My wife laughed at me tonight

[Pale Blue Dot]

We were watching "Law & Order" tonight when a commercial came on for the Dogde Durango. My borther-in-law just bought an SUV, with the excuse that he's about to have his third child. I hate that commercial, and it set me off. I mentioned how I would never buy an SUV, how my parents had three kids, and lots of people had three kids in the 70s, and somehow they got by without buying a vehicle that guzzles gas and is horrible for the environment. I told her I thought SUVs were evil and selfish. And then she broke out laughing. AT me.

Now, I'll admit to being a little over-the-top with my "evil" comment. But my wife knows how deep my convictions are, even if she does not share them and I do not share them with her because of it. I could accept her challenging me, arguing with me, or ignoring me, but when she burst out laughing it really hurt.

In her defence, she knew what she had done and apologized almost right away. But I can't let it go. It felt like a betrayal.

Am I over-reacting?

[ScreamingMeemie]

1. Maybe it was the choice of words? I think I would let it go.

She apologized for hurting you, and there are a lot of worse things that could happen. Although I know how that feels. My husband at times laughs at my in his words,"fanaticism with the wrongs of the Bush administration" and that really bites sometimes.

:hug: Laura

[TennesseeWalker]

2. yes

let it go

[Frangible]

3. Don't worry, there are worse things she could laugh about...

:evilgrin:

But seriously, is it realistic for her to share your every view in the world? She probably does respect them, but laughter was probably a natural response to you being a lil over the top (don't get me wrong, I don't like SUVs either). Cause and effect, and all that.

[Catherine Vincent]

4. She probably laughed at the part where you said

SUVs were evil and selfish. Dude, cars don't realize what they are doing.

[Pale Blue Dot]

5. Thanks for the responses so far

I'm calming down, and it looks like I'll have to go apologize for not accepting her apology.:spank:

[pinkpops]

6. SUVs are everywhere

The first couple I knew with one were outgoing frisbee players who drove all over the country when they could. I don't think it was extra big, and I didn't think much of it at the time. Now there are dozens of various sizes which (I am told) people choose to suit their self image. You and I may be choosing our (smaller) cars for similar reasons. I know what you mean about the rationalization of having children, etc. Or because it's safer (HA) or you can see better (only nobody can see around you). Sometimes I hate them too. But EVIL - I hate that word. Selfish, maybe. Mostly I think they are victims of advertising.

[Pale Blue Dot]

10. OK, now I am starting to laugh at myself

Beer and outrage do not go well together, I guess. :shrug:

[ScreamingMeemie]

15. Okay, now I am giggling (ever so slightly) at you.

Beer and outrage. heehee.

:)

[Pale Blue Dot]

17. DO NOT LAUGH AT ME!!!!

Well, OK, maybe I was a little silly.... :-)

[ScreamingMeemie]

19. It was a kind and caring giggle...

honest. :)

[SOteric]

7. It's very likely that the combination of

your phrasing, your expression and the circumstance just struck her funny. I've had that happen.

She apologised, so it seems to me she's got no intention of hurting, mocking or embarrassing you.

Let it go.

If it continues or becomes a pattern, then come on back and we'll talk.

[carpetbagger]

8. Maybe she had good reason to laugh.

My parents had two cars in the mid-late 1970's.

AMC Pacers got 17 mpg, and mid-70's Ford LTDs got about 14mpg.

[DemoTex]

9. I am equally passionate on many causes (SUVs included).

Sometimes my wife thinks I've gone too far. She, too, has, laughed. But she always joins me, in the end, on the left end of the spectrum.

Now, Finnfan, you come to us with a wife who has chuckled and then "apologized almost right away," to use your words. Sounds to me like she loves and respects you. Cling to her. You don't have to buy a damned SUV, and maybe you should cool your jets when the SUV commercials come on TV. Focus on consumerism in general. Maybe. I don't know!


On edit: Find the common ground, and scale those rocky hills.

[supernova]

11. The one flaw in your argument

(as an INTJ I feel compelled to point this out, :P)

Is that in the 70s most family cars were in fact, gas-guzzling behemoths that were bad for the environment. Remember the station wagon? Remember leaded gas? And the "evil" is that nobody cared, even after the energy crisis. Some people did by toyotas and Datsuns, but it wasn't the norm in suburbia.

My point is that quite likely, you would have had a family car much bigger than you envision now. And that's what's funny. Sorry if it hurts.

[Guaranteed]

12. Well, you know, it IS kinder funny!

:)

Sometimes you just gotta laugh at yourself, you know? We say funny stuff, kinda go over the edge. It's alright.

[SPellier]

13. Yup

Focusing your political hatred on a vehicle or the people who drive those vehicles IS a bit silly.

Lobby for mpg regulations, lobby for hybrids, lobby for public transportation, but going nuts because someone drives (or advertises) a certain vehicle is counterproductive. I cringe every time I read another post in which someone, presumably on my side of the political fence, harrassed a stranger driving a Hummer...

Big tent party, right?

[Pale Blue Dot]

18. I have to argue with you a little here

If people stopped drivng SUVs, auto companies would stop making them. That's what happened at the end of the 70s in the fuel crisis: people stopped buying their gas-guzzlers, so auto manufacturers had to start making more fuel efficient cars. So I will continue to rail against the drivers of SUVS, except maybe I won't use such colorful language. :-)

[ameriphile]

14. Here's what you do.

Very calmly explain to your wife that, while you were caught up in the passion of the moment, you misspoke, and that you meant to say that you consider SUVs, RVs and extended-cab pickup trucks as comprising an automotive "axis of evil". Then try to tie it all in to 9/11.

[Pale Blue Dot]

16. LOL

That'll work. I'll try that.

[Ellen Forradalom]

20. You probably were a bit comical looking

while carrying on.

[Pale Blue Dot]

21. I'm a bit comical looking anyway

:-)

[Red State Rebel]

22. I have a Suburban and would never part with it.

I am the director of a youth performance organization. I have to carry a 300 lb. vinyl gym floor cover to our weekly rehearsals plus our sound system and some of the kids equipment (flags, rifles and sabres). When we travel to competitions I also have it full of the kids too.

I don't think it's fair to make a wholesale condemnation of everyone that owns one.

http://www.bravada.org (no, they aren't named after the SUV!)

[arikara]

23. I often laugh at someone when they're on a rant

Because I think the passion and drama is funny. Even when I agree with them. Usually they start laughing at themselves too but a time or 2 they've become offended and its hard to apologize because its really hard to explain why you were laughing.

Tell your wife I understand...

[JackSwift]

24. Well, it is kinda funny

Doesn't change that you were right. You were pompous too, but right.

[3rdParty]

25. Well, look at the bright side.....

its better then her bursting out laughing at you when you drop your pants!

[Buns_of_Fire]

27. That never bothered me

But having her say "Wait a minute" while she started looking around for a magnifying glass and tweezers DID hurt my feelings a little...

[Aristus]

26. Shoot man, my wife laughs at me all the time. And doesn't apologize

for it. I just keep her constantly in stitches. Be nice if it was intentional. :-)