worst movie remake ever

[sundog]

the amityville horror



not that the original was fritz lang or anythin... but it did scare the living shit out of me as a kid...

the new one, can i just say, is the sorriest ass piece of shit i have run across in a long, long time

let's see...

a family in their 20's buys ridiculous size castle (yes now a castle) in amityville... they never work... we don't know where they get their money from... but they dine at a cheap ass restaurant when they do go out...

some stupid shit with the babysitter...

there are no flies... well, just once for like 2 seconds, but whatever

a girl gets stuck on the roof like 1000 feet in the air and everyone slides down or something...

jodie is no longer a freaky pig in the kids' closet... it's a girl...

none of the holy people throw up when they go inside...

the dvd says "get out" on it... but the voices never actually say "get out"

ryan reynolds has a nice bod, but you don't get to see his ass...

no scary "lalalala" music...

god help me for renting this piece of shit

that's all

what's your pic for worst movie remake ever?

[RetroLounge]

1. Hey You!

Where ya been????

RL

[sundog]

4. recovering from this piece of shit movie

:P

[bigwillq]

2. Glad me and the man

didn't rent it yesterday. We went to three stores and everyone was out. So we went home and watched three movies on Lifetime before Desperate Housewives came on.

[sundog]

3. this is the only thing that helped me endure the 1.5 hours of shit:

[bigwillq]

8. Who is that?

Obviously I know he's in the movie but I don't know which actors were in that movie.

[sundog]

22. the guy alanis morrisette fucks whenever she wants to

just sayin

[bigwillq]

23. What's his name?

He goes out with Alanis? Good for her.

[Orrin_73]

43. The guy looks like gannon with hair!!!

[ghostsofgiants]

5. Planet Of The Apes was awful

[Zuni]

19. total agreement

[bliss_eternal]

24. It was horrible--I agree...

I totally wanted my money back!

[LSdemocrat]

34. Agreed.

[FuzzySlippers]

6. "King Kong" has to be high on any list. n/t

[NYYFan]

46. Wait for the next version

1976 was bad- I suspect the "new one" will be even worse.

[smirkymonkey]

7. Just saw it last night and wholeheartedly agree.

[hickman1937]

9. The Secret Garden.

Yes, the 1993 version was very pretty but strayed so far from the spirit of the book that it seemed to be a different story altogether. That's the only one that comes to mind right now. The 1949 version was much better.

[AmandaRuth]

10. The Longest Yard

woooow - was that bad, or was that bad. It was beyond awful.

[Lycan]

15. I'd have to agree with you on that one.

It was awful.

[newyawker99]

37. Hi Lycan!!

Welcome to DU!! :toast:

[WCGreen]

11. The second A Star is Born was better than the first....

But the third... Oye, that movie just sucked....

[jpgray]

12. I found the best way to honor your return

A thread that will sink into ignominity without garnering a single reply. Like old times:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x4132364

[Democrats_win]

13. The In-Laws. 1979 it was so funny, 2003 was a waste.

Michael Douglas is a good actor, but like Ryan Renolds, sometimes good people can't make bad movies better.

Peter Faulk and Alan Arkin were great in the original.

[Zuni]

14. Amityville scared the shit out of me

I could not get 30 minutes into it

[sundog]

25. the new one??

oh please

oh that's right, emily rose made you want to cry :eyes:

[Zuni]

27. It only made me want to cry deeply masculine tears of testosterone

:P

I couldn't handle the New Amityville, by myself, late at night. So sue me. Shit was all freaky and shit.

When I was a kid, the old Amityville scared the shit out of me, but nowadays it is tame.

[sundog]

28. you have so much testosterone that it overflows from your eyes

i have that problem too

sucks, doesn't it? :(

[Zuni]

29. I ooze masculinity

[JimmyJazz]

16. You are???? And, you're here for?

:shrug:























:P

[sundog]

26. i am the shadow of my former self

:7

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

17. "Psycho"

[Fenris]

18. P-S-Y-C-H-O

Shot by shot remake that really should never have been.

[terrya]

38. It was in color! And it had a different cast!!

Anne Heche instead of Janet Leigh!

Vince Vaughn instead of Anthony Perkins!

William H. Macy instead of Martin Balsam!

And the whole fucking thing was completely pointless!

[skoppa]

20. That bad?

I heard it was ok but never saw it myself b/c hated the original.

[Az]

21. Battlefield Earth

Ok, so it wasn't a remake. I just wanted to make sure that no one ever thought of remaking it ... ever.

