tjwash
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Thu Sep-29-05 02:59 PM
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This is to inform you all that I had a terrible accident a few months ago. While fishing down in San Diego, I hooked a 100 pound halibut, and in trying to get the damn thing in the boat the gaff slipped and went into the side of my head leaving a gaping hole.
The doctors have estimated that about three quarters of my brain leaked out into the bottom of the boat which I scooped up and have here in a jar. To make matters worse, for some unknown reason I have developed an insatiable appetite for oxy-contin, and carosopridol, and I haven’t been able to stop eating and have gained more than 200 pounds.
Since the accident I have done nothing but listen to Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, and Bill O'reilly, and have gained an insatiable love of large guns and an all consuming hate of gays and non-white people. In fact all I do anymore is read NRA literature, talk about how the mon-whites are getting all the good jobs and how all the damn gays are sodomizing our children.
I am dictating this to someone who still knows how to read and write as I have forgotten how to do that kind of liberal crap. Skinner, you had better cancel my subscription to du and send me a refund or I will come blow your commie-pinko liberal head off.
Yours in Christ, An X-Liberal:evilgrin:
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Crazy Guggenheim
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Thu Sep-29-05 03:02 PM
Response to Original message |
1. The loss of a brain. Incredible things that happens along with it. |
AnarchoFreeThinker
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Thu Sep-29-05 03:03 PM
Response to Original message |
2. I gotta admit I liked ya better w/o the hole in your head. |
IChing
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Thu Sep-29-05 03:05 PM
Response to Original message |
3. This sounds like a gaff, good luck when you move to the OC. |
khashka
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Thu Sep-29-05 04:53 PM
Response to Original message |
4. I liked you so much better before.... |
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But have you checked out Free Republic? It sounds like it would be right up your alley.
As the Godfather of the Gay Mafia and a generally nice guy as well, I suppose I better tell you we've put a hit out on you.....
Khash.
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xmas74
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Thu Sep-29-05 05:09 PM
Response to Reply #4 |
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Sorry to hijack but I just found out that I scored nearly 90% on a fag hag test. Thought you'd understand.
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khashka
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Thu Sep-29-05 05:11 PM
Response to Reply #6 |
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You just figured that one out? You're my all time fave fag hag!
Khash, laughing....
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JimmyJazz
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Thu Sep-29-05 05:13 PM
Response to Reply #7 |
khashka
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Thu Sep-29-05 05:17 PM
Response to Reply #8 |
12. Hey, don't get jealous |
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A man can never have enough gorgeous girlfriends. Even a gay man.
Have I told you today how beautiful you are?
Khash, still reeling from seeing Jimmy's thighs again.....
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xmas74
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Thu Sep-29-05 05:16 PM
Response to Reply #7 |
10. I knew that I was one. |
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I just didn't know that I scored as high as Liza and Margaret Cho!
One question: How do you feel about two men making out? My answer: it happens on my couch.
And another question was about the men around me(besides family members): if I'm not sleeping w/ them they must be gay.
Oh-I also own a feather boa.
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khashka
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Thu Sep-29-05 05:19 PM
Response to Reply #10 |
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I wanna know if I'm a fag hag too.....
Khash.
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xmas74
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Thu Sep-29-05 05:21 PM
Response to Reply #13 |
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Edited on Thu Sep-29-05 05:22 PM by xmas74
http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=10178020086192398337btw-the question about George Michaels-you can guess my answer. I think that just put the final nail in the coffin.
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JimmyJazz
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Thu Sep-29-05 05:32 PM
Response to Reply #14 |
17. Fek - I only scored 64% - they got me on the musicals thang |
xmas74
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Thu Sep-29-05 05:35 PM
Response to Reply #17 |
18. We have a ton of musicals in my house. |
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Callie loves them. One of my closest friends bought them for her when she was a baby. He stated that he had to train her to be a hag while she was young so she'd know no other way of life.
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WCGreen
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Thu Sep-29-05 05:44 PM
Response to Reply #18 |
23. The first two DVD's I bought Were Westside Story and |
xmas74
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Thu Sep-29-05 05:46 PM
Response to Reply #23 |
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Edited on Thu Sep-29-05 05:47 PM by xmas74
Camelot, Brigadoon, My Fair Lady-and the list goes on and on.
(btw-daughter's favorite is Seven Brides for Seven Brothers)
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WCGreen
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Thu Sep-29-05 05:55 PM
Response to Reply #24 |
25. I love that one, 7 fo 7..... |
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Howard Keil.....
