BREAKING: Bush Hopes He's Found A Purr-fect Miers Replacement

[ClusterFreak]

**EMBARGOED UNTIL 6AM, FRIDAY, OCTOBER 28, 2005**

Willie, is he the next swing vote?



October 28/05
Washington, D.C. - In a stunning turnaround development, President George W. Bush has announced a lightning-quick replacement for embattled know-nothing Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers.

The President has once again looked no further than his line of sight within the White House walls, in the selection process of his next SCOTUS nominee.

That nominee is Willie, the White House cat.

This is the first time a feline has been selected by a U.S. president to serve on the high court. Mr. Bush, in announcing his selection of Willie, told a gathered White House press corps in the Rose Garden that this nominee was "one cool cat". The president's attempt at humour was met mostly with stone cold silence, although one reporter was said to have heard Jeff Gannon dutifully chuckling somewhere off in the distance.

"Willie shares my judicial philosophy" Bush continued, "I have looked into his eyes and I know his heart. He's a good cat. And most importantly, he will not legislate from the bench."

The president offered another quip before allowing Willie to hop up to the microphone "Willie likes Fancy Feast by the way, likes it a lot. That, and the occasional bowl of milk."

Following another awkward silence, Willie meowed that he was indeed humbled and honoured to be considered for a seat on the highest court in the land. He then jumped down off the podium, and rubbed around Scott McLellan's legs, who was seated nearby, hoping for a treat. Willie, hoping, that is.

Whether or not Willie, the presidential cat, will be conservative enough to satisfy Mr. Bush's base, that remains to be seen. Said one unnamed Hill staffer, "This cat would do well to reconsider more than just 'Sylvester vs. Tweety'.

Mee-oww.

[nickinSTL]

1. It'd never be Willie

Cats aren't loyal enough for Bush...

The family dog is a much better bet.