Help I need Funny Epithets

[proud patriot]

for a graveyard I'm making for Halloween .

Got any ideas ?

[AllegroRondo]

1. Disney had some good ones at the Haunted Mansion

wish I could remember them.

Here lies dear old Ned
a great big rock fell on his head.

[ohiosmith]

2. Some good ones here:

http://www.geocities.com/draka_dracula/FunEpis.html

[WilliamPitt]

3. I Told You I Was Sick

[skygazer]

4. LOL - You mean epitaphs

Epithets are names you call someone, like idiot or cuckoobananas.

[proud patriot]

10. Crap , yeah I meant epitaphs

:dunce: <--- me

[democracyindanger]

5. Um...

I think you mean 'epitaphs'

An epithet would be something like 'd*ckbrain,' 's*iteater,' 'poo-filled-bag-of-skin,' etc.

But those would be pretty funny on a tombstone, too...

[Jara sang]

6. Here are some:

Karl Rove, I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, Tom Delay, Jack Abramhoff, Judy Miller.

[Justpat]

7. Here are a couple from old New England graveyards.

Under the sod
And under the trees
Lies the body of Johnathan Peas

He is not here
There is only the pod
Peas shelled out
And went to God.



And this one must refer to some medical precursor
to Alka Seltzer:

Here lies the body of Susan Lowder
Who burst while drinking Seidlitz Powder

Gone to her home and her heavenly rest
She should have waited till it effervesced.

[skygazer]

8. I rather liked this one

Born 1903 - Died 1922
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if
the car was on the way down.
It was.

If you type "funny epitaphs" into your search engine, it comes up with a few.

[Justpat]

9. Another one..

Here lies of Lester Moore
Killed by a blast from a forty four

No Les
No Moore

[Aristus]

11. My favorite:

"Here lies Ann Mann
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann"

[DemReadingDU]

12. Have a pet cemetery

Mr.Ed, Lassie, Red Baron, Jaws, Rin Tin Tin, Felix

[Breeze54]

13. ok and so easy to find..........

Here lies John Yeast,
Pardon me for not rising.

--------------------------
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake,
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake!

--------------------------------------
Here lies Lester Moore,
Four slugs from a forty-four.
No Les,
No Moore.

--Boothill Cemetery, Tombstone Ariz.

-----------------------------------------------
Here lies an atheist,
All dressed up and,
No place to go.

---------------------------------------------
Clark Gable: Back to silents.

---------------------------------------------

I TOLD you I was sick! --Epitaph of a hypochondriac.

-----------------------------------------------------
Here lays Butch.

We planted him raw.

He was quick on the trigger

But slow on the draw.

-------------------------------------

Boot Hill Museum, Dodge City, Kansas
---
Here lies the body of Arkansas Jim.

We made the mistake, But the joke's on him.

-------------------------------------------------------

Larne, Ireland - On a hanged sheep stealer

Here lies the body of

Thomas Kemp.

Who lived by wool

and died by hemp.

Bletchley, Bucks, England

----------------------------------

He got a fish-bone in his throat

and then he sang an angel note.

Schenectady, New York

---------------------------------

On a Coal-miner

Gone Underground For Good

-----------------------------------

On an Auctioneer:

Jedediah Goodwin

Auctioneer

Born 1828

Going!

Going!!

Gone!!!

1876

--------------------------------

On a waiter:

Here lies the body of

Detlof Swenson.

Waiter.

God finally caught his eye.

April 10, 1902

-------------------------

When I die I want to go peacefully
in my sleep like my grandfather.
not screaming........
like the passengers in his car.

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:rofl: