Why won't my scumfuck roommate stop coughing?

[DS1]

He's healthy, he's a "fitness instructor", doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, or do anything like that.


But he coughs, this annoying cough, every 20 seconds. I've timed it. What the fuck is wrong with this fucker? No wonder his girlfriend dumped him, I couldn't deal with someone that coughed every 20 seconds.

:wtf:

[ScreamingMeemie]

1. It could be acid reflux. Seriously. One of the sypmtoms of GERD

is a nagging cough. Tell him to get his tummy checked out.

[DS1]

2. Can you get that from eating nothing but sugary bullshit?

I wake up to some lameass blueberry pancake smells whenever he cooks.

[ScreamingMeemie]

6. I would imagine yes. He might have gotten it from a hiatal hernia

which many, many fitness freaks suffer from. Awww, DS1, if you were closer, you could have our basement. It's finished with a bath and everything. And we, being perfect of course, have no annoying habits. ;)

[DS1]

9. Yes, even your former mulletude is corrected

:toast:

[KitchenWitch]

13. Hey, she never had a mullet!

Just big hair!

[DS1]

16. I was talking about Mr. Grumpy

You stand corrected :D

[KitchenWitch]

I *sit* corrected

:rofl:

[DS1]

18. This is DS1, signing out from Mrs. Grumpy's basement!

:rofl:

That would be too much!

[ScreamingMeemie]

22. .

:spray: :rofl: We'd let you up for dinner and stuff....

[alarcojon]

29. My guess is acid reflux

I have it, and when I eat shit I'm not supposed to, I get a dry cough (not every twenty seconds, though). A hiatal hernia just makes things worse - they are common throughout the population.

The symptoms of reflux are worsened by acidic foods (orange juice, tomatoes,...), fatty foods, caffeine (coffee, colas, chocolate,...), spearmint, and, in some people, spicy foods.

Get a new roommate and, if you can muster up the compassion, tell the cougher to get checked for GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease). If left undiagnosed and untreated, it can progress to more serious things.

[HysteryDiagnosis]

36. GERD..... link

www.molocure.com

[DS1]

67. No, it's not GERD

Nor is it Gurdy

Thrown like a star in my vast sleep
I open my eyes to take a peep
To find that I was by the sea
Gazing with tranquillity.
'Twas then when the Hurdy Gurdy Man
Came singing songs of love,
Then when the Hurdy Gurdy Man
Came singing songs of love.
Hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy, gurdy he sang.
Hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy, gurdy he sang.
Hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy, gurdy he sang.
Histories of ages past
Unenlightened shadows cast
Down through all eternity
The crying of humanity.
'Tis then when the Hurdy Gurdy Man
Comes singing songs of love,
Then when the Hurdy Gurdy Man
Comes singing songs of love.
Hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy, gurdy he sang.
Hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy.
Hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy, gurdy he sang.
Hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy, gurdy he sang.
Here comes the roly poly man and he's singing songs of love,
Roly poly, roly poly, roly poly, poly he sang.
Hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy, gurdy he sang,
Hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy, gurdy he sang?

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

3. It could be all kinds of things. Has he seen a doctor to be evaluated

about this? You might "politely suggest" this to him, if he hasn't done so.

[DS1]

5. Naah, I'd rather he died

:shrug:

[Mutley]

4. Is he always like that, or did he just start recently?

Maybe he has a cold.

[DS1]

7. Always

ALLLL WAYS!!! :nuke:

[Mutley]

12. Weird. I have no idea why, then.

:crazy:

[JanMichael]

8. Probably just some kind of cancer; but I wouldn't feel guilty or anything

about your annoyance with a physical problem of someone else's.

Maybe you should get a new roommate.

No, I don't care if you are in the dorms; colleges are used to dealing with roommate problems.

[DS1]

11. Not in the dorms, all but done with college

when to college on the GI Bill nickel, but thanks for your concern

[JanMichael]

15. Sorry, I didn't know how old you were.

Well, then, you needn't worry about dorm problems then; you can just get a new roommate.

[sundog]

10. why is it that health nuts are often the most sickly people?

not always, just an observation of mine

[DS1]

14. I dunno

Triathletes seem to drop dead every now and then. I think people shouldn't push themselves that hard. You know, swimming ten miles, biking a hundred miles, then running a fucking marathon in the desert heat - surely nothing can go wrong :eyes:

He coughed 4 times in the amount of time it took me to write this.

