my mind. butt also respect & expect respect.
Honest, careing, romantic.
i am not jelous & don't like jelous attitudes..BIG TURN-OFF..TRUST IS WHERE ITS AT..
i have my 2 lil girls..want to have a son.
but to be a candidate..you gotta love kids (mainly mine) cuz they my heart & soul. they are "the boss" lol (figure of speech)but if they don't like ya..UR OUTTA THERE!!!
So if you think wot I got is wot you need!
Message me;)


Just think, you too can be dragged to THIS guy's cave tonight,lol.
But hey, someone could tell the guy to use spellcheck!;)
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SteppingRazor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 12:50 PM
Response to Original message
1. Also funny is what the guy's looking for in a match...
Basically, anything within 25 miles of Paris, TX, that doesn't have a penis.

But all of this kinda begs a question, Horse -- what're you doing trolling the yahoo personals, anyway? ;)
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Horse with no Name Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 12:52 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. Too funny
For some reason, they show up in my yahoo mail box.
I guess they want to sell their services to me.
I rarely look, but after the heaviness of the past couple weeks, I sure needed some laughs.:)
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rkc3 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 12:55 PM
Response to Reply #1
6. Give-em a break. Trolling the personals is some of the best fun you could
ever have. Considering what's been going on around the world, we should all take a trip there and have a good laugh.

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villager Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 12:51 PM
Response to Original message
2. Well, I like it that his kids are really important to him.
n/t
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BlueJazz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 12:53 PM
Response to Original message
4. I'm a Guy but to me, he comes across as a would-be....
Edited on Thu Sep-15-05 12:57 PM by BlueJazz
.. dominating prick.
If you truly want a sense of where he's at, just imagine if a Lady ran such an Ad....

ON EDIT: Now that I think about it..His statement "If you don't like them/it You're out-a-here" is and shows that he's extremely "Combative" even before the first meeting..AAGG..Fuck um.
(Well, actually..DON'T fuck him!)
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Fridays Child Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 12:54 PM
Response to Original message
5. What special hell is this?
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Horse with no Name Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 12:56 PM
Response to Reply #5
7. eegads
Edited on Thu Sep-15-05 12:57 PM by Horse with no Name
:yoiks:
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rkc3 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 12:58 PM
Response to Reply #5
13. That's a purty mullet.
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ropi Donating Member (948 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-16-05 12:10 AM
Response to Reply #13
56. i don't know what . . .
was more offensive..the upholstery on that sofa or that mullet! eek!
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crispini Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 01:10 PM
Response to Reply #5
23. Eeeeeeeek!
This part's funny:

About My Match
Location:Within 25 miles of Paris, TX

Age: 18 - 45

Marital Status:Any

Body Type:Slim, Slender, Average, Athletic, Fit, A few extra pounds

Height:3' 0" - 7' 11"

Eyes:Any

Hair:Any

Ethnicity:Asian, Caucasian (white), Hispanic/Latino, Native American

Sense of Humor:Any

Social Setting:Any

TV Watching:Any

Personality Type:Any

Love Style:Any

Smoking:Any

Drinking:Any

Living Situation:Any

Have Kids:Any

Want (more) kids:Yes

Education:Any

Employment Status:Full-time, Part-time, Homemaker, Retired, Self-employed, Student, Work at home

Occupation:Any

Income:Any

Religion:Any

Attend Services:Any

Political Views:Any

Astrology:Any

Languages:Any

Interests:Any
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DemocratSinceBirth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 01:18 PM
Response to Reply #23
31. The Only Thing He Excluded Was African American Females
As if one would have him...
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Catherine Vincent Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 02:05 PM
Response to Reply #23
38. So he seeks every ethnicity except African American.
Probably a republican.
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Horse with no Name Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 03:15 PM
Response to Reply #23
41. 3'0 tall?
Who'd qualify for that?
:scared:
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crispini Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 03:53 PM
Response to Reply #41
50. Midgets and Amazons equally welcome!
:rofl:
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enid602 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-16-05 01:18 AM
Response to Reply #5
67. soiled
Did anybody happen to notice the heavily soiled sofa upholstery? Got, I hope his briefs didn't leave those stains.
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Rude Horner Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 12:56 PM
Response to Original message
8. Is it signed, George W. Bush?
He likes to grill. Can't spell very well. Is a total dickwad. Etc.... :rofl:
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enid602 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 12:57 PM
Response to Original message
9. GWB
Don't you recognize the author? Poor diction? 2 pushy daughters? I wonder if Laura knows that George is steppin' out.
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jobycom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 01:02 PM
Response to Reply #9
17. Like Bush would remember he has two daughters.
He hasn't seen them since the convention, and even there he forgot which was which!
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Debau2005 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 12:57 PM
Response to Original message
10. Sorry.
I don't ask much but I do ask that a man be able to use spell check!
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Horse with no Name Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 12:58 PM
Response to Reply #10
12. Maybe we are just jelous.
:shrug:
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Debau2005 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 12:59 PM
Response to Reply #12
14. haha
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
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patrice Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 12:57 PM
Response to Original message
11. Why don't they just say, "I want a WOMAN who will do any sexual
act I might want & can handle every sexual act I might decide to try on her"? - not that there is anything necessarily wrong with that. It's just clearer, more honest.

