Tom Kitten
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Thu Sep-29-05 12:38 AM
Original message |
so a piece of string walks into a bar and orders a drink... |
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Bartender takes one look at it and yells, "Get out of here! We don't serve string!" Saddened piece of string goes outside, thinks for a moment, then starts unraveling itself before it ties itself up and walks back into the bar and orders another drink...
Bartender says, "Hey! Aren't you the piece of string I just kicked out of here a minute ago?
Piece of string replies..."No, I'm a frayed knot"...
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Crazy Guggenheim
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Thu Sep-29-05 12:39 AM
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Graf Orlok
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Thu Sep-29-05 12:40 AM
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Crazy Guggenheim
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Thu Sep-29-05 12:41 AM
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Tom Kitten
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Thu Sep-29-05 12:44 AM
Response to Reply #4 |
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I appreciate it but you can stop now! :rofl: :spray: :woohoo:
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hfojvt
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Thu Sep-29-05 12:43 AM
Response to Reply #2 |
8. doctor says: good news and bad news. Good news is U have 24 hours 2 live |
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bad news is: I forgot to call you yesterday.
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hfojvt
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Thu Sep-29-05 12:41 AM
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3. a priest, a rabbi and a penguin walk into a bar |
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and the bartender says 'what is this, some kind of joke?'
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CaliforniaPeggy
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Thu Sep-29-05 12:41 AM
Response to Original message |
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A pun.......
The lowest form of wit.....
I LOVE it!
:rofl:
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enigmatic
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Thu Sep-29-05 12:42 AM
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Crazy Guggenheim
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Thu Sep-29-05 12:42 AM
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Crazy Guggenheim
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Thu Sep-29-05 12:45 AM
Response to Original message |
10. I just flew in from Boston! |
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Boy are my arms tired!
:rofl: :rofl: :spray: :applause: :woohoo:
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WCGreen
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Thu Sep-29-05 12:45 AM
Response to Original message |
11. A set of Jumper cables walks into a bar... |
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The bartenders say, you better not be starin' anything....
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GoddessOfGuinness
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Thu Sep-29-05 12:47 AM
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Crazy Guggenheim
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Thu Sep-29-05 12:50 AM
Response to Original message |
13. A needle walks into a bar and the bartender says ... |
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"Hey we can't serve you! Last time you had everybody in stiches."
:rofl: :rofl: :spray:
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Graf Orlok
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Thu Sep-29-05 12:53 AM
Response to Reply #13 |
15. Did you hear about the magic tractor? |
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It was driving down the road and then suddenly turned into a field.
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Crazy Guggenheim
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Thu Sep-29-05 12:54 AM
Response to Reply #15 |
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:rofl: :rofl: :spray: :spray: :woohoo:
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Graf Orlok
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Thu Sep-29-05 12:51 AM
Response to Original message |
14. So there's these 2 muffins in an oven. |
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Edited on Thu Sep-29-05 12:55 AM by Graf Orlok
And one of them yells "God Damn, it's hot in here!"
And the other muffin replies "Holy Crap, a talking muffin!"
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Crazy Guggenheim
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Thu Sep-29-05 12:53 AM
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Tom Kitten
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Thu Sep-29-05 12:59 AM
Response to Reply #14 |
19. you hit the nail right on the head! |
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Obviously a couple of stud muffins...
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Graf Orlok
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Thu Sep-29-05 12:58 AM
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He had won every award and received every possible accolade: he was simply the best scarecrow ever. He truly was out standing in his field.
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Tom Kitten
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Thu Sep-29-05 01:02 AM
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Crazy Guggenheim
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Thu Sep-29-05 01:19 AM
Response to Reply #20 |
21. You're crack up! LMAO! |
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:rofl: :spray: :rofl: :spray:
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Graf Orlok
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Thu Sep-29-05 01:20 AM
Response to Original message |
22. Two podiatrists who opened their offices on the same street. |
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They were arch enemies.
I can't help myself!
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Crazy Guggenheim
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Thu Sep-29-05 01:22 AM
Response to Reply #22 |
23. LMAO! You guys crack me up!! |
Graf Orlok
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Thu Sep-29-05 01:23 AM
Response to Reply #23 |
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No, but a tin can.
DAMNIT! I can't stop!
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Crazy Guggenheim
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Thu Sep-29-05 01:27 AM
Response to Reply #24 |
26. You guys are the best!! LMAO! |
Graf Orlok
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Thu Sep-29-05 01:30 AM
Response to Reply #26 |
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Police are searching for a thief who robs his victims by threatening them with a lighted match.
They want to catch him before he strikes again.
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Crazy Guggenheim
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Thu Sep-29-05 01:31 AM
Response to Reply #27 |
28. STOP! STOP! It's to much!! |
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:spray: :spray: :rofl: :rofl:
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Graf Orlok
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Thu Sep-29-05 01:33 AM
Response to Reply #28 |
30. If you don't pay your exorcist you'll get repossessed. |
Crazy Guggenheim
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Thu Sep-29-05 01:35 AM
Response to Reply #30 |
31. That's it! That's it! |
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:spray: :spray: :rofl: :rofl:
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Graf Orlok
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Thu Sep-29-05 01:37 AM
Response to Reply #31 |
33. An author did all his writing from a study beneath his house. |
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It was a very cryptic book, but it was at a bargain-basement price, so he ended up with a best cellar.
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Crazy Guggenheim
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Thu Sep-29-05 01:39 AM
Response to Reply #33 |
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:spray: :spray: :rofl: :rofl:
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Tom Kitten
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Thu Sep-29-05 01:35 AM
Response to Reply #24 |
32. speaking of tin cans... |
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did you hear about the sperm whale and the submarine?
don't know all the details but heard the seamen got sucked out...
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Canuckistanian
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Thu Sep-29-05 01:26 AM
Response to Original message |
25. Termite walks into a bar |
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And says to the waitress, is the bartender here? .........Get it? Bar? Tender?...............He's a Termite, see?... And so Termites, well they kinda like wood....You see now? No?...... Oh, it's just not funny, ah, I see. :bounce:
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Crazy Guggenheim
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Thu Sep-29-05 01:32 AM
Response to Reply #25 |
29. OH JESUS! I'M BUSTING A GUT! |
Tom Kitten
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Thu Sep-29-05 01:39 AM
Response to Reply #25 |
35. I'm shaking my head here... |
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If I was a carpenter ant... And you were my bladey...
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Crazy Guggenheim
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Thu Sep-29-05 02:53 PM
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36. Too much!! Too much!! |
Shell Beau
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Thu Sep-29-05 02:55 PM
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37. Hee hee hee! Corny but funny!!! |
Shell Beau
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Thu Sep-29-05 03:04 PM
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38. Two peanuts walk into a bar |
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One was a-salted!
A dyslexic man walks into a bra!
Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender, a tub of cottage cheese, says to them, "We don't serve your kind in here." One of the yogurt cartons says back to him, "Why not? We're cultured individuals."
This mushroom walks into a bar and starts hitting on this woman... She, of course, turns him down. Not willing, to give up, he pleads with her... "C'mon lady, I'm a fun guy..."
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Thu Apr 25th 2024, 08:05 PM
Response to Original message |