OK...my first Lounge post...

[catnhatnh]

...I LOVE translations of instructions from Chinese...especially when they suck! From the first time I read that "to lubricate the parts is a very maintenance activity" I was hooked.
So imagine my delight with THIS purchase-a package of blue dye/deodorant tablets to be placed in my toilet, purchased from a local "dollar" store:

1. can cleanout the dirt, incrustations of closes tool (the edge part of the basin, inside, inner walls, and all parts even the whole water system.
2.each time the blue comes out can make the great cleanliness function.
3.spread the fresh fragrance, eliminate the bad smell, keep the fresh sweetness smell.
4.in the normal condition, can use more than one month.

1.dilacerate the bright plastic box.
2.put in the water tank, can be disolved in water.
3.close the water tank, about 10 minutes,will have great function.

1.keep away from children,without using the crack basin.
2.be affected by hot water and rigidity water.

There it is,the full instructions,verbatim, and I doubt I've ever enjoyed a dollar purchase more.Top me or don't-buy them, trade them, collect them-the literature of the future...enjoy!

Edited to add a space between what appeared to be a run on word...they don't need my help...

[Guy Fawkes]

1. wow...

you should photograph that for www.engrish.com

[LynzM]

2. Nice one!

That's hysterical... what the heck is 'dilacerate'? De-lacerate? Put back together?

I assume you've memorized www.engrish.com by this point ;)

[catnhatnh]

6. 2 post,Both Engrish....

and no but I'm going there soon....I ASSUME it means "open the package"...but give me YOUR best take....

[LynzM]

8. Yeah, that's what I assume, too

Make sure you're not drinking anything when you visit Engrish... you may ruin your keyboard :)

[merwin]

9. I was just going to recommend that site.

hilarious

[Stinky The Clown]

32. Shouldn't that be 'hirarious'?

[merwin]

39. Hehe. Thanks for the laugh :-)

[TroubleMan]

22. I love that site; I got my own Engrish story from when I lived in Okinawa:

I was at a Karaoke bar, and instead of Blondie's "Heart of Glass," it had "Heart of Grass."

[southlandshari]

3. LOL - great first Lounge post!

And welcome!! I had about as many posts as you did before I ventured in here! It is a great place to unwind - just ignore the stuff that makes no sense to you (some people unwind a lot weirder than others!).

:hi:

[catnhatnh]

10. Thanks Shari...

...I just read the instructions and the humor overwhelmed me.Its late here in the Northeast and I had to share...I hadn't been here before but hoped humor was appropriate here and the replies tell me, yep-RIGHT PLACE...again thanks..

[southlandshari]

11. You are most welcome, darlin'!

And believe me, your first Lounge post is faring far better than mine did (or my second, or third, or fourth - but I kept coming back, and eventually wore the Lounge folks down and they started posting back!)

Just tell me this...what the heck is a crack basin?

:rofl:

[catnhatnh]

12. My first thought was....

...very much like Crocodile Dundeee's (Paul Hogan's) take on "two dunnys" in the bathroom...or am I wrong?
Edited: to reflect that he said "to wash your backside,right?"

[salin]

4. only two ways to react

with humour (this is quite funny)

or frustration. Frankly my older mother who is flustered by technical explanations (the booklets that come with electronics) would find this frustrating enough to give up.

[anarch]

5. haha!

"keep away from children,without using the crack basin"

[LaraMN]

7. That's really fucking funny!

How do I "dilacerate" something? That's some fine entertainment for a dollar.

[spacelady]

13. Some one told me that the instructions on a curling iron

warned against inserting it into any orifices.
I wonder who was the doofus who prompted this warning!

[KyndCulture]

15. Well that's one for captain obvious. nt.

[WCGreen]

14. Have great function In Lounge.........

Crack Basin available, no harm children.....

[auntAgonist]

16. hilarious!! Great thread. Recommended too!!

thanks .. and welcome to DU, I've not seen you before.

:hi:

:yourock:

[catnhatnh]

17. Thanks

...I normally hang out in the "more serious" forums and have only been at DU for less than a year..but this is both my first Lounge post and my first recommendation...GEE, I'm blushing here...
...edited to add...I didn't even know a lounge post COULD be recommended...

[SoCalDem]

18. Serious forums get tedious sometimes..Gotta unwind and kick back

welcome:)

[catnhatnh]

19. If this be blasphemy...

...make the most of it???

[southlandshari]

20. Thanks for doing that - I just recommended it too!

:hi:

[catnhatnh]

23. Shari...

...I got more recommends by mistake than on purpose....go figure

[southlandshari]

24. Just enjoy it!

And keep coming back to the Lounge!

AND keep going back to GD - no matter what anyone around here says - and LBN, and GDP, and all the other great forums here! DU is such a fantastic and diverse community, isn't it?

:D

[bridgit]

21. hm, seems turnabout IS fair play, "Coke Adds Life" translated into...

'coke brings back your dead ancestors' :rofl: when launched on the mainland. welcome to the lounge, catnhatnh :thumbsup:

:hi: :kick: :patriot:

[catnhatnh]

25. And the Chevy Nova...

..in spanish translates into "no va" or " it doesn't go"....sold much better in spanish speaking countries when they renamed it the Chevy "Caribe"...

[bridgit]

26. proof again, madison ave. ad execs can in no way justify...

their exorbitant salaries in that their one-size-fits-all, jingle-istic 'product' is in no way transferable on a global, or universal scale

[catnhatnh]

27. Shameless morning self kick....

...cuz it STILL looks funny-even sober...

[ralps]

28. Great post catnhatnh, one more recommendation and it will be on the

greatest page. :hi: :loveya: :hug: :pals: :woohoo:

[catnhatnh]

29. Thanks and hugs....n/t

[Arugula Latte]

31. I'll do it.

It's his first Lounge post, and all. (I ruffle catnhatnh's hair condescendingly.)

[catnhatnh]

30. Selfish final self kick...N/t

[bigwillq]

33. Welcome to the Lounge!

:hi:

[many a good man]

34. I hope you don't actually use it in your tank

It'll erode the rubber seal and give you a constantly-leaking toilet. In other words:

1. It dilacerates the rubber closes tool in the water tank
2. each time the blue come out make the great leakiness function

Then its time for the crack basin!

[dalaigh lllama]

35. I need some of that rigidity water

for my drink. :beer:

[daninthemoon]

36. Sounds kinda like some recent state of the union addresses.

[Gregorian]

37. Well, that's it.--back to the dollar store I go!

That IS THE BEST EVER. Brilliant. Thanks for sharing.

...Now where did my crack basin go?...

[Verve]

38. Send to Jay Leno for his Monday night headlines segment..

If he doesn't use it there, he'll likely use it for his segment that finds similar screw ups at the dollar store.

[KitchenWitch]

40. Right on!

Love it