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Funny story about a girl who is completely inept in the kitchen....

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WeRQ4U Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-16-05 10:34 AM
Original message
Funny story about a girl who is completely inept in the kitchen....
THis is a story about a girl that I know as told to me by her husband. Ok, this girl is completely out of place and "all thumbs" in the kitchen. Her husband does all of the cooking because she is incapable of doing anything. He doesn't even let her help him. It's that bad. She can't do ANYTHING. GOt it? Ok.

Well the husband had to work both of his jobs one day and this girl had to fend for herself for a night. SHe called him to ask him what she should do. He thought for a little bit about what he could propose that would be really easy for her to do. He finally said that he had a couple chicken breasts in the fridge from the night before and that if she put one of them between cellophane, pounded it with the tenderizer and put it on the Forman Grill for about 10 minutes, she could have a sandwich. He figured it was the Forman Grill, how the hell could you dick that up?

Well he came home and realized that she had been cooking, because the house did smell like chicken. HOwever, when he went into the kitchen and say the Forman Grill, he realized that something was amiss. The entire grill was covered with grease and fat and water and EVERYTHING. He called her into the Kitchen and asked her what had happened. She said nothing had happened, but that he was full of crap about it only taking 10 minutes to cook. At that point he realized what she had done. He opened up the Forman Grill and it was spotless. He turned to her and said "YOU COOKED IT IN THE BUN WARMER!!!"

She said she had, indeed, cooked it in the little blue plastic area on TOP of the Forman, normally used to heat up bread and buns. It took her an HOUR to cook the chicken and even then she said that it tasted "funny." She said that black part inside the grill looked more like a "grill" but that because her Forman was a newer model, that maybe it was a new way of doing things. LOL.

I thought this story was funny and thought I would pass it along. Hope you like it.

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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-16-05 10:36 AM
Response to Original message
1. That's not an inability to cook, it's outright stupidity.
Seriously, this woman is dumb. I hope you're not the husband
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WeRQ4U Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-16-05 10:39 AM
Response to Reply #1
2. Oh hell no. My wife is a great cook. But actually, the woman is NOT dumb.
Edited on Fri Sep-16-05 10:39 AM by WeRQ4U
She a friggin' pharmacist for christ's sake. She just has no kitchen common sense, if there is such a thing.
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BigMcLargehuge Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-16-05 10:40 AM
Response to Reply #2
3. she needs to take 10 MG of instructions
twice a day, every day, before eating.

no refills.
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WeRQ4U Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-16-05 10:50 AM
Response to Reply #3
8. Clever....
:)

And I agree.
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-16-05 10:41 AM
Response to Reply #2
4. Wait, I just figured it out
It's the old "do everything so unbelievably badly that nobody ever asks you to do it again" routine
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Hugin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-16-05 10:45 AM
Response to Reply #4
7. Good catch DS1!
Almost got past us.
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WeRQ4U Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-16-05 10:52 AM
Response to Reply #4
9. If that's the plan, then it sounds like it's working...
And this latest episode probably sealed the deal too. She will not be expected to cook anything, ever again.

My question is, however, how you can possbly reach adulthood without the slightest idea of how to cook for yourself. You'd think that she would have starved to death by now.
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-16-05 10:54 AM
Response to Reply #9
10. Or died from thinking that she could make a Mexican sushi dish
like raw tacos
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WeRQ4U Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-16-05 11:07 AM
Response to Reply #10
11. Give her puffer fish and a dull knife...........perfect crime..
;-)
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Hugin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-16-05 10:44 AM
Response to Original message
5. Dang, even I know how to cook chicken.
I throw it in the communal cooking fire.

Pull it out and stomp on it a couple of times...

Bona poteet!

:)

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Draill Donating Member (360 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-16-05 10:45 AM
Response to Original message
6. I once had a friend ask me how to make
yeast. Some people just aren't kitchen savvy.
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SOteric Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-16-05 01:13 PM
Response to Reply #6
12. Yeah, I have a friend who once buttered her toast
before she put it in the toaster and burnt her kitchen down.

And she's a brilliant database tech and a financial wunderkind. She just really ought never to be allowed to apply heat to food.
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