Make that 5.

[yvr girl]

20. *cough*

Perhaps he's *cough* just trying to piss *cough* *cough* you off. It seems *cough* to be working. *cough*

[DS1]

23. You just got my vote for most evilest DUer

:toast:

:fart:

[yvr girl]

24. And I didn't have to kiss a baby

:woohoo:

I WILL win this election.

[DS1]

28. I'm laughing so hard I'm crying

:D

[yvr girl]

33. Too much glee for true evilness?

DAMN.

mmm...





I don't need your fucking vote, Shithead - like you even matter.













(How was that?)

[DS1]

34. Your attempts at making me want you are clearly a present danger

and are subsequently dismissed.

[yvr girl]

38. Was I flirting?

I thought I was campaigning.

Clearly, I need to study up on my American politics.

[JVS]

44. Bummer! There's no :fart: emoticon!

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

30. Hahaha...when I surfed I was sick all the time

of course, I was surfing at the river jetties which were often contaminated with raw sewage....haven't had an ear nor eye infection in 5 years :D

[DS1]

40. Heh, I used to go snorkeling in Hawaii as the sun came up

in a bay, over the world's largest hammerhead breeding ground, and loved every moment of it. I also "surfed" some amphibious tanks in, it's amazing how much speed you can pick up if you catch the right wave, in 27 ton's worth of metal.

[sundog]

51. ack

did you know about that while you were surfing, or did you find out about it after?

or did you not give a shit so to speak :P

[DS1]

56. I knew about it

and still went there

playing with death, head over shoulders, young, dumb, and full of cum, so to speak

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

I surfed from the time I was a kid and the Surfrider foundation

only began testing those waters regularly in the 90's. After that, yes..I must admit...I wanted good waves in spite of the dangers that lurked. There's no better deathwish than to die while surfing. Ask anyone who's done it for any length of time.

[DS1]

60. .

:toast:

[sundog]

61. i think the shark issue would give me the biggest rush

yeah, i'm one of those who constantly likes to flirt with death/danger

not a surfer, but i have lived that way most of my life

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

63. Funniest thing in the world

I went surfing on my 40th birthday and was looking back waiting for a wave. I looked forward at the shore and noticed lots of people lined up looking at me..an unusual amount. I looked around and saw two fins in the water over to my right. I immediately knew they were baby dolphins, not sharks ...they came to swim around me and play...but then mama came along and I had to get the hell outta there...mama dolphins are VERY protective of their young and when they get up under your board, that's a pain that's gonna linger.

I've seen sharks many times in water. They really don't attack to the degree people think they do.

Actually, the worst part of surfing and the most painful part are the rocks.

[FLSurfer]

84. Just curious, did you stop surfing or stop

surfing river mouths?

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

85. Had to stop in 2000 due to back surgery

one wrong move and I will be in a brace for months...can't twist at the waist...otherwise, I'd surf a toilet bowl for a good ride.

My friends and I were out in the water here in the mid 80's during our last big tsunami warning...coast guard flew over and told us to paddle in or we'd be arrested

[FLSurfer]

88. Definitely one of my greatest fears is an

injury that would force me to stop surfing.
I'm sorry it happened to you.
You must be a strong person to cope without surfing.
I'm sure I would go crazy.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

89. I am now seeing that I did

It's hard to realize an important part of your life is over.

One of the funniest things that happened when I first came to DU was that I shared my history..I used to surf semi-pro...got some paid vacations to do photo shoots and the like (not as many women in surfing back then) This one fellow, an older gentleman, it turns out owned a surf shop in Myrtle Beach...turns out we MAY have met and we have some common acquaintances. Small world, surfing is.

I miss it...I look at the ocean now and it is a stranger to me...I really miss the high...the exuberance...the fucking exhaustion...and the tequila slammers in Mexico :evilgrin:

[FLSurfer]

90. We may also have some friends in common.

I know a few women pros from back when there weren't so many out there.
I am blessed to consider Frieda Zamba one of my friends.
Is that name dropping?

Sorry if I drug up a tough subject for you.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

92. Rofl..I met her and hubby once here at the OP's

and I am pretty sure she was at an event at the Outrigger Canoe Club that I did in Hawaii in the 90's ...you know kona smoke..you forget shit :evilgrin:

Of course, she was pro, I was semi-pro...never committed the time since I had a real job (number one faux pas of surfing is to have a real job :D)

It's not tough, it's fine...it's just I have been dealing with some stuff lately and it came up as a huge loss...so far the 00's have been more about loss for me than anything.

I was cleaning out some old crap this weekend and came across some videos that a friend and I produced back in the 90's for Corky. Do you know him?

[FLSurfer]

95. If you mean Corky Carrol, I've not met him

but am familiar with who he is.
I think I remember him doing Surfer Magazine videos
back in the 90's ?

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

101. Yep...they were instructional videos

anyway...I have a bunch of them

[Deep13]

104. Why do you think we are health nuts?

It is because we are tired of being sick. Duh.

[Democrats_win]

17. Bronchitis? Try Robitussin. It happens, be cool.

[DS1]

19. No, really

It's been going on since he moved in. Almost like tourettes, which he managed to suppress during all the "let's see if we like you" talks.

[GOPisEvil]

21. You were a Marine, aren't there 5 ways you can kill him with your pinky?

[JanMichael]

25. or a square of toilet paper if he doesn't want to dirty his pinky

nt

[DS1]

27. that would be MOST fitting

His nickname happens to be "shitpaper" because he NEVER replaces the TP, and has his own stash.

[DS1]

26. Oh, fuck yea

and believe me I've considered the options.

Hide in his back seat then cut his throat, then drive him and his car to the local quarry.


Do the coke-bottle silencer routine, cap him in the head and heart to make sure he's dead - clean up the mess, then cut him small enough for the sink's waste disposal.

Knock him off with a baseball bat, then leave him unconscious on the railroad tracks.

Silent takedown, then say he fell down the stairs.

and HEY, FUCKER! I'm ALWAYS A MARINE! :grr:

[jmm]

31. allergies?

My little sister always sounded like she had a cold was misdiagnosed with asthma before everyone listened to my rants and realized she had allergies.

[DS1]

32. are they lethal?

[jmm]

53. Can be and if he thinks

being a fitness instructor, not smoking, and not drinking means he can ignore the cough and does not seek help the chances are even more likely.

[HysteryDiagnosis]

35. How did you get this slide of his

lung tissue???? ON EDIT: Added link since GERD has come up, "No pun intended" ----> www.molocure.com

[miss_kitty]

37. esophageal cancer, lung cancer?

:shrug:

[LincolnMcGrath]

39. Tourette Syndrome - Tourette's Disorder

:applause:

[DS1]

43. No, it's not Tourettes, I've worked with tourette's before

and this isn't Tourett's. Our elite group of high school friends were so fucking elite that we planned out and compensated for his Tourettes, and still managed to break into and rob an undisclosed location. A process that required timing of disabling lighting, beating motion detectors, and other things we thought up, which allowed us to use the skinniest of us (the dude with tourettes) to climb through a gate, and so on and so forth.

[LincolnMcGrath]

46. Sounds like you fellas took 'Eliteness' to that whole 'Nuther Level'

*forwarding thread to local PD*

[DS1]

49. evil cackle

there is no local PD that could identify us by that thread :D

but :thumbsup: for trying!

[LincolnMcGrath]

54. I still say it is Tourettes.

And your local PD will be able to extract the info out of you. :evilgrin:

*Laughs Like MoJo JoJo*

[DS1]

58. *grin*

There was nothing left behind

[terrya]

41. How should I know? I'm not a doctor.

:shrug:

[Gato Moteado]

42. is he a freeper?

nt

[WCGreen]

45. Hey I cough a lot... I have a disabling respiratory disease...

So you want me and my kind to be expelled to a colony so you can enjoy a cough free zone.....

[gardenista]

47. Um, I think that's the whole point. nt

[WCGreen]

48. And you call yourself a democrat...

Good for you.

[DS1]

50. It's not about a disabling condition

It's about making a habit of coughing, because I know it's a habit because he's been silent for the last 40 minutes while looking over pictures.

I'm sorry you have your condition, but I'm sure you didn't ask for it, nor did you preface it with artificial conditions.

[WCGreen]

52. When I cough bad, I usually leave the room....

It's the polite thing to do...

Accepting people for what they are goes two ways...

Your room mate seems to have issues other than a nagging cough...

[In_The_Wind]

55. Could you elaborate on that opinion a little more.

[Elidor]

57. It is impossible to say how first the idea entered my brain

But, once conceived, it haunted me day and night. Object there was none. Passion there was none. He had never wronged me. He had never given me insult. I think it was his cough! Yes, that was it! He coughed every twenty seconds, night and day, and once I noticed it, I could not stop thinking about it! That stupid hacking wore on my fucking nerves, and so by degrees, very gradually, I made up my mind to kill the stupid fucker, and thus rid myself of his stupid cough for ever.

[DS1]

59. BRAVO!!!

[Elidor]

62. I had an assist from Mr. Poe

:7

[Midlodemocrat]

64. He's only doing it because he knows it annoys you.

Roommates are like that. You should get rid of him and get a dog.

[jus_the_facts]

65. GIVE him something to cough about....

....blow bong hits in his face every opportunity you get. :hi:

[DS1]

66. haahah

I knew there was a reason I liked you :hi:

[jus_the_facts]

68. s'definitely what I'd do if given the opportunity.....

[CanuckAmok]

69. Scare him.

Oh, wait... that's for hiccups.

Cockpunch him.

[ignatius 2]

70. My dad's friend does that also..she saw a doctor who gave her

something to calm her down, it seems it was a stress related thing. Also,a little more compassion might be in order, I sincerely doubt it is intentional.

[jayctravis]

71. Diane Rehm had a guest on who discussed the affliction

she has...which apparently is a spasming of the vocal cords that essentially is a nervous tic. Could his coughing be a reaction to that? I have a friend who does this almost as a nervous habit, in which case nothing short of therapy will stop it.

Buy him some Chloraseptic spray or Sucrets lozenges, which both contain anasthetic for the throat and see if that stops it.

[NoSunWithoutShadow]

72. I sympathize.

My office mate has horrible coughing spells. We think she is on the verge of dying. And she never covers her mouth when coughing. (That's almost criminal.) Does your roommate cough into a kleenex?

But seriously, there is a huge uptake on adult whooping cough. It can be a dry cough.

Maybe you could suggest that he see a doctor about whooping cough or suggest that he move because whooping cough is a serious affliction.

Here's a website where you can actually listen to the types of coughing associated with whooping cough.

http://www.whoopingcough.net/

Good luck, annoying roommates are not worth your time; ask him to find other living conditions.

[SOteric]

73. You could try retraining him

by tasering hizzass every time he even looks like he might cough.

Or you could issue your elite team of non-Tourette's doggie minions each a bazooka with instructions to take him out the next time he clears his throat. (Expect failure, rumour has it they're not too bright.)

Or, - here's a thought: You could move.

[maveric]

74. Does he engage in 420 action?

I have a friend that is healthy, no smoking cigs but loves his weed. Always hacking.

[DS1]

75. No, did you miss the OP?

[GCP]

76. Maybe it's the waves of pure hatred emanating from you that make him

Nervous??
:hide:

[name not needed]

77. Put sawdust in his food.

[DS1]

78. God fucking damn

I hope he dies, the stupid Bush-loving fuck

[DainBramaged]

79. Why not just move, or throw it out, why be annoyed?

Are you sure it isn't a Rovian plant to annoy you?

[GCP]

80. DS1 used to have a T-shirt with "Dain Bramaged" on it

I should know - I bought it for him :evilgrin:

[I Have A Dream]

82. Oh, so he's a B* supporter. That wasn't mentioned in the original post.

Makes sense that your tolerance for annoying things would be lower since he's already annoying you just by his presence. (Which is the case for me sometimes when I'm around B* supporters.)

I definitely couldn't live with a B* supporter, and the coughing on top of it is just the icing on the cake.

Deep down, the real issue is that he's a "Bush-loving fuck", right??? (Would be for me!)

[Deep13]

108. Actually, he just made that up to make his complaint more sympathetic.

That's why it wasn't mentioned earlier.

[salin]

86. This is the second time in a year

that I have had a 'chronic cough'. Almost knocked it out sevearal weeks ago - but due to work got soaked and then froze - and that seemed to bring the whole thing back. Seems that while the cough is the most notable sympton (to others) - it is more tied to sinus problems.

Sixty hour to eighty hour work weeks can contribute the situation. Am eating cough drops while I work to try to mitigate the irritation factor to others.

Fortunately I have my own house so I am not driving any roomates nuts while I suffer/get through this.

[ignatius 2]

91. Hi Salin,I don't know if you remember me but we met at a picnic

Kef had put together in Broad Ripple.

I am sorry to hear that you don't feel well,it sounds as if a trip to the doctor for some anti-biotics might be in order.

Take care,get lots of rest and get better soon.

[salin]

97. Of course I remember you!

Thanks for the kind sentiment! :hi:

[SlavesandBulldozers]

93. oh he loves the chimp?

easy. demonic possession.

[SOteric]

81. Just out of curiousity...

whatever happened to "Kinder, gentler DS1?"

Did Sparky McCrankyPants slap the fuck out of him or something?

[TallahasseeGrannie]

83. Sounds like a nervous habit to me

although the GERD thing could be right, too. I cough in the morning if I don't take Nexium.

But I'm a lot older than he is.

[DemoTex]

87. Zestril (ACE inhibitor) or other new B/P meds?

All B/P meds, except the beta-blockers, induce bronchitis in me. Beta-blockers (atenolol) make me extremely lethargic. That is why I, like Owen (Throw Mama from the Train), am G-R-O-U-N-D-E-D!

My wife and I had to do separate bedrooms and separate hotel rooms when we traveled in late 2001 and 2002, due to my drug-induced cough (yep .. every 20 seconds). I went through six Z-Pacs (antibiotics for bronchitis) in ten months.

A persistent cough like that is indicative of nothing good. Roomy needs to see a physician. STAT!

Mac

[helnwhls]

94. he is a human being who somtimes falls prey to illness

and you are a selfish ass who thinks the world revolves around you.

That does makes you as human as him. Do the repub;lican thing and kill him for not doing exactly what you want, by being quiet. Be even more republican by claiming you did nothing wrong by killing him and blaiming his death on him for provoking you by daring to be ill. (He would have threatened your democratic rights with his illness if you do not kill him now)

[Deep13]

107. here, here.

[fudge stripe cookays]

96. Sounds like the woman in the office next to me....

at my last job.

Drove me fucking MENTAL. CLEARED her throat every five minutes. Evidently, she had a problem with wheat products, gluten and eggs (food allergies).

She drove me up a fucking wall (with the added bit that she was an ardent Bushie).

I'm SOOOOOOOO glad I don't have to listen to that anymore.

fsc

[Deep13]

98. For me, the coughing is caused by the following.

1. anxiety. Is he a pretty introverted person? Anyway, bitching or making him feel self conscious will only make it worse.

2. allergies. Post nasal drip is irritating his throat.

3. asthma or chronic sinusitis. Irritates the throat.

In my case it is all three, and people who bitched about it should have remembered that whatever annoyance it was to them, it was a catastrophe for me as I was instantly a social pariah whenever I walked into a room. I don't know what caused this dude's problem, but for me it was the fact that when I was 18 months old, cars had metal dashboards and no one used car seats.

At any rate, ask him about it in a civil manner instead of talking to the world behind his back like a coward.

P.S.
Someone in my freshman class had the nerve to send me an anonymous note bitching about that pretending to speak for the class. His (or her) solution was a magical glass of water which he seemed to think could cure anything. I did not have the chance to tell the damn fool that the whole building reeked of cigarette smoke.

[Rabrrrrrr]

99. It's a Republican plot. Since their national-level house of cards plots

are all falling apart, they've been reduced to annoying democrats with ceaseless coughing.

Soon, though, their movement will be entirely dead.

[cleofus1]

100. perhaps a regimen of steroids

sounds like his cough has become chronic...after awhile your throat becomes acclimated to coughing...so force him to the doctors...either hit him in the head and knock him out...or force him into a steamer trunk...either way get him to a doctor...becouse he will be even more irritating if he dies on you...there is nothing worse than a dead body in the dead of winter....nothing....

[Loonman]

102. Piss on his bed

I would.

[Deep13]

103. Yeah, anything to avoid discussing it.

Vandalism is certainly justified for such a heinous offense like coughing. What would stop the roommate from returning the favor or simply making a police report.

[Loonman]

105. Okay, mom

I'll wash behind my ears, too.

[Deep13]

106. When cornered by facts, try counter-accusations.

[LynneSin]

109. So is this what you do all day - sit around and time your roomies' bodily

functions?

:shrug: