Wtf is this? Some people don't deserve to have children

[johnnie]

Police: Ohio Mom Leaves 7-Month-Old Alone 3 Weeks

Police said a mother left her 7-month-old baby alone in her apartment for three weeks while she stayed with a friend, NewsChannel5 partner ONN reported.

Ashley Traylor, 20, was arrested Friday in Covington, about 30 miles north of Dayton.

Her child is being treated for severe malnourishment and is in fair condition.

Police said the baby was nearly lifeless when he was found.

They say he hadn't eaten or had his diaper changed in three weeks. A friend the mother was staying with said Traylor told her that her son was with a babysitter.

Traylor's friends said she often left the child alone while she went to clubs.

They said she wanted the baby to die. Friends said Traylor is pregnant again and has a 3-year-old in foster care.


http://news.yahoo.com/s/wews/20051022/lo_wews/3013485

[ComerPerro]

1. Yuck

[tjdee]

2. Why would she get pregnant over and over if she doesn't want them?

How sad.

[Rabrrrrrr]

21. Because she's incapable of stopping her rutting,

or using birth control (perhaps), and is out of control. Might very well be a drug user/addict, too.

This seems like the very sad life that finds joy only in sex (and even then, probably not much joy), and damn the consequences.

I am very angry with this woman, while at the same time I can empathize with her - hers must be a very empty life, bereft of joy or any sense of self-worth.

[Name removed]

37. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Tallison]

54. I'm in total agreement

Only profound disturbances in a person's psyche would drive them to behave like that. I feel compassion for someone so miserable.

[Rabrrrrrr]

63. Sadly, I know people like this - they have profoundly unhappy lives,

but yet they haven't quite gotten themselves to admit it (perhaps because one of the problems with depression is not having the energy to admit that you're depressed), and so they think they are happy, and part of that happiness is loving to party and hang out with friends (though their friends really aren't friends, they're just all co-enablers and they feed off each other) and possibly do drugs and probably drink a lot and say "fuck the world, we don't need it, all that bullshit from The Man, all I need is my jean jacket and a bottle of hooch and someone to snuggle with" and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah empty platitude after empty platitude, and they don't bother to check their behavior (another sign of depression) so they engage in very risky stuff because, hey, screw The Man, the whole world is against them (which is true in a sense), so they fuck and rut and pop kids out left and right and maybe even get married, and treat their BABIES like princes and princesses for the first two or three weeks ("Look everybody, we fucked!!") and they feel real special because of all the attention and, hell, maybe the mom even quits smoking for a few weeks, but then the diapers and the screaming and the feeding get to be a pain in the ass, so the kid is relegated to "you are interrupting my life", and then, blammo, it either dies because mom decides to go off on a party or a binge, or another abusive boyfriend is brought home who kills the kid or beats it up, or it ends up fat and stupid cuz mom just feeds the kid Doritos and a couple hundred cans of pop a month and never encourages him/her to be anything other than an ignorant unwashed failure beacuse the parent a) doesn't know how, and b) has no self-esteem, and so doesn't want a kid who ends up better than the parent.

Of course, this is a brief summation... but, God I hate to see it, I know these people. And I have family members who are like this, and it pains me - pains me to see them having nothing to live for, and especially pains me that they have no interest in kids other than as some kind of weird-ass possession, but they tend to overbreed anyway.

[antigone382]

64. Wow, I never thought a Rabrrrrrr post could be so...intense.

You've summed up a lot of my frustrations with the world...I don't know how to save these people...I don't know if there's a way at all, but if there isn't a way, then this way of life is guaranteed to continue, the this generation of abandoned children (in more ways than one) creating another generation of abandoned children...it's the shitter, isn't it?

[Rabrrrrrr]

66. I'm always intense!

:P

And yes, it is the shitter - I've never been able to think of a moral, ethical, or legal way to cure this particular problem, EXCEPT perhaps somehow through the public school system.

But the problem is that, even if teachers, schools, and social workers had, let's say, 100 times the budget and manpower they have now, they can only do just so much; at the end of the day, the kid still goes back to the shitty parents who will likely make them unlearn everything, either through pressure, verbal abuse, or just plain beat it out of 'em.

We'd have to have millions of families across the country who say "This is enough!" and open their homes to all the kids in shitty homes, and the state would have to go in and take them all away, and we as a country would have to decide that, yes, let's increase spending on helping these kids by 1000%. THEN, maybe, in a generation we could have eliminated a huge percentage of it.

But then Raytheon and Haliburton wouldn't have cheap, uneducated people who are willing to do shitty jobs for shitty pay, and, shit, you can't expect the republicans to enjoy their wealth if there isn't a huge underclass - how can you enjoy your money if you know that 99% of the country is enjoying the same thing?

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. How sick......and how horrifyingly sad this is....

