Tell me a good joke.

[Scruffbunny]

They will be loved and cherished.

[skygazer]

1. You'll love this one

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"

[salin]

2. *snicker*

[Scruffbunny]

3. *mumblemumble*

How many times has that one gone around? There should be a counter.

[KyndCulture]

6. God just killed another kitten!

[no name no slogan]

12. Dubya, Rummy and three Brazilian soldiers walk into a bar

the bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"

[proud2BlibKansan]

4. You know why blind people don't skydive?

It scares the hell out of their dogs.

[Sanity Claws]

5. I smiled!

Your joke worked.
I want to hear more like that.

[DS1]

7. An old man and his wife have gone to bed.

After laying there a few minutes the old man farts and says,"Seven Points."

His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"
The old man replied, "It's fart football!"

A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says - "Touchdown, tie score!"

After about five minutes the old man farts again and says - "Touchdown, I'm ahead 14 to 7!"

Not to be outdone the wife rips another one and says, - "Touchdown, tie score!" Five seconds go by and she lets out a squeaker and says - "Field goal, I lead 17 to 14!"

Now the pressures on and the old man refuses to get beat by a woman so he strains real hard but to no avail. Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable he gives it everything he has but instead of farting he poops the bed.

The wife looks and says, "What the heck was that?"
The old man replied, "Half-time, switch sides!"

[proud2BlibKansan]

10. An old man and his wife are out in the yard doing yardwork.

The wife bends over and the husband says "Honey your ass is getting huge, why it is bigger than that bbq grill on the patio!"

Later that night, he rolls over in bed and starts snuggling his wife. She pulls back and says "Now if you think I am going to fire up this huge grill for that little bitty weanie, you are mistaken."

[mwooldri]

8. Joke changed to protect the innocent.

George Bush was seen running to and fro, between the Oval Office to the White House mail room. A Senior Aide to the President asked him if he was expecting something very important to come in the mail, because he keeps running to and from the mail room. Mr. Bush said no, he wasn't expecting anything important and besides, the Post Office had already delivered the mail for the day earlier on. So the Aide asked the obvious question why he was running between the Oval Office and the Mail Room.

Mr. Bush said, "Well the computer keeps telling me I've got mail."

(This previously was in Blonde format).

[Deja Q]

9. I'm HMOphobic. Ask me anything.

[Sanity Claws]

11. If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring?

Pilgrims!