VolcanoJen
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Sun Sep-25-05 02:16 AM
Original message |
Hi, I'm Jennifer, and I purchased my first National Enquirer today. |
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Edited on Sun Sep-25-05 02:17 AM by VolcanoJen
Chorus: Hi, Jennifer!
Long line at the grocery, so I reached over to the tabloid rack and flipped through the Enquirer. Got to the Bush Drunk page and feigned suprise, acted shocked and riveted.
Oh, it was such fun.
The woman behind me seemed a little pissed. I kept reading, saying, "Ohh!" and "Ahh! Poor Laura!" Out loud. I cracked myself up, but hey, it was Saturday, I was at the grocery, and what better to do in an endless que than entertain yourself and others?
I never had any intention to buy it, but I felt obligated after the $2.50 worth of entertainment. :-)
Help me...
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KitchenWitch
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Sun Sep-25-05 02:17 AM
Response to Original message |
1. There is still hope for you |
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admitting it is just the beginning....
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VolcanoJen
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Sun Sep-25-05 02:20 AM
Response to Reply #1 |
2. The woman behind me was kind of weird, though. |
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When not enduring the pain of The Great Leader's fall off the wagon, I noticed that she was purchasing nothing but Redi-Rice. That Rice-a-Roni in a nukeable packge. That, and Kit-Kat bars. Like, 20 Kit-Kat bars.
People are fun to watch.
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WCGreen
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Sun Sep-25-05 02:29 AM
Response to Reply #2 |
6. What the fuck is wrong with Kit Kat Bars and Rice a roni.... |
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Damn, that is good stuff....
I had a woman, about 60, in front of me the other day was buying all those Michalene ready made meals, and two six packs of some kind of vodka drink......
Ah, good times....
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VolcanoJen
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Sun Sep-25-05 02:33 AM
Response to Reply #6 |
7. Oh hell yeh, it's good stuff.. but... |
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Edited on Sun Sep-25-05 02:52 AM by VolcanoJen
When that's all you have... 10 bags of Readi-Roni and 20 Kit-Kat Bars?
Not weird?
ETA: Forgot to add.. "Heeeeey, Michealina!"
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WCGreen
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Sun Sep-25-05 02:33 AM
Response to Reply #7 |
8. Well, pot makes people buy crazy stuff....... |
VolcanoJen
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Sun Sep-25-05 02:36 AM
Response to Reply #8 |
10. I should've thought of that... |
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... but she didn't seem the type.
Pretty soon, no more Readi-Roni or Sudafed for you!!
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WCGreen
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Sun Sep-25-05 02:38 AM
Response to Reply #10 |
11. My BIL is a phsychatrist.... |
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He buy the Enquirer for sniks and to also see what some of his patients are talking about.....
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fujiyama
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Sun Sep-25-05 04:39 AM
Response to Reply #2 |
17. Hey she coulda been buyin Haloween candy over a month early |
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Edited on Sun Sep-25-05 04:40 AM by fujiyama
or maybe she had the munchies.
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Crazy Guggenheim
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Sun Sep-25-05 02:22 AM
Response to Original message |
3. Don't give me any ideas. I might go buy one ....... that is when |
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no one else is at the counter .....
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VolcanoJen
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Sun Sep-25-05 02:25 AM
Response to Reply #3 |
4. Oh, have a little fun! |
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The Bush story is in the top right-hand of the cover sheet.
Fake a double-take at the checkout line, reach for the copy, search frantically for the Bush Drinks story, and pretend to be shocked and dismayed.
Cheaper than a movie ticket, watching the reaction, and you've got time to kill in the grocery que, anyway.
I'm so totally worried about Renee Zelwegger and Kenny Chesney, though. :rofl:
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NewJeffCT
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Sun Sep-25-05 08:30 AM
Response to Reply #4 |
19. damn, just got back from the grocery store... |
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I didn't even think of it... but, I guess my caffeine had not kicked in yet.
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Parrcrow
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Sun Sep-25-05 02:25 AM
Response to Original message |
5. My name is something like Parrcrow |
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was there anything about me in there?
The enquirer costs $2.50 !!?!
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VolcanoJen
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Sun Sep-25-05 02:34 AM
Response to Reply #5 |
9. Oh, hell, it's probably more than that. Hold on, let me look... |
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Yep. $2.99.
Why do you hate me so, Parrcrow? :+
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Parrcrow
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Sun Sep-25-05 02:38 AM
Response to Reply #9 |
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You know that. I'll say it again anyway, You're adorable!!
:loveya: :pals:
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VolcanoJen
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Sun Sep-25-05 02:45 AM
Response to Reply #12 |
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:hug: :hug:
Thanks for being so supportive in my post-Enquirer-purchasing recovery.
'Spos? Seriously? Gotta love the faithful. :-)
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Parrcrow
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Sun Sep-25-05 03:12 AM
Response to Reply #13 |
14. the expos avatar is unique on here |
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and the logo is fading from memory
je me souvier (I Remember ) don't know about the spelling though.
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darkenedhalo
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Sun Sep-25-05 04:06 AM
Response to Original message |
15. sounds like a deal to me |
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You have to get your entertainment where you can and at $2.50 thats dirt cheap.
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jmm
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Sun Sep-25-05 04:23 AM
Response to Original message |
16. I'd believe the Enquirer before I believed Fox news |
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and most of the main stream media. For years now the difference between journalism and tabloids has been vanishing so I wouldn't feel guilty if I were you.
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peacefreak
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Sun Sep-25-05 08:28 AM
Response to Original message |
18. You are powerless with this. |
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First you start with a little National Enquirer, then the next thing you know you're reading the National Examiner. It's almost the same thing, right? Then you just need more. So it's The Globe & the articles about two-headed Martian babies spawned by Hilary. Jen, you seemed like such a nice, literate person. Stop now. THINK OF THE CHILDREN!
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GreenPartyVoter
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Sun Sep-25-05 08:58 AM
Response to Original message |
20. Too. Funny! I want to try that too! |
Zomby Woof
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Sun Sep-25-05 11:15 AM
Response to Original message |
21. Weekly World News fan here |
caty
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Sun Sep-25-05 11:37 AM
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cassiepriam
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Sun Sep-25-05 11:48 AM
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23. Can you tell me where Elvis is?? And the UFO baby? Thanks |
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