Otherwise, besides the spelling, he doesn't seem such a bad guy to me.
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Horse with no Name Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 01:00 PM
Response to Reply #11
15. Maybe it's just me
But the whole undertone is very misogynist.
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DemocratSinceBirth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 01:07 PM
Response to Reply #11
20. I Didn't See Where His Ideal Mate Had To Be Pansexual
nt
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patrice Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 01:15 PM
Response to Reply #20
29. That depends upon how he defines "needs".
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DemocratSinceBirth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 01:33 PM
Response to Reply #29
33. I See It Now...
......
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Skittles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 01:00 PM
Response to Original message
16. I SPEAK MY MIND TOO............BUTT...........
:D
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jobycom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 01:03 PM
Response to Original message
18. Why ya'll picken on me, I'm tryin'!
:cry:
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Horse with no Name Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 01:07 PM
Response to Reply #18
21. Two words of advice
Haircut and Spellcheck.
;)
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jobycom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 01:12 PM
Response to Reply #21
26. Wot's rong with my speeling?
Or my hair? :cry: I got good kids!
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wellstone_democrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-16-05 12:11 AM
Response to Reply #21
57. one more word: pants
definitely pants.
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Cleita Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 01:06 PM
Response to Original message
19. There is that perfect woman out there. Rush Limbaugh marries them
all the time, but he's better have lot's of money.
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Horse with no Name Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 01:09 PM
Response to Reply #19
22. What is REALLY the funniest thing of all
in this area...this guy is a prize.:wow:
Understand why I don't date.:)
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Cleita Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 02:44 PM
Response to Reply #22
40. I know what you mean.
I didn't date much either for that reason until I met my then future husband.
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Maddy McCall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-16-05 12:27 AM
Response to Reply #22
62. NO SHIT! LOLOL!
I know that area. :D
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mcscajun Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 01:11 PM
Response to Original message
24. Translation: I want a woman who'll put up with just about ANYthing
I want to try on her, but no matter what, she's gotta realize she is second to my kids. She must reckon on doing all the freakin' work 'round this place, not ask too many questions, especially about that waitress I wuz flirtin' with last night. Top o' ma list: she'd better know who is the Boss 'round here, and oh yeah...she'd better gimme a son right quick! Or I can chuck her ass back on the street.

Yup...I bet the wimmen are jus' beatin' a path to his door...uh-huh.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
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DemocratSinceBirth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 01:11 PM
Response to Original message
25. I'll Bet He's A Republican
nt
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jobycom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 01:13 PM
Response to Reply #25
28. A Republican who puts his kids first? Maybe, but he'd be the cream of the
crop if he is.

That's like saying the piece of cow dung with the best smell, though.
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theHandpuppet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 01:12 PM
Response to Original message
27. He needs Ann Coulter's email addy
Sounds like her kind of man.
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in_cog_ni_to Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 01:15 PM
Response to Original message
30. Hmmmm....the guy needs spellcheck, needs grammar lessons,
and just ain't my type. 2 little girls bossing me around? I DON'T THINK SO. ;) I wonder what happens when his new woman gives him a daughter and not a son? Keep on birthin' until he gets it right?:eyes:

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LeftyMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-16-05 12:01 AM
Response to Reply #30
54. probably
Edited on Fri Sep-16-05 12:01 AM by LeftyMom
My asshole stepbrother fathered five kids on threee different women (needless to say he's waaaaaaaaaaaay behind on his child support) to get the girl he wanted. As soon as she was born healthy he made an appointment to get snipped.

He and the winner above could be two of a kind, except that at least yahoo personals guy is actually raising his kids.
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cynatnite Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 01:29 PM
Response to Original message
32. How big is the cave?
Does he drag the women to his cave or carry them over his shoulder?

These are the important questions millions of women are asking.

:sarcasm:
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Debau2005 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 01:42 PM
Response to Original message
34. Perhaps
Someone should let him know that there are international sites where he might be able find what he "wants" in exchange for a Green Card!!

Not that I would wish him on any woman in the world!! YIKES...
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skypilot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 01:56 PM
Response to Original message
35. This part is really, REALLY creepy:
Edited on Thu Sep-15-05 01:56 PM by skypilot
& can handle a man give'n a woman her needs.

He's going to give her her needs? As he sees them? Kinda sounds like, "When I want your opinion I'll give it to you".
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calico1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 01:58 PM
Response to Reply #35
36. I thought beatings might be involved too.
After all, some women need that, you know.:eyes:
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skypilot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 02:07 PM
Response to Reply #36
39. I'm always apprehensive...
...of any ad where the person expects you to be able to "handle" them. Seems to me that they are admitting that they need "handling". Like a wild animal.
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MsTryska Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 03:44 PM
Response to Reply #35
47. i dunno.....
i thought that was code for "I eat the muff".


but maybe that's just me.
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Guaranteed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 03:48 PM
Response to Reply #35
49. I think that's his attempt at seduction. nt
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 02:01 PM
Response to Original message
37. Well, at least he's not jelous...or wotever.
Redstone
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txindy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 03:19 PM
Response to Reply #37
42. "butt also respect & expect respect"
Apparently his butt gives and expects respect. What a prodigy! :crazy:
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Binka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 03:36 PM
Response to Reply #42
43. Ass Respect What More Could I Ask For?
Long ago and in a galaxy far away I actually placed a singles ad on Love AOL. My computer fried the mother board the responses were so bizarre and inane. These people do exist and they do not know how fucking insane they are.
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Horse with no Name Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 03:40 PM
Response to Reply #43
45. I hear ya
What is REALLY bad...this guy was the cream of the crop in what they sent.:rofl:
Personally I have decided after my last few romantic endeavors that I prefer my cats.:)
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Iris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 03:57 PM
Response to Reply #43
51. yet they wonder why the are still single.
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HughBeaumont Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 03:40 PM
Response to Original message
44. Ah wawnts me sum bitches what do anal!
Ah kick ass fer breakfast!
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librechik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 03:42 PM
Response to Original message
46. 2 girls not a good sign
that means no female orgasm during conception.

just sayin!
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MsTryska Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 03:45 PM
Response to Reply #46
48. you are brilliant!
*lmao*
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politicat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-16-05 12:32 AM
Response to Reply #46
63. Where did you get that bit of nonsense?
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Catherine Vincent Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 09:51 PM
Response to Original message
52. Kick!
For the night crew. :-)
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Horse with no Name Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-15-05 11:53 PM
Response to Reply #52
53. yeah
wouldn't want them to miss out on this prize.
:rofl:
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wellstone_democrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-16-05 12:05 AM
Response to Original message
55. I like a man who can spell
call me crazy but that's one of the many things that sold me on my husband---his command of his native language!
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Bouncy Ball Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-16-05 12:13 AM
Response to Original message
58. The photo collage with his daughters and the Cowboys helmets
is killing me.

?psYhlKDBCdNQXbd9

I just wonder who the hell reproduced with him twice. Shit.
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wellstone_democrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-16-05 12:16 AM
Response to Reply #58
59. oh. my. god
insane! And, you know he has that in a frame in his living room. You just know he does.

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Bouncy Ball Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-16-05 12:19 AM
Response to Reply #59
60. No, it's in the kitchenette.
As for "snapping this guy up" if I were single, I'd rather live out the rest of my natural days as celibate as a rock than be with him. I'd rather live in a fucking tree house with nothing but a potted cactus to keep me company, if that's my choice.

Shudder. Think I'll go stare at my sleeping husband and thank God he's mine.

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wellstone_democrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-16-05 12:43 AM
Response to Reply #60
64. Amen
from beginning to end of your post I'm in agreement!
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OmmmSweetOmmm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-16-05 12:26 AM
Response to Original message
61. I'm surprised he didn't advertise for a broodmare.
i have my 2 lil girls..want to have a son.
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Hello_Kitty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-16-05 12:53 AM
Response to Original message
65. 'i have my 2 lil girls..want to have a son.'
Wouldn't want that name to die out would we? :eyes:
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Gnostic Donating Member (269 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-16-05 01:00 AM
Response to Original message
66. Well...
I don't blame the guy at all for some of the things he says.

Firstly, that he seems to deeply care about his kids, and won't put his social life over them or anyone else. Good for him.

He also wants someone who will be willing to satisfy his "needs" and visa versa. What's wrong with that? Should he molly-coddle the issue? I like the honesty frankly lol.

Thirdly, he won't tolerate jealousy or a suffocating woman. Good for him. I've had a relationship like that before and believe me it sux. I don't blame the guy for stating right from the get that he does'nt want a co-dependant psycho. He gets another nod from me.

Sure, he does'nt seem like you atypical intelligentsia, but he seems honest, open and knows what he wants and cares for his kids. I suppose there's alot worse qualities the guy could have, dontcha think?
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Lethe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-16-05 01:58 AM
Response to Original message
68. i dont really see the sport in this....
how do you know this is a bad guy? yeah, granted, he looks like an idiot redneck. At least he loves his kids, geez.

You guys need to get a life.

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