I just spotted Trick-or-Treaters in the neighborhood, and I have no candy

[Cats Against Frist]

Should I give them:

[Lone_Wolf_Moderate]

1. Give them excerpts of Derrida, Foucault, and Lacan.

They'll never come to your house again. You'll have so successfully warped their minds, the last thing they'll be thinking is candy. :)

BTW, I'm not actually recommending this.

[XemaSab]

3. I was thinking you could whip up some tracts

only instead of the Bible, it could be Sartre, Nietzche, Machiavelli, etc. The most cynical minds of western civilization. :D

[Cats Against Frist]

8. I was thinking Deleuze & Guattari

That's some scary, scary shit.

[Lone_Wolf_Moderate]

13. You're not kidding.

Although, Baudrillard and Lacan make Deleuze and Guattari almost manageable.

[tigereye]

14. look mom I got Lacan

well really, it's something else, but the decons are still arguing about the actual signifier!

[Doc Sardonic]

2. rocks and a stack of business cards...........

if you're in the window business

[YellowRubberDuckie]

4. Pennies?

:shrug:

[MarsThe Cat]

5. how about calendars?

it's a one-day event, NOT a 3-day holiday weekend festivus.

[hickman1937]

6. As they're 3 days early, call the police.

Probably casing your joint for their parents.
edit for a comma

[Cats Against Frist]

7. And they weren't in costume, either

They went to both my neighbors' houses, but skipped mine, apparently. I live in kind of a creepy Victorian house, but it is bright turquoise, so who knows. We're sort of new in town.

[hickman1937]

11. How old were they?

Might be a joke, or a family of kids with really crappy parents/guardians/caretakers.

[DainBramaged]

9. I just laughed my ass off, wait let me find it again

Rolls of toilet paper, old tv tubes, single shoes without a match, pencils or pens, and the old stand by, pennies from your penny jar.


All totally meaningless to kids.

[JVS]

10. Fuck em! It's not the 31st!

[gardenista]

12. How about a fucking CALENDAR?

Halloween is Monday night.

I don't like those little extortionists stretching out the holiday all in search of more, more, more candy.

Little bastards.

:sarcasm:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

15. Take the trick...

You're supposed to buy your Halloween candy in August, so it'll be stale when they get it.

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

16. Pour cans of creamed corn into a big bowl and ladle it into their bags

I've got lots of cans of creamed corn in my food cabinet, just in case Armageddon arrives.