Write a fucking sonnet, you lazy bastards!

[JVS]

Haiku's and one-line poems: the dumbing down of poetic tradition.

Here's a definition from the dictionary of literary terms

Sonnet
A lyric poem of fourteen lines whose rhyme scheme is fixed. The rhyme scheme in the Italian form as typified in the sonnets of Petrarch is abbaabba cdecde. The Petrarchian sonnet has two divisions: the first is of eight lines (the octave), and the second is of six lines (the sestet). The rhyme scheme of the English, or Shakespearean sonnet is abab cdcd efef gg. (See Rhyme Scheme) The change of rhyme in the English sonnet is coincidental with a change of theme in the poem. SeeTheme.The meter is iambic pentameter.
See Meter for more information.

http://www.tnellen.com/cybereng/lit_terms/terms/3terms.html#Sonnet

Martin Opitz thought that the abba abba ccd eed rhyme scheme was best.

[SoCalDem]

1. Ow...my head hurts..can I go to the nurse's office?

You're a mean substitute..the real teacher is waaaay nicer:)

[Montauk6]

2. I LOVE a challenge (tee-hee)

I'm try'n to write a very pointless poem,
A load of crap that mocks the sonnet form
A pile of shite that stinks up ev'ry dorm
I got a parking ticket while in Rome
It cost much less than that I got in Nome

Yeah, you're right; it is tough!

[JVS]

6. To Monty Hall

Three roads diverged in a yellow wood, a gameshow host at the fork
He promised that at the end of one road, marvelous riches would be.
Then the destination of a traveler, was the object of his inquiry
The traveler picked the center road, and went forth on it like a dork

The gameshow host spoke to the man, "Heed my advice though it sounds insane
If you were to pick the leftmost road, a goat is all you'd win"
The traveler stopped with a puzzled gaze and scratched upon his chin
"What profits it me to know this sir, unless I were to pick again?"

If I were to choose between these roads, my chances should be fifty fifty
But what happens here is something else which really is quite nifty
The odds are two in three that the first road I've picked is wrong

So when I chart the outcomes out, I reason that I should switch
For it's a two-thirds chance that if I do, I'll be able to strike it rich
So our traveler tipped his cap to the host and went happily along.

[Montauk6]

7. Wait! Stop! Hold it!

I thought it was supposed to be 10 beats per line. You're givin' me Prufrock oveh heah!

[JVS]

8. Actually, you can write in any Iambic

Or you can throw rhythm to the dogs as many sonnets do. I've been reading the sonnets of Andreas Gryphius to write a term paper, many are alexandrine (i.e iambic hexameter), but adherence is often loose and sometimes practically non-existant.

In fact one really fun thing to do is revise your sonnet over many years and then when you are dead people will look at the final edition before you died and comment on how you came closer and closer to the formula.

[Montauk6]

11. Yeah, I just did some checking...

It seems that, for example, French sonnets (or for the wingtards lurking, "Freedom" sonnets) go up to 12 syllables while Italian ones go to 11.

[ForrestGump]

3. I don't understand this whole "abbaabba cdecde" thing, but I'll try.

abba



abba



cd



ec



de




Frankly, to me it makes no sense at all. Not a fan of poetry so deep and pretentious that it cannot be fathomed.

[Hardrada]

4. What's it worth to ya?

[hfojvt]

5. I think I am close by adding two lines to an old poem

but I am not sure about the meter.

Study Study

there was a time i used to brag
but school for me is now a drag
i sometimes feel it's not my fate
to someday ever graduate

and though this knowledge fills my brain
my bosses still will want to train
it seems to me i shouldn't study
things of no use to anybody

but tomorrow i have a test
and so my doubts i put to rest
for if i quit this silly game
i'll lose my only path to fame

yet life goes on and degrees conferred
prove one bitter truth, college abjured

[Heidi]

9. You'll need to ask more politely, I'm afraid,

and remove the apostrophe in "Haiku's," which is plural rather than possessive in the contest of the original post. :evilgrin:

[JVS]

10. Just do what you're told!

[Heidi]

12. I have performance anxiety.

You know what that is. Dontcha? :evilgrin:

[JVS]

13. I never have anxiety about my performance.

If I am disappointing, that's other people's problem

[Heidi]

14. Thank you for your honesty.

We'll keep your application on file. ;)

[Dangerously Amused]

15. People, people! Can no one follow directions here?!

He asked for a FUCKING sonnet. Why then all this sonnetesque drivel about game show hosts and school days and such?

I personally wrote a splendid and well known Fucking Sonnet, which begins:

"There once was a man from Nantucket..."

I should adore to share the rest of it with you, alas I fear doing so may shut down the thread.

Cheerio.

[JVS]

16. The man from Nantucket is not a sonnet!

I believe that it has AABB in the first four lines