Heterosexuals, do you compliment opposite sex on looks?

[Nikia]

If you have no intentions or hopes of sleeping with them. Do you say this in a respectful way?
I am a heterosexual female who has been "complimented" on my attractiveness by lots of men but it has always seemed to be kind of threatening. This may because I don't remember a time when any Platonic heterosexual male friend or aquaintance has complimented me on my appearance. I might no be attractive enough for them to comment or perhaps they are afraid that I would take it the wrong way. I'm married, by the way.
For me, I have said positive things about the appearance male friends or aquaintances, but usually only if they are cutting on themselves. I guess that perhaps I have the same fear (it being taken the wrong way) as they might to just mention it out of the blue.
I am also interested in whether or not I do take "compliments" the wrong way. Perhaps they really aren't hoping to sleep with me when they say "Nice tits."
I am interested if there is a difference between male and females.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

1. i think you are getting compliments mixed up with harrassment

[Nikia]

5. Maybe, my example was extreme

Perhaps, a better example:
For example, I have had a few women say that I had pretty hair or eyes. They didn't seem to have intentions.
Anytime a man has said this to me, he said something else to suggest that he had intentions. A heterosexual male friend or aquaintance has never said anything like this.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

7. people passing comments on streets of a sexual nature

constitutes harrassment in my books....

[supernova]

2. Well, "nice tits" is usually code for "can I sleep with you?"

:D

A platonic compliment (and this is hightly general, from either gay or straight) usually goes something along the lines of..... "that scarf is really pretty. I like the way it picks up the color in your eyes."


edit: I'm having real spelling issues today!

edit 2: LP is right. I would consider it harrassment from a stranger or someone I considered a "friend".

[SarahB]

3. That's harassment.

The only man allowed in my book to openly say to me "nice tits" would be my spouse/SO/lover. Anyone else, it's invasive and harassing. Anything more than "pretty" or "attractive" makes me a bit uncomfortable.

[ScreamingMeemie]

4. I do it all the time on DU picture threads.

Although, my next door neighbor (single female) is always complimenting my husband and saying things like, "Hi Honey" and I admit, it bothers me a little. :hi:

[Nikia]

6. I think that the internet gives us safety

Things aren't as personal when we are viewing a picture as opposed to someone who we see every day at work.
As far as your next door neighbor, unless she calls nearly everyone "Honey", I think that such a word might suggest intentions.

[Oeditpus Rex]

8. Most guys don't know how to give compliments

We're afraid to.

We're afraid of women thinking we have ulterior motives, of being called "pigs," of being charged with harassment, of simply saying the wrong thing, of being rebuffed when we meant no harm.

Or, I am, anyway.

Years ago, a barmaid caught my attention. I've always been quite shy about approaching women, but I felt I had to say something to this one. I wrote on the back of a business card, "Please excuse my effrontry and my unwillingness to speak, but I have to say this: You're one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen," and asked the barmaid at our table to give it to her. She did, and I never heard anything more about it. Not even "Thank you."

What I took from that is I wasn't attractive enough for her to acknowledge the compliment. Perhaps that was a misinterpretation, but what else was I to assume?

There was a "post your photo" thread here last night. I found three or four of the women who posted strikingly attractive, but I didn't say anything; it just didn't seem prudent (if you'll forgive the Pappy reference). I'm not a Lounge regular, and that was a big part of my silence. But primarily, it was simply because I was afraid of being misconstrued or, worse, told to take a hike — even though it wouldn't occur to me to say something as crass as "Nice tits," the anonymity of the internet notwithstanding.

Guys who do say things like "Nice tits" don't care what you think of them. Sometimes it seems as if not caring is an advantage.

(On edit: Sometimes the "intention" is only to make you think we're nice guys. If that leads to something in future, great. If it doesn't, we're still nice guys.)

[skygazer]

10. Comment on your barmaid experience

You say, "What I took from that is I wasn't attractive enough for her to acknowledge the compliment. Perhaps that was a misinterpretation, but what else was I to assume?"

Plenty.

I imagine the poor girl heard about a thousand variations of that every single night - you can't be female and work in a bar without hearing it, no matter what you look like (there's always someone drunk enough to think you're the most beautiful girl in the world - after all, you're female and carrying alcohol. For some guys, that's heaven right there).

So it's not surprising you didn't get a thank you or any other acknowledgement - besides, shy or not, passing a note is a very lame way to extend any compliment - smacks of third grade (sorry, but it does).

[Left Is Write]

9. Yes, I do. And I have no intention of sleeping with anyone but my husband.

My compliments are not given with any ulterior motive.