Editorial: iPod Porn - The Time Has Come

[matcom]

<snip>

I am the first. At least, I am the first I know of to think of this idea at this very moment in time, in this exact space, which you are right now reading, given that I'm quite sure that the very minute Apple announced its sexy, delicious new video-capable iPod, roughly 5 million people -- and most of them men -- simultaneously thought of it too.

No matter. I shall henceforth argue that I was one of the first to think of turning my genius iPod porn idea into an instant company, writing up a business plan and hiring a programmer and a team of lawyers and investing a wad of someone else's VC cash into renting a stack of servers and outsourcing my tech support to Bangalore, India, because, oh my God, the idea is just right there, ripe and waiting, and I could sure use the millions of dollars I would surely make in one single month.

IPod porn. The time has come. The idea is brilliantly, geniusly simple.

Here it is: The new iPod, as the world now knows, plays video. You can download reformatted music videos, scaled-down episodes of "Lost" and "Desperate Housewives," some Pixar shorts and a couple of weird teen shows you've never heard of, and you only pay 2 bucks apiece for the privilege, which, apparently, some people are actually doing because God knows you can't have enough 1-inch-high Eva Longorias in bad black negligees.

Apple being Apple, this advance has been hailed as either the Second Coming of television, the Innovation That Will Change Everything, or it's a resounding thud, a remains-to-be-seen microadvance in excessive gizmo fetishism that most people beyond TiVo-addicted media fanatics won't care much about because, after all, who the hell wants to pay for some old show on a 2.5-inch screen? Isn't that why God invented 100-inch plasma TVs and cheap DVD players and laziness and beer? Damn right.

Did you already figure it out? Of course you did. Porn is the answer. Porn will make it all happen. I only want my $50 mil finder's fee.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2005/10/21/DDGLFFB16K1.DTL&type=printable

[Scoots]

1. Literally.

[WCGreen]

2. Why would anyone want to get one inch high porn..

There seems to be a ready made market for HUGE porn images, like the wide High Def screens....

But would you really want porn in HDTV...

That could be way to revealing...

[Orsino]

3. Great! Now we know....

...what the next Congressional crusade will involve, as they do their best to avoid real work.

[ThatsMyBarack]

4. I thought they already invented this

[plcdude]

5. great article

but failed to identify download sites with password overwrites but you can always "pm" to those of us now wanting to purchase i-pods.

[northzax]

6. too late

it's been done, I stumbled on one last week. I won't link to it, for Children in the Room reasons, but if you want it, pm me. It's even point of view porn, you just hold your iPod, well never mind.

[mac56]

7. I've always wondered why there isn't View-Master porn.

Doesn't that seem like a logical application?

[Xithras]

9. Patents

Fisher Price owns the patents to the ViewMaster round image card thingie. If you want to make ViewMaster cards, you have to get their permission AND pay them a royalty.

They refuse to give permission to anything that isn't specifically kid-friendly.

[mac56]

10. That makes sense -

but how about illicit cards? Somebody else must have thought of this once upon a time.

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

8. If only it was 8 years earlier, dude could have founded his own dot com

for this, raised 100mil venture capital, and had an IPO and cashed out his worthless shares for another 100mil, all in 8 months time.