You are right, my dear johnnie....

Some people should not have children....and this woman is one of them, IMHO.....


Somewhere along the line, she got the idea in her head that kids are some sort of love machine or status symbol or something.....

Or she wanted something/someone to love her.....

And she had NO IDEA how much work kids are.....

And there it is..a nearly dead baby. I just want to cry out for him.

I hope they can find a loving good home for the little guy......:cry:

[johnnie]

4. I am just appalled

I am 41 years old and have always wanted a child. To see these stories really bum me out.

[LisaL]

57. She is on her third kid already. I think she could have figured

out by now children are a lot of work, but yet she keeps on breeding. She is a sorry excuse for a human being.

[arwalden]

5. Three Weeks Is A LONG Time To Survive Without Food And Water.

Hos is this possible?

[johnnie]

6. It's almost unbelievable

A human body has a way to handle this but I think as an adult you would have too many preconceived ideas that would let you die a lot faster. I think a little child just doesn't know so it's little body took care of itself. :shrug:

[arwalden]

7. So A Lack Of "Preconceived Ideas" About How A Body Works...

... would prevent such a little body from dehydrating? Wow. Almost unbelievable is an understatement.

[LisaL]

19. I don't buy it at all. Terri Schiavo only lasted 11 days, and

she didn't have any preconceived ideas.

[histohoney]

9. May be it's a miss print

Three days for a small child, they do dehydrate easily, would be pretty bad for such a small child. Add the fact he probably has not had the best of care already and that crying, heat and fear can stress them quickly. Poor little thing.
I'm all for second chances BUT I think we have a pattern here, CPS should take her new baby as soon as it's born.

[LisaL]

39. Agreed. No way this child lasted 3 weeks without food and water.

It's probably some bad journalism. Most likely it should have read 3 days. This article says the child hasn't been fed in days. That's more likely.
http://news.enquirer.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20051022/NEWS0103/510220410/1059/NEWS01

[gollygee]

55. I agree

I don't think it's possible for a child that age to survive that long without food or water. When our daughter is sick we have always been warned that babies and young children get dehydrated very easily and quickly.

[Shine]

8. Stories like that break my heart.

:cry:

We had a really sad one happen here, in the SF Bay area this week. A 23 yr old schizophrenic mother threw her three children, all under 6 yrs old, into the SF Bay. They've only been able to find the body of one of them so far...

So tragic... :cry:

[fudge stripe cookays]

10. Oh so she was schizophrenic?

I hadn't heard that part. Just the initial report.

Sad indeed. Both stories.

fsc

[Shine]

12. Yup, and off her meds. The story goes on that her family had

actually looked into having the kids taken from her before, but not enough attention was paid and she slipped through the cracks of the system.

sooo sad... :(

[Kathryn STone]

30. that one in SF makes me upset what in the world didn't anybody help?

[Shine]

62. I guess it happened so fast, nobody had the chance to do anything

The authorities responded within 4 minutes, but the water was so damm murky, their little bodies couldn't be seen.

:cry: It's just so sad....

On a happier note, welcome to DU, Kathryn! :hi: Hope you like it here.

Shine

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

11. I can't have kids, and stories like this ENRAGE me

I would dearly love to have a child of my own, just one, but sadly, am unable to do so. It always seems that women who would do this to a child are able to keep whomping them out (with apologies to the more fertile among us).

[Love Bug]

13. Could you imagine how stories like this

might increase, if abortion were made illegal?

Woman have options to prevent pregnancy, and to end unwanted ones, why would a woman keep having children she obviously doesn't want?

[Arugula Latte]

14. I'm amazed that baby lived that long.

How could it the baby survive w/out liquid for that long?

[ContraBass Black]

15. A baby survived alone for three weeks?

Without food and water, I wouldn't live that long.

[LisaL]

18. Yes, I don't know who the baby lasted that long either.

No food, no water. I would think-couple of weeks, tops.

[GCP]

16. Instant sterilization as soon as the next one's born

And instant placement of the baby for adoption.
This monster cannot be allowed to bring any more innocent babies into the world to be abused like this.

[RoyGBiv]

17. I agree ...

I am not prone to having opinions such as this, but in certain cases -- and this would be one of them -- people need to have their ability to harm others taken away from them. This person has exhibited a clear patter of abuse and neglect and should not be allowed to produce or care for children in any way.

But of course we have to make sure no locing homosexual couples adopt children first. That's the priority. :sarcasm:

[ContraBass Black]

22. Absolutely not.

Forced sterilization opens the door to bigots and fools who want to push eugenics.

[GCP]

34. Then call me a bigot

She left this baby to die.

[LisaL]

36. They won't sterilize her. Probably will just keep on removing

her children after they are born. These children will suffer all their lives because she most likely drinks and does other things while she is pregnant. Would that make you happy?

