Did I say that?

[CornField]

I often find myself saying something so absurd that I'm frightened it came from my own mouth. Typically these are things that I heard repeatedly from my own parents and swore I would never say to my own kids, but sometimes they are just... well... bordline insane comment.

Today, I told my son:
"You can't just sit your penis anywhere!" (You should have seen his eyes at this announcement.)

A few days ago to my 13-year-old out popped this classic:
"If all your friends were jumping of a bridge..."

What are some of yours?