Bible website teaches adherents how to recognize sex talk w/ youths.

[Maddy McCall]

This is too funny. This is a webpage for the Bible Ocean website that lists all slang terms used to discuss sex, so that when your little Johnny or Janie start "doing it," you can monitor their discussions and know what's happening.

Here are some of the terms they list for intercourse:

Sexual intercourse
Terms for sexual intercourse may refer to vaginal intercourse (coitus) or anal intercourse.


Vaginal intercourse (coitus)
Vaginal intercourse is when the penis is inserted into the vagina, and pushed in and pulled out (though usually not all the way out) repeatedly.

A
Aardvarking
Adam and Eve'ing It
Afternoon delight
Ammo move
Assassinating the cooter
Aztec two-step
Aztec Carpet Munching

B
Baby dancing (especially when trying to conceive)
Baking cookies
Baking the bean
Baking the beef
Baking the tube steak
Balling
Ball Twanglin'
Bam! Bam! (Family Guy reference)
Banging
Bare arsed boxing
Barking the Surly Nanny
Bashing the beaver
Bashing the bush
Beast with two backs
Beating cakes
Beating cheeks
Beating it up
Beating that thing up
Beaver busting
Bed wrestling
Bedding
Bedroom fun
Beef injection
Being in a woman's Beef
Being up to one's balls
Being up to ya nuts in guts
Bending one in
Beso de Payaso (Spanish) (see "Rainbow Kiss")
Big Banging
Birds and the bees, just like the
Bisecting the Triangle
Blast 'er in the Bush
Boarding the ham train to Pussyopolis
Boffing your brains out
Boinking
Boom-booming
"Boom-shaka-laka-laka-laka (x3) Boom" (also refers to a song)
Bone dancing
Boning
Bonking
Boofing
Bopping
Boshing
Bouncy Hugs
Bouncing the bearded clam
Boxing the goat nut on a good tuesday (From the movie Van Wilder 2)
Breaking her off proper
Breeding
Bringing ol' one eye to the optometrist (from the movie Grumpy Old Men)
Buffing the beaver
Bumping and grinding
Bumping bellies
Bumping fuzzies
Bumping nasties
Bumping uglies
Bumping Skins
Burning soup (dinner is forgotten)
Burying the baby leg
Burying the baldy fella (Dublineese)
Burying the bone
Burying the general
Burying the weasel
Burying the weenie
Bush patrolling
Busting
Busting a nut
Busting the cherry (first-time intercourse)
Buttering the muffin
Buzzing the Brillo
Buzzing the honey hole

You HAVE to go to the site to read this whole page. I can't control my laughing...it's the funniest thing I've ever read on the internet, simply because it isn't meant to be funny.

http://bibleocean.com/OmniDefinition/Sexual_slang

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Mods, I hope that this doesn't break the sex rule at DU--I posted it as more of a commentary on just how out of touch these people are.

[hfojvt]

1. what about oral sex? That's what most married couples do.

It's when you pass in the hallway and say 'fu$% you' to each other.

[drhilarius]

2. "Aardvarking "?

Yes, nothing gets my motor going like thinking about the sensual, erotic dance that is the aardvark mating ritual. Oh, I see it now, my love quivering with aardvark like anticipation.

Btw, this list is proof that fundies have nothing but sex on the brain.

[Peter Frank]

3. I'm Kinda' Fond of...

...Doing the mattress mambo