my son has started a race war

[knowbody0]

in class the subject was racism. he asked "if i call you a Hindu, is that racist?" teacher: "blah blah blah blah" (according to Joe, who tunes out when he hears bull shit) so he says "ok dirty Mexican". he was sent to principal who lectured him for 15 minutes. Joe's response "white people in our town have been calling brown people "dirty Mexicans" for 300 years. why is it not ok for me to call myself "dirty Mexican" since i am brown?
he's been called back to the principal's office 4 days in a row.
today is the first i heard of it. i asked him if he needs my support. with the most intense and defiant glare he tells me he has it handled.
once again i find myself on DU asking WTF? once again i swell with pride and admiration of this little warrior. i'm suprised the school has not called me.

[Taxloss]

1. Surely you should be trying to kill that stereotype?

It's an obviously derogatory term.

[knowbody0]

2. hey, i would neve use that term

it outrages me! i'm blown away by this new event.

[Taxloss]

3. What is his protest?

What is his protest against?

[knowbody0]

5. im not sure at all

i only know he's making a stand.
the community is 90% white. he's been in the same district now for 10 years. we've had a few incidents. bus driver called him a "beaner". a teacher called on him in class to explain what it felt like to not be white. it's mostly kid to kid stuff other than that.
im wondering where this is all going myself. we talked. he is very serious about it.

[Taxloss]

7. When I was very young, a policeman came to me school to explain

equality. He plucked an Asian girl and me (I'm very, very pale white) out of the class. He asked the girl: "What country where you born in?" and she said "England." Then he asked me: "What country were you born in?" and I said, truthfully, "India."

That buggered that lesson.

[knowbody0]

8. we are going to watch "Crash" together tomorow

[Canuckistanian]

12. I can see the subject changing real fast

"So, who here has heard of drugs?"

[Taxloss]

17. Actually he said something along the lines of "Well, that didn't work, but

the point is we're all born in the same country/pretty much the same/whatever"

Despite the fact that his base assumption had been that because I was white I was born here. The best part was when he looked across at my teacher and she nodded. I think the children weren't the only ones who got a lesson in prejudice that day.

[Nevernose]

4. This is what I tell my students re: racial epithets

"When it comes to racial epithets, don't use them. Period. If you use them, then I use them. Do you really want an old white cracker like me using words like nigger, beaner, chink, or whatever else? Yeah, that's what I thought. If you use them, then I get to use them. And THAT'S why you don't get to call yourself 'dirty Mexican.' Show more pride in yourself than that. There's no one in here that's 'dirty,' and a large part of this country was built on the backs of Latino immigrants. You don't get to put yourself down in this class, only build yourself up."

Proceed to lecture on diversity, multiculturalism, and tolerance #4. I don't hear anything non-productive on the subject of race after the first week, nor do I want to.

Do you know what the teacher said, or only what Joe said the teacher said? Because if the teacher responded as I just did, or as I would have in that situation, then it's not bullshit. How old is you little warrior? Is he fighting the good fight, or just fighting?

And I would add, and not just from a teacher's perspective but from an experienced parent's perspective, that if your kid's been at the principal's office four times in four days, then your kid has probably done something wrong. Is it the same teacher over and over again? Or four different teachers? Either way, the principal is just doing their job: chewing the ass out of kids that get sent to them. If it's the same teacher over and over again, then call a parent/teacher conference; if that fails, get your kid out of that teacher's class ASAP.

[knowbody0]

6. he's treating this like it is his own private idaho

we are really open with discussion, the family is multi race. Native American, Irish, and Mexican. my little warrior is 14, has lots of friends, girls call here a lot for him. he's active in sports, gets good grades and has never been in trouble for behavior. i am in thinking mode right now, gathering plans for monday.

[hickman1937]

10. Sounds to me like he's been hurt by this epithet before,

and is using it to outrage people. Lancing the wound maybe. He's got the right. I say trust him, but he's young so don't let him go too far as the young often do.

[knowbody0]

15. that's what im thinking as well

pent up outrage, coming out as he sees fit to make his point. i don't understand 4 calls to the principal's office, except that perhaps they do not understand either. he says the secretary yells at him. i ask "about what?" he says "I don't know because I don't listen when somebody yells at me" (we have a respect deal here at home about not yelling at one another)

[hickman1937]

19. You need to get to the school post haste.

Let them know that if they disagree with your son's behavior you expect them to discuss it with him. Not yell. If he's train-spotting, shooting drugs, or torturing animals they can yell all they want. If he's offering an opinion, or an idea they need to listen and respond calmly. Or end up as the assholes in his first novel. Everyone claims to love children, but what they really want(imho) is a well trained dog.

[knowbody0]

20. thanks for making me smile

when they were way wee i taught my kids to give their backs to anyone who yelled at them.

[hickman1937]

21. Good for you.

"give their backs"? Sounds like you have a touch of the Irish about you. No offense. (In my family that's a compliment.)

[knowbody0]

22. no, this is turning your back on them

to show you will not listen to them
County Claire, here.
cheers

[hickman1937]

23. I know. My Grandmother Mimi used that phrase.

You give your back to anyone who has lost your respect, or is being outrageous. She was second generation so I don't know the county, but her maiden name was, no shit, Moran.
edit for bad typing

[Nevernose]

13. 14? He's not in ninth grade is he?

That and seventh are probably the hardest years for most kids, not only in my own expereience, but in studies as well. Late middle- and early high- school are when most kids seem to internalize racial differences, and the way it's been for many of my minority stuents has been is to render ethnic stereotypes invalid through overusage (nigger, beaner, etc.). I would add on edit that my school is 60-70 percent hispanic, though the district is still fairly Anglo-oriented, and this is fairly common among that age group here

Personally, I'd welcome your kind of kid, the more of him/her the better -- but many teachers are either more old-fashioned or more outright conservative than I am. There are also appropriate times for that sort of commentary and not-so appropriate times for it. This would be the behavioral concerns of the teacher. Fourteen, especially after you've experienced fourteen years of parenthood, may make your kid seem far more mature than he actually is.

[knowbody0]

18. yep, ninth grade

first year in high school. his lates progress report is all B's. he's extra tired, going through a growth spurt.
thanks for sharing your experience.

[Az]

9. Um, just wondering

Do you or your son think Hindu is a racial reference? Its a religious reference. Like calling someone a Christian.

So I am not certain how the comparison is being made. Were there people in the class calling your son a dirty mexican? Who was he taking issue with? Not clear here.

[knowbody0]

11. im only telling you what i know

the topic came up in math class. when i question him about it he has no clear answers. i sense in him that he is unable to articulate his purpose, but that it is heart driven. last weekend was homecoming and a bunch of kids called him the "N" word in a chant.
im just sitting here shaking my head not understanding, not knowing how to advise him. we'll watch "Crash" tomorow, hopefully opening some doors.
thanks for responding

[Az]

14. At a guess

It sounds like he got tagged with some epithets and no one called the perps on it. He may be feeling pretty cheesed at the admin for not standing up against such intolerance. So now he is trying to out them by playing the issue back in their face in a defiant manner.

[knowbody0]

16. we are on the same wave length Az

i feel like i should be doing the mother bear thing, but i have to realize, at 14, boy is manchild.
thanks