I also have Oliver! That production number of Who Will Buy is perhaps the best constructed scen in a movie ever!....
And they did it w/o multiple cuts....
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xmas74
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Thu Sep-29-05 06:43 PM
Response to Reply #25 |
27. I need to get her that one |
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but haven't found it around here. Maybe I need to order it for Christmas? I think she'd like it.
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WCGreen
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Thu Sep-29-05 07:47 PM
Response to Reply #27 |
28. Oh she would love it.... |
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I saw it at a downtown theater, one of those old theater's they are fixing up in areas, and it was just really cool.... One of my best memories.......
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khashka
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Thu Sep-29-05 08:40 PM
Response to Reply #28 |
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Chris is a fag hag, too?
Khash.
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WCGreen
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Thu Sep-29-05 08:50 PM
Response to Reply #29 |
30. I have always loved everything about being gay..... |
khashka
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Thu Sep-29-05 08:59 PM
Response to Reply #30 |
31. Yeah that was what I thought |
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I might could change your mind if your wife gives you some time off :evilgrin:
Khash.
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WCGreen
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Thu Sep-29-05 09:07 PM
Response to Reply #31 |
32. Well there was this time...... |
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But I was really drunk....
Frank........
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khashka
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Thu Sep-29-05 09:21 PM
Response to Reply #32 |
33. Yeah I saw the punchline a mile off :) |
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But don't worry, I have no intention of molesting you. I just think it would be fun to run my fingers through your hair. Hardly homosexual at all :)
Khash.
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WCGreen
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Thu Sep-29-05 09:39 PM
Response to Reply #33 |
34. That would be about 2,500 miles off..... |
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Edited on Thu Sep-29-05 09:39 PM by WCGreen
And actually his name was.......
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khashka
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Thu Sep-29-05 05:37 PM
Response to Reply #14 |
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Am I a straight man in a gay man's body? Is there an operation for that?
Khash.
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xmas74
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Thu Sep-29-05 05:40 PM
Response to Reply #20 |
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And you are definitely not straight. I got a higher score than you did!
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JimmyJazz
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Thu Sep-29-05 05:27 PM
Response to Reply #13 |
xmas74
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Thu Sep-29-05 05:36 PM
Response to Reply #16 |
19. That's a good one too. |
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I'll have to let Mike know to quit calling me his hag now and refer to me as his queer peer.
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khashka
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Thu Sep-29-05 05:41 PM
Response to Reply #16 |
22. As a man with a lesbian fetish.... |
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I'm quite fond of the term "Dyke Daddy".
And I like Tori Amos's "Riot Poof" as another word for gay.
I sometimes find Fag Hag offensive but Margaret Cho pretty much got that one right.
Khash.
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merh
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Thu Sep-29-05 04:56 PM
Response to Original message |
5. You'd have to have a hole in your head to want to leave DU! |
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:blush: Okay, never mind. :freak:
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khashka
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Thu Sep-29-05 05:14 PM
Response to Original message |
9. OK I have to do this.... |
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Head like a hole Black as your soul I'd rather die Than give you control!
Bow down before the one you serve You're going to get what you deserve!
(xmas made me do it, blame her!)
Khash.
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In_The_Wind
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Thu Sep-29-05 06:33 PM
Response to Reply #9 |
edbermac
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Thu Sep-29-05 05:16 PM
Response to Original message |
11. Even losing 3/4 of your brain can't turn you into a neocon. |
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They just have one functioning brain cell.
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DS1
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Thu Sep-29-05 05:24 PM
Response to Original message |
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Remember, always smoke Marlboro Reds when you're reloading your ammo under the light of your indoor generator
:hi:
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spacelady
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Thu Sep-29-05 09:47 PM
Response to Original message |
35. Very Good, tjwash, look at some of the heavy-hitter responses |
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you received without nary a peep from thou. I Salute You!
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Prisoner_Number_Six
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Thu Sep-29-05 09:52 PM
Response to Original message |
36. I'll bet the tipping point was the pork rinds. |
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I know you didn't mention it, but it's really all too common.
I pity you, you poor lost fool.
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NNadir
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Thu Sep-29-05 10:02 PM
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37. I can't believe that with 1/4 of a brain remaining... |
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...you still listen to Limbaugh, Hannity and O'Reilly.
That's way too much brain power to waste on that stuff. Are you pickling the remaining quarter in oxycotin?
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