Why do I have such bad luck with men?

[Darth_Kitten]

:(

Biological father was a disturbed man from a bad family(also schizophrenic perhaps?), mother divorced very early and got no support whatsoever. Still a disturbed individual. Then, step father was from a dysfunctional family and was alcoholic and made things bad and embarrassing for most of my teen years. :( And we lived in a small town. :(

Didn't date for most of my 20's (went through major depression) and the only lasting relationship I had ended a few years ago and I don't know why.

I guess I'm feeling a little down (just read ex's last letter to me) :( Do I just have bad luck or what? :shrug:

[joeybee12]

1. Nah, it's just that men are pigs!

Not all of them, of course, but I do like making blanket statements about my own sex. Too bad I want to date them also!

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

2. No, not all. Just 99.999389245729457%

Roughly.

[joeybee12]

4. Really??? Then hope springs eternal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[MercutioATC]

3. Hey, I only seem to attract women who aren't good for me....

Ex-wife (with whom I'm good friends now), girlfriends...they've all caused me to change (for the better, I hope), but none have been the comfortable, exciting relationship I'd hoped for.

Finding the "right" person ain't easy....

[fishnfla]

5. Freud could tell you

As for me, I can only say: If they have one they are one.

[leftofthedial]

6. sad as it is (and it may not make you feel any better)

women who had crappy fathers often find themselves attracted to crappy boyfriends or secretly sabotaging relationships.

Be yourself. Think about what (and who) you want. Be honest and accepting. It's a two-way street.

[Darth_Kitten]

9. No, I didn't get the fathering I needed........

I still don't get men. :shrug: So many nice ones, but where was my luck? :shrug:

[leftofthedial]

16. sometimes I feel the same way about women!

Just keep trying to find what will make you happy.

[NaMeaHou]

7. Ask mom

about making poor choices.

[Darth_Kitten]

12. Oh, she knows....

Both of my parents have taken responsibility for what went on. (alcoholic and my mom "enabled" him) She meant well but things were pretty screwy for my teen years.
She's a good person and I love her very much. They both have changed.:)

[NaMeaHou]

14. Having them understand and take responsibility is excellent

it doesn't happen that often.

Good luck - :)

[Faygo Kid]

8. Give it up. I did with women.

Too tough, too complicated. Married for 18 years, pretty good guy, never cheated (she did), good provider, called her every day (at least once), regular flowers, vacationed together all the time, paid for her PhD, respected and admired her politics, VERY good Dad, loved her family and still do. Second wife: loved her, too, but she lived alone for 14 years before we were married, and couldn't stand another presence in HER house (mistake on my part - buy a new one together). Tain't worth it. Lots of faults here, and know it, but never again. Get some good books, and good friends. I am done. It's not all bad. Won't go there again.

[no_hypocrisy]

10. You should not feel bad about having high standards, especially where

men are concerned. Relationships invite you to be vulnerable. Nothing wrong with that. But you need a special person to share yourself with.

Keep searching and be patient.

[Elidor]

11. Don't be sad, kitty

You're too smart to base your self-worth on whether you have a relationship. It's too easy to think you're the only one with bad luck. Love is hard for everyone. You're smart, funny, personable and compassionate. Give it time. Someone will see you for what you are and cherish you accordingly.

And throw out those stupid letters. They'll never do anything but bring you down.

We love you here at DU. :hug:

[Darth_Kitten]

15. Thanks!

Just venting and sharing. I've kept too much to myself so I figured I would share things. :)

[neuvocat]

13. You probably feel that

you aren't good enough for something better than what you already had, even though you are.

Sure it doesn't make any sense, but its probably true. Try your best to consider that and see what you come up with. It might blow your mind!

[Don_G]

17. Where Where You?

I'm a guy and have always had a problem with women taking advantage of me.

[Nlighten1]

18. There is a chance you are still suffering from depression.

While you are suffering things tend to fall apart. I suffered from depression for the better part of 20 years. I never managed to keep a relationship with a woman or a friend for long. Until I got professional help and got on medications.

It was the greatest thing I ever did.

[xultar]

19. It could be Karma, why cuz I was named after a woman who

dumped her fiance so now I can't even get a hook up. It was all her fault. If she hadn't dumped that dude I'd have better luck with the men folk. I truly believe it.