Is anyone else here CURSED?

[Sugar Smack]

I have been visited with 2 absolutely uncanny curses that are unique and aggravating. This always leads to my apparent overreaction in the eyes of the non-cursed.

One- just about everywhere I go, if I happen to glance up in, say, a parking lot or driving next to the sidewalk, I bear witness to a man SPITTING. It simply doesn't matter where I am, I glance up/over and the next thing I know, a man who doesn't care if he's being observed spits. And it's always visible, you know, the "product".

Two- I can park in the nosebleed section of a store parking lot with no car around for miles. I've noticed some prefer to park as close to the store as they can. Why is it then, that EVERY SINGLE TIME that I emerge from the store, my car is flanked by two super-huge SUVs, making my vision impossible?

If someone knows a good spell I can use to dilute the effects of these curses, I'd love to hear it.

Thanks in advance.:patriot:

[ghostsofgiants]

1. I was convinced for a while that I was cursed to miss concerts...

And even now, I think I'm cursed to miss concerts that the band Wintersleep aren't somehow involved with.

[Sugar Smack]

4. Let me guess: Drama Queen friend?

My good man, if that's the case, you and I probably blame ourselves. I've missed shows only because of my drama queen friends. And the victims always blame themselves.

:grouphug:

[ghostsofgiants]

10. A combination of bad luck (last minute cancellations and whatnot)...

And ignorant assholes putting their own concerns before anything else (specifically friends who decide that getting drunk trumps picking me up). I definitely don't blame myself, I blame the ignorant jackasses around me.

[KG]

2. were you Cleopatra in a past life?

that might explain the curse.

[Sugar Smack]

6. Wow, that's amazing,

because I've been told I was related to Gengis Khan. Guilt by related association? I can't do ANYTHING about that. Oh, dear! :cry:

I don't believe it, though.

[bridgit]

3. ah yes, stuck in the: Sport Utility Valley...

with some 60% of the cars on the road as SUV's, honey, that is a curse shared by many; as for 'the product'...americans can be so fucking rude. a curse we may have had befall us from fathers past :cry:

[Sugar Smack]

8. ****HOLD ME*****!

Perhaps my breaking of the silence will do? Maybe I'm hexing the hex?

*fingers crossed*

:hug: :tinfoilhat:

[bridgit]

11. YES! my darling = hex the hex...

my thought preeee-cisely :rofl: as you know it to be the case :woohoo: :loveya:

[djeseru]

5. Yeah, I've been cursed at a few times...

Must be by those that are parking their SUV's by you...

[johnnie]

7. Oh yeah, the curse of the "spitting vision blockers".

That is a very old curse used by the ancient Ju Ju consoriums of the old "Pain in the ass" tribes of the 1980s.

What you need to do (and listen very very carefully) put two acorns between your knees and dance to the Village People's "YMCA". After the song is over you have to take a half of a tablespoon of salt, pour it back into the canister you got it from, say the magical words "spitty spitty... don't drive SUV's" and then hop on your left leg for 13 minutes, 21 seconds and a half a moment. If you go over or under the half a moment, start again.

You'll be fine. :thumbsup:

[trof]

9. Damn! My granny taught me that one.

Small world.

[Sugar Smack]

16. Will an aberration in the ritual cause unbound chaos?

I'm not worried...but then I am. Say my right leg's stronger than my left leg...I hop on it for 23 seconds. I get motorcycles, Florida gets more hurricanes?

I'm sorry, honey. That was VERY helpful, and I doubted.:cry: :hug: :loveya:

[In_The_Wind]

12. Sugar ~ sadly there is nothing I can do about those regrettable incidences

[Sugar Smack]

17. WE CAN SEE EACH OTHER & HAVE MORE FUN!

:bounce:

My very own bad timing be DAMNED.

[In_The_Wind]

22. Of Course We Can ...

There's nothing wrong with your timing It is as it should be.

[Misunderestimator]

13. Smash in your bumper and the sides of the car...

then no one will park next to you. :D :hi:

[Sugar Smack]

18. YES!

:bounce: :toast:

and spit when I walk across the parking lot!

LURVE YOU!

[sakabatou]

14. I feel cursed when it comes to relationships

[Sugar Smack]

19. OK~ Read aloud from "Sassafrass, Cypress & Indigo"

by Ntozake Shange. Any passage will do just fine. Sprinkle wildflowers into your bathwater, plus some vanilla.

Wink at yourself in the mirror just once.

Try on an article of clothing left behind by one of those people who broke your heart, think about them hard, take off the clothing and throw it away.

:hug:

[sakabatou]

23. I've already moved on

But it's kinda depressing that I can't hold a relationship for a long time.

[Jamastiene]

15. You KNOW I am cursed too.

My entire life sucks, except my precious little time on DU and that's no exaggeration either. And now, I am failing math tests even though I have been studying. I'm tired of tests. I'm tired of college. Please tell me it's still worth it.

[Sugar Smack]

20. A POX ON MATH.

Math, parking spaces, men who spit publicly.

Hit them all 3 times with our pain, sobered to the bone with empathy and introspection, then send the sorry lot on its way!!

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

PS- GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

[no name no slogan]

21. For #2-- write a note to the SUVs

"HEY ASSHOLE-- THANK YOU FOR PARKING ME IN. I REALLY ENJOY SMASHING OUT MY BACK WINDOW TO GET INTO MY CAR"

Be sure you write it directly on the SUVs, with your key. That way they will get the point.