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Edited on Tue Oct-04-05 11:00 PM by SmileyBoy
There's something going on in my life, and I don't know what to do about it. I was wondering if anyone could give me some advice. It's a really long story, so if you don't want to respond, you don't have to.
Here's the story: I'm 3rd-year student manager for a college football team. When I started out, I was earning work-study money ($1,300), and working at practices, though I did not work at games, I wasn't involved in training camp, and I wasn't in the team program. Starting at this time an throughout this past spring (2 years), my boss, the team equipment manager (who is a university employee, not a student) was a guy who really took a liking to me, and respected me, and I liked him a lot, and who told me when I was doing a good job. My personal expectations for what I wanted my role to be on the team were largely fulfilled that year.
In the second year (2004-05), my old boss was obviously still there, and I finally got the chance to work at home games, but I still wasn't on the travelling roster (which was what I hoped for that year). It was a lot of fun, and the game-day experience for me as a worker was a lot more fun than just being a fan in the stands. But at this time, I was no longer qualified to get PAID for the job through work-study. It turned out that my family's income was (and still is) too high for me to qualify for any work-study compensation. Even though I was mad that I wouldn't get paid, I asked my (former) boss if I could stay on and volunteer. He was OK with it, and for the rest of the year, I worked for nothing. By later that year, my money situation started getting worse. (I live in the dorms, and my parents pay most of everything, BTW.) I needed a source of income for myself to buy my medications, my gasoline, food, clothes, etc. (My parents don't pay for these) I had a job for a little while at Domino's delivering pizzas during the winter, but the reason I quit the job shortly after was because football (the job I was volunteering at) was interfering with my work and class schedule.
As for this year: My old boss leaves for another job. This new guy (He's from Florida, so you can now see what's coming in this story) comes in as my boss, and while things seem to be hit off as pretty formal and business-like off the bat through phone conversations, there was no sense of good vibes between us. The first time I meet him at training camp (this was my first year at that, BTW), I was not initally sure if I was going to like him, or he was going to like me. BTW, this year, I had my picture in the game program and was at training camp for the first time this year, but things start getting worse, as I will tell.
It turns out my new boss starts saying some things to me almost right off the bat which I guess would be his idea of jokes, although they didn't seem very funny to me. This is a guy who never smiles, does NOT work well with others (including players), and is not a guy you would want to have drinks with at the bar. He seems almost mildly anti-social. Very quiet, but not sociable. The complete opposite of me. Although not being truthful, he often jokes about firing me and/or making me do manual hard labour. He never once smiled in my direction, has never told me that I was doing a good job, and has threatened me on a few occasions (although I am not sure if he was joking or not on those occasions). He never wants to initiate a conversation with me unless it's about something he thought I did wrong, or something he just wants me to do. He talks about music, movies and sports with all the other managers except me. It's like he 1) Doesn't think I'm that of an important person on the team or on his staff, and 2) He thinks I just fell off the turnip truck, thinks this is my first year on the team and my first year in college (the truth is that this is my 3rd year on the team and my 5th year in college).
One other example of his behaviour was: I was in the equipment room today while he was talking with another student manager about a song he hated, he was talking about when it first came out in 1998 when he was a freshman in college. I was amazed that he was only 4 years older than me (27-28), because he looks a lot older than that. I said, "Hey, I was a sophomore in high school in 1998! I didn't know you were that young..." And he said, "So what? I'm still your boss." with a big frown on his face. I thought that was a very rude, boorish remark for a person to make towards someone who is working under them.
As for the game-day experience, this year he had me relegated to wearing a conference T-shirt (the football conference we're in) and pulling nets up and down during the games with THREE OTHER KIDS WHO ARE BETWEEN THE AGES OF 8 AND 11 (I'm 23, if you were able to tell), instead of me doing the job I had last year, taking defensive tendency stats on the field for the defensive coordinator while wearing a normal game polo like all the other coaches and managers.
Now this is where other factors come into play. For the past three years, I have been waiting to get on the travelling roster for the team. I didn't get in this year either. There is one student manager that I know of who I have been on the team for one year more than him, and he has a scholarship and is on the travelling roster, and I'm don't have either. All the other managers have scholarships, except for me and this one other guy, who's in his first year on the team and has work-study.
Here's what happens next: The one guy who gets work study was talking with my (new) boss last week about his payment, and at the end, my boss says to him, "...and we'll see what we have for you next year as far as scholarships are concerned." He brought up the FUCKING ISSUE of scholarships with some NEW guy, when I've been trying to bring it up with my bosses ever since last year with my OLD boss. (For the record, only scholarship managers can be on the travelling roster, a fact that I was just introduced to recently.)
So then today, he says something about me being able to go on a road trip with the team if something happens later on, right?? And I say that "I'm getting a scholarship next year anyway, right??", and he says, "Who said anything about you getting a scholarship??", and I said "Well, it'll be my 4th year on the team, and I'm staying at NDSU anyway, I'm not going anywhere." But at that point, feeling embarrassed for bringing it up, I just immediately say never mind, and I'll bring it up in the spring. Think about it: He wants to bring up the issue of scholarships with some FIRST YEAR GUY and doesn't want to bring up the issue with ME, who has been there for three seasons, and has been busting his ass working on the team for FREE for the past two. This pissed me off something fierce, and was the reason I'm mulling over quitting this job.
I now realize that I actually NEED a scholarship (rather than just looking for one as an excuse to travel), because my parents are running out of money to pay for my college, and I already have three outstanding student loans. Not only that, but because of legislation by the sonofabitch Republicans, the state workforce development center that used to pay for HALF my tuition, books and room are now only obligated to pay for $150.00 per semester for my expenses. Now the load is on my parents, and what used to be me asking for a chance to travel is now my asking for a chance to help my parents, because of what I said earlier, that only scholarship managers can travel.
So I decided to measure the pros and cons of the situation:
PROS:
1) All the players really like me, and they are basically my only circle of friends. This kind of thing is really important for a guy like me with Aspberger's Syndrome who finds difficulty in establishing relationships with new people. The players and coaches all treat me well.
2) I absolutely LOVE this job. I get a great sense of pride in doing it. I look forward to going to practice every day after classes.
CONS:
1) The Boss: He obviously doesn't think highly of me, thinks I'm there as kind of a side show, and not as an integral part of the group, and seems to now be favouring other managers all equally over me alone.
2) No money: I have about 80 dollars in the bank and 4 dollars in my wallet. I need to fill my tank, I have about 40 dollars worth of prescriptions I have yet to buy, and I need to buy a couple new pairs of pants, because all my other pairs are worn out. I need money, because I have essentials I need to buy.
3) I have no future in football. I do this, because I love football so much that I want to be a part of the game as much as I can. I have been in organized football since the 5th grade. I was an assistant coach for my old high school team the year before I went to university. I LOVE the game. But I'm planning on graduating as a prospective architect, and there are no places for architects on football teams.
So there you have it. It's a long story, but I need to know what to do. I was going to ask my best friend, but he is a biased source, since he's another manager, and obviously wants me to stay on the team.
What do you think I should do??
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