God CAPTION America

[underpants]

[underpants]

1. Here is the church, here is the steeple, I'm off the court of the people

:bounce:

[everythingsxen]

2. "Here's the church...

here's the steeple.. how's the rest of it go?"

[wysimdnwyg]

6. In his mind, it's more like...

"Here's the court, here's the steeple..."

[CanuckAmok]

3. "...open the doors, and here are the people..."

"tiny, little rightous people, on God's mighty right hand. Look at them curl into a fist and SMITE the heathens! SMITE! SMITE! SMITE! Now who's the people, huh? I'm talkin' to you, other peoples' fingers!..."

[maddezmom]

4. was that today?

:)

[underpants]

5. Yep

:bounce:

[Bronco69]

7. "If people say I look and talk like Gomer Pyle

one more time, I'll pray even harder for them to be smitten!

[commander bunnypants]

12. Shazamm

DDQM

[CanuckAmok]

8. or...

"...hmmm...well...Random House is offering more points, but only half a million up front, while Putnam is ofering a smaller percentage per copy, but one mill in advance. Hmmm...It all boils down to how many of my supporters are able to read..."

[cosmicdot]

9. Judge Roy is thinking: verily, I don't knoweth where thou art thinketh

... me out of toucheth ... doest I looketh like someone out of toucheth with the times, or a rednecketh or a kooketh? It canst be so that the people believeth this, yet, verily, here cometh my condemnation ...

[skip fox]

10. Moore is "thinking": "Now I'm going to let them have it full

blast! I'll get up there and rake them over the coals with quotes from Isaiah, Jeremiah, and Ezekiel! I'll having them pissing in there pants with the fear of God. They'll be calling on the mountains to cover their filthy hides, before I get done. They ain't kick me out without me laying abit of the Old Testament on their asses. I just got to remember to let the photographer get a lot of good shots that I can use in my campaign for governer. You bet . . . I'm a feelin' righteous as hell."

[BigMcLargehuge]

11. SPIRITS OF DARKNESS! Smite these foul infidels!!!

Bring down your viscious wrath upon them! I call on you Beelzebub, to imbue me with the power to strike down all who oppose your will!

[Drifter]

13. Simon says ...

point both fingers at the man who is worshipping graven images.

Judge No-Moore, you win.

Cheers
Drifter

[Fenris]

14. The Right Honorable Justice Moore is "thinking":

"Okay. I lost to the circuit court. Then I lost to the appellate court. Then I defied the court order. Then the justices suspended me and removed the monument. Now I've lost my job. Alright, well. God's reasons aren't always known to us. Think of Job. God was a downright a-hole and never apologized for it. And He did let his son die. Granted it was for our sins. Come to think about it, He's a major a-hole. In fact, if I wasn't such a dedicated follower I might be apt to curse his name. But I won't.

Oh, fuck it. Looks like I've been barking up the wrong tree. Time to convert."

[cosmicdot]

15. Verdict: Roy Moore, since you want to live by the book, you are hereby

sentenced to bring the bullock unto the door of the tabernacle of the congregation and shall lay your hand upon the bullock's head, and kill the bullock and, then, dip your finger in the blood, and sprinkle of the blood seven times and shall burn them upon the altar of the burnt offering ... And the skin of the bullock, and all his flesh, with his head, and with his legs, and his inwards, and his dung ... etc. etc.