[ContraBass Black]

38. No, it woudn't

But I am not willing to throw reproductive rights to the wind.

[LisaL]

40. Most on DU were upset when a fundie woman had 16 kids.

At least she cares for them all. This one is only 20. She is pregnant with her third already. She doesn't care for any of them. She goes out and parties, leaving her baby to starve. By the time she is 60, she can easily have more than 16, and not care for any of them. So, all the state should do is keep on removing those poor babies, who will never have a normal life because it's highly unlikely this "mother" is doing anything regarding pre-natal care?

[DS1]

46. She should be spayed, just like any other hyena

[LisaL]

47. I am pretty sure any hyena would take better care of her offsprings.

[ContraBass Black]

49. If they can do it to her, they can do it to anyone.

That isn't an acceptable solution. Another will have to be found.

[Tallison]

58. Damn straight

There's a million measures our country could implement to reduce the incidence of this kind of thing before taking away what should be an inalienable right. Of course, that's not the direction our society seems to be going nowadays...

[DS1]

44. Oh fucking WAAAAAHHHH!

Are you gonna cry?

[ContraBass Black]

50. No.

But I won't go insane and start taking aim at personal and reproductive rights either.

[Left Is Write]

52. I agree with you.

If they can do it to her, they can do it to anyone.

I seem to remember a program some years ago (did I see it on television? I can't remember) in which women were offered a sum of money to agree to sterilization. I don't remember details, but it was controversial. I'll have to see what I can find on Google.

I think this woman's actions are sick, and she should be punished, but to me, forced sterilization is the other side of the coin from forced gestation.

[Tallison]

56. Well said

You can't cure every extreme with equal an opposite force. Sometimes you have to resort to research on the subject, intelligence, and creativity.

Of course, then you wouldn't get the brute satisfaction that comes with being a hardass.

[St. Jarvitude]

69. Do you support castrating child molesters? (nt)

[Left Is Write]

20. Something similar happened in Minnesota some years ago.

I can't remember how long ago. 10 years? I really don't remember. I used to know the woman's name, but I can't remember.

Anyway, she was young - early 20s - and she left her 6-month-old daughter in her Apple Valley, MN apartment while she flew to San Francisco to visit her boyfriend (I think he was in the military). She had allegedly arranged for a babysitter, but the sitter hadn't arrived by the time she left. One of her friends had actually stopped into the apartment the same day or the next day and found it empty (so he thought). The baby didn't make it. I remember reading that the friend felt horrible that he hadn't known the baby was there when he stopped in, that he didn't save her.

Those news stories were awful. I couldn't hear about it without crying.

[GreenPartyVoter]

25. I used to have nightmares that I lost my babies or forgot them somewhere.

Given the panic attacks I awakened with I cannot fathom purposely leaving them like that.

Mind boggling. Had to have been something wrong in the minds of those mums.

[Floogeldy]

23. Deserve has nothing to do with it.

It would be a REALLY BAD IDEA for government to attempt to regulate sex or pregnancy.

Know what I mean?

[BlueIris]

27. Glad someone posted this. Jesus. Where am I, the FR?

Yes, I understand that what she did was horribly wrong, and I hope she does not get to raise anymore kids. But screw that nasty, judgmental, "some people don't deserve to" attitude. Seriously, WTF? "Deserve"?! All those embracing their disdain for parents who don't meet their standards, and who think it's acceptable to insinuate there should be a collective standard of "worthiness to procreate," or something even more disgusting, need to sit down and smack themselves really hard in the face.

[TheProphetess]

29. Wow - "disdain for parents who don't meet their standards"?

I think this is clearly a case of someone who doesn't deserve to be a parent. I'm guessing we all could agree that there are different ideas about what makes a good parent but this goes WAY beyond not meeting someone's "standards of parenting." This is neglect practically to the point of death.

The judgmental nature of saying that this woman doesn't deserve to be a parent comes from her own actions of almost killing her child. This is not a case of a parent not doing what we'd like her or him to do - this is horribly wrong behavior that almost resulted in a dead child.

Sorry if that makes those of us who find this story to be tremendously disturbing seem like we are judgmental.

[Floogeldy]

31. Your judging her means nothing.

What is this?

I urge you to immediately denounce government ordered, forced sterilization.

[TheProphetess]

48. Forced sterilization? You're looking for something that is simply not here

Neither I nor the OP are advocating for government ordered, forced sterilization.

By saying this person does not "deserve" to be a parent, you assume that must be advocation of forced sterilization - that could not be farther from the truth. As I explained, this outrage is directed at the fact that this person almost KILLED her own child. It has nothing to do with the government stepping in and deciding who should be parents. At this point, however, it is appropriate for the government to step in and decide who should have custody of these children - her behavior is criminal and deserves punishment. And, clearly, this woman needs help.

Edited for clarity.