[Orrin_73]

44. 3000 years will pass before someone

remakes that!

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

30. Diabolique - for me it's the very worst remake ever

Compared to Clouzot's masterpiece "Les Diaboliques", which is one of cinema's all-time greatest thrillers (as good or better than anything Hitchcock ever made), the movie is flat and dull. Sharon Stone gave a sub-par performance and the remake was altogether uninspiring. I think the thing that makes it worse is the greatest of the original.

[William Bloode]

31. Speaking of 70's horror remakes that suck.

The remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Total suckage!!!!!! Toby Hooper should have sued! Not even the least bit scary, my 9yr old daughter went right to sleep afterwords.

[Oeditpus Rex]

32. 'Switching Channels' (1988)

Remake of "His Girl Friday" (1940, Cary Grant/Rosalind Russell) with Burt Reynolds and Kathleen Turner. Utterly forgettable.

"His Girl Friday" was a remake of "The Front Page" (1931, Adolphe Menjou/Pat O'Brien) with a female co-lead to give it "love interest." It was probably the best of the four. "The Front Page" was redone in 1974 with Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau. Pretty good.

[Scoots]

33. All the one's that came out recently. Plus, Ocean's 12 -- The sequel to

a movie that shouldn't have been remade in the first place. When the Miami Vice movie comes out I'm gonna pee on the theater marquee.

[Crazy Guggenheim]

35. I don't see too many movies but I saw "Godzilla" a few years back

and it stunk!

[Ellipsis]

36. Bedazzled.

[jojog]

39. The Fly

with Jeff Goldbloom

[LynneSin]

40. My memories of the remake of Amityville - almost got into a fist fight

Not kidding you!!

As a fluke my friend Amy and I went to see the movie on a Friday Night. The theater was pretty empty but we somehow managed to sit in front of the couple who wants to discuss everything during the movie.

I tried to politely turn around not once, but twice and asked that they not talk during the movie. But the girl was one of those "Don't get into my face if I want to talk during a movie damnit I paid $8 for this ticket and I'll talk".

Then she proceeded to threaten to beat me up if I didn't stop bugging her.

I actually went out and got management (even security came in) and they just let her go even though she told management & security she was planning on kicking my ass when we left the theater.

So we did nothing except try to ignore her. When we left the theater, the 20 other people stuck around us hoping to see a fist fight. Me, not wanting to be the pacifist that I am, just looked at her and asked if she was going to live up to her trash status and kick my ass here in front of all these people and yes, my lawyer and the police would be contacting her afterwards to file assault so she better make the asskicking worth it. Fortunately her boyfriend was smart enough to drag her off into the car and gave me an "I'm really sorry I have such an evil girlfriend" look.

I wrote a nasty letter to Cinemark management threatening to write a letter to the editors of the local paper about how they allow this kind of behavior in theaters - they paid me off with a ton of free movie passes.

[kick-ass-bob]

41. I would have SO kicked your ass.

:D

[LynneSin]

42. I would have so owned everything that you possessed

seriously, my ass might have been kicked, but I would easily have sic'd lawyers & police on your ass because I had 20 people witness this woman agressively threatening to attack me and me peacefully trying to be non-violent.

My satisfication would have been knowing that my short time of pain would subside but her sorry ass would be suffering for years

[texas1928]

45. The remake of Sundog: The Musical.

PHEW what a stinker.

:P

[Catfight]

47. Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. nt

[jmowreader]

48. War of the Fucking Worlds is the worst MOVIE ever

so quite naturally it has to be the worst REMAKE ever.

Cool special effects do not save a shit feature.

[Brewman_Jax]

49. Godzilla

'nuff said.

[PittPoliSci]

50. Planet of the Apes. UGH!!!

I love Tim Burton, but... UGGGHH!!! Why would he waste his talent on that piece of lame? Planet of the Apes was NEVER a good idea, what made him think remaking it would be any better?

[Initech]

51. Lost In Space

Especially because it starred the most annoying member of the Friends cast if anything... :puke: :puke: :puke:

[anarch]

52. I usually don't bother to watch the remakes...

b/c I know they will just piss me off. Like, for instance, Rollerball. Why would anyone want to remake that movie? I didn't watch it, but from the previews, I can pretty much assume it would have just made me angry.

And then there was Get Carter. Again, why remake this? Admittedly, it wasn't even close to being the same movie, but...I dunno. Remakes suck.