Metal Council Convenes To Discuss 'Metal Hand Sign' Abuse

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/42365

VATNAJÖKULL GLACIER, ICELAND—In an emergency session Tuesday, members of the Supreme Metal Council strongly condemned the increasing use of the metal hand sign in lay society, claiming that its meaning has become perverted by overuse.


Elders of the Supreme Metal Council examine amateur-video evidence of what they are calling "a worrisome trend."



"The metal sign, or 'sign of the goat,' has all but lost its impact as a token of respectful recognition for something truly 'rocking' or 'metal,'" SMC president Terence "Geezer" Butler said. According to Butler, members are upset that their sacred gesture is being used to acknowledge and celebrate "favorable but clearly non-metal events."

"We have all heard the reports of people using it to greet their in-laws, or after starting their lawn mowers with a single pull," Butler said. "But recently it was brought to our attention that someone used the gesture in a Texas convenience store after snagging the last box of carrot cakes. This simply won't do."

[Lilith Velkor]

1. kick - HUGH!11

:headbang:

[sakabatou]

9. sharp like an edge of a samurai sword

the mental blade cut through flesh and bone
though my mind's at peace, the world out of order
missing the inner heat, life gets colder
oh yes, I have to find my path
no less, walk on earth, water, and fire
the elements compose a magnum opus
my modus is operandi is amalgam
steel packed tight in microchip
on my arm a sign of all-pro
the ultimate reward is honor, not awards
at odds with the times in wars with no lords

a freelancer,
a battle cry of a hawk make a dove fly and a tear dry
wonder why a lone wolf don't run with a klan
only trust your instincts and be one with the plan

some days, some nights
some live, some die
in the way of the samurai
some fight, some bleed
sun up to sun down
the sons of a battlecry

some days, some nights
some live, some die
in the way of the samurai
some fight, some bleed
sun up to sun down
the sons of a battlecry

[Lilith Velkor]

10. ...

:headbang:

[no name no slogan]

2. Yo, dude

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x4278435

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

3. I 'm still the coolest!

[no name no slogan]

4. That is beyond dispute, of course

:D

[Scoots]

5. Isn't it sacrilige not to have Ronnie James Dio on the council of elders?

Or did he abdicate his controlling shares to Tenacious D?

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

6. He's in a home

But we will sing a song about him.

[Scoots]

8. Just so long as he's very well taken care of.

[MrSlayer]

7. Hilarious.

The Onion rules.

[GirlinContempt]

11. LOL

[GirlinContempt]

12. kick

[painted_black]

13. ROFLMAO!!!

The funny thing is, I LOVE metal and this is the funniest thing I've ever read. I like Motley Crue, Cradle of Filth, Motorhead, Metallica, Dimmu Borgir, H.I.M, etc.


Funny thing is that I'm bisexual too. Bet that's the first time you heard of a half fag metalhead:headbang:

[Scoots]

14. Log Cabin Metalheads?

[painted_black]

15. ROFLMAO!!

I guess so. No Judy Garland or Andrew Loyd Webber for me:headbang:

[asthmaticeog]

20. *cough cough* HALFORD *cough cough*

Granted, he's full-on, but it's not like homo- and bi-sexuality in metal are without precedent.

Also, Tommy Lee. That Pam Anderson video is SO transparently a beard. :eyes:

[XemaSab]

16. I was just thinking the other day that MONSTERA

would be a good name for a metal band.

:headbang:

[AntiCoup2K4]

17. Are Chimpy & Pickles "metal"??

[Scoots]

19. In the same way Pat Boone is metal

[PittPoliSci]

18. that article rocks!

\\m//

!!!