[johnnie]

41. I meant "deserve" as in the big picture

Not all this sterilization bullshit. I think you read too deep into my post.

[Left Is Write]

53. For what it's worth, I understood what you meant.

[johnnie]

59. Thank you

I guess I have to spell things out a lot better for the sake of some people. I would never be for the forced sterilization of people.

[Rabrrrrrr]

65. Oh, I don't know - I think there SHOULD be a "worthiness to procreate"

collective standard. I think it would be wonderful, if we, as a society, could agree on what it means to be a parent, and for those who refuse to agree to that, that they can't have children.

Obviously, we can't legally do that; and I'm not sure if we could even try morally or ethically to actually implement it.

But I still think there should be a collective standard.

I think the best we could do is make it a tacit understanding, make it part of our very culture itself (not legally), that we, as a culture, simply hold very standards for parents, to the extent that people will say "Wow, I probably sbould control my rutting, because I'd make an awful parent" and, at the same time, remove the stigma of not having children so that women don't feel forced into it in order to "find happiness".

If we make it just as okay to be childless as to have children, AND decided, as a society, that parenting is something to be taken VERY seriously, perhaps we could evolve ourselves as a species.

[TheProphetess]

28. With all due respect, I think Johnnie's point is a valid one

You're right that we don't want the government regulating who has children. But I think that the point of the title of this thread is that this woman, who clearly finds her child to be too much of a nuisance to provide with basic needs (at the very least) does not deserve the title of "mother" - that's my interpretation anyway. Makes me think of the phrase "anyone can be a father but it takes much more to be a dad."

[Floogeldy]

32. Great

You do not have to call her "Mother."

We have criminal laws, which I trust will be used against her, to punish people who neglect or kill children.

I share your outrage.

[johnnie]

42. Thank you

I meant just what you said. It is a shame that people can do this to their own children.

[GreenPartyVoter]

24. 3 weeks? Is that even possible??? And heck, even 3 hours is too long

to leave a little baby. :cry:

[fortyfeetunder]

26. there was a case out here where 2 died of starvation

think it was a baby and a toddler while the mom went on a drinking binge in another room. the third sibling barely survived. And CPS had no clue....

yes, I get angry about women who have kids then neglect them. But I fear we've created a culture where it was "valuable" to keep children at any cost, and that the "bio" parent is the "best" parent under any circumstances, even if the "bio" parent is even incapable of caring for his/her self....

[flvegan]

33. Ok, wait a minute

In an apartment...nobody heard the child crying the first couple/few days, maybe walking by the door. And then, maybe not having seen the mother around, no suspicion?

This friend she was with for 3 weeks..."with a babysitter?" for 3 weeks? Did mom call said babysitter every few hours to check on the kid, or not? Seems odd.

[LisaL]

35. Even if the child was crying, how would the neighbors know

the mother was not around? It's not like babies stop crying when the mother is there. The friend she was with likely couldn't care less about that baby, just like the mother. And as for neighbors noticing the mother wasn't there-I sure don't keep the track of who of my neighbors is there or not.

[DS1]

43. Meanwhile families who can't have their own biological kids are

sent through the wringer when trying to adopt.

[Deja Q]

45. Agreed. OTOH,

if peoples' fates are to starve and dehydrate, you're less likely to be cognisant of it at 1 year old than you are at 31 years...

[Missy Vixen]

61. One of my friends

couldn't control her tears when another woman at our place of work demanded to know why she didn't have kids. It seems my friend is infertile. I can't imagine two people who would be more wonderful and caring parents. I also can't imagine someone else who would be clueless enough to quiz her about something so personal, but that's me.

Julie

[freethought]

51. Sounds like my brother's present girlfriend

Let me tell you, this woman is piece of work. She has three children from 3 different fathers, none of them husbands. What kept her situation from being a tragedy was the good sense of her parents. Her parents assumed custody of the children. For good reason, she has had her tubes tied. I don't know who talked her into that, her parents, the courts, but someone deserves a great deal of credit.

Why does my brother stay with this woman? Easy! Money! She has an annuity derived from an accident settlement apparantly worth about 3-4 million dollars. She gets a payment every month and 1 big payment a year. I had the dishonor of meeting her about 2 years ago. I tolerated her for my brother's sake, but that tolerance was short lived. The rest of my family hates her.

This woman in Dayton is truely sick.

[Missy Vixen]

60. Let me edit

Where's the fund to pay for a tubal ligation for this woman? I'd happily chip in $20. I want her (and others like her,) to decide that they don't need to have any more children.

God, I'm sick when I think of that poor baby, and the three year old, and the one who isn't born yet.

:mad:
Julie

[rasputin1952]

67. Some people are truly sick. I cannot fathom how anyone could allow

something like this to happen...:cry:

[Pithlet]

68. I don't understand it, either.

:cry: