I think I'm about to lose my relationship

[lildreamer316]

due to alcohol.
Yes, I know I posted about another problem earlier; but on reflection with a couple of ppl in the know about the whole situation, it seems this stems from the alcoholic behavior my SO is demonstrating (not that that excuses my actions of earlier; but that is another story). I am realizing that the ultimatium I laid down not long ago is going to have to be honored; and my family will probably be broken up for awhile. I am so scared and upset but I know I must do this. I wanted to ask what alternatives to AA are out there; since he has a very strong aversion to being preached to (that's what he thinks will happen there).
This so fucking sucks. I love this man and want no other. I have been lucky enough to find love twice in my life and now it seems I will lose the second one also.
Sorry to bitch so much to all of you; it is just one of those days. I am trying to be grateful for all the wonderful things in my life and remember that I am very lucky.
Okay; I will shut up now. Love to all...and sorry once again.

[Crazy Guggenheim]

1. I hate to say it but you're going to have to let him rot for a while. It

might be the best thing.

:hug:

[lildreamer316]

2. Yep

I know. It just sucks. Wish we didn't have to go through that; but what do you do. Can't live his life for him.
Thanks.

[CanuckAmok]

3. Go find an Al-Anon meeting for yourself.

"Al-Anon offers understanding help; support to families and friends of problem drinkers. Our program is adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous and is based upon the Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions and Twelve Concepts of Service."


http://www.alanon.org.za/

[barb162]

5. great idea

[CaliforniaPeggy]

4. I am so sorry......

:hug:

You have my complete and entire support....

You are not alone here....

[lildreamer316]

11. Thanks hon...

I made a big mistake last night and I believe that this all stems from the same problem. I am dissapointed in myself because I thought I was further progressed than this...but I guess we all have more to learn than we thought. I appreciate the support.

[barb162]

6. I am not asking and don't expect you to reveal tit

but maybe you don't have to leave as long as you don't enable and follow the alanon program. just a thought

[lildreamer316]

8. You think so?

i just want him to understand that I will not accept his abusive treatment of me when he is drunk. He is very verbally abusive and throws/breaks things. He also does NOT remember that he does this; he literally changes personalities after more than one shot/drink of liquor. He does not believe me when I tell him later what he has said and done. He lies to me when he is drunk about how much he has had to drink.
I think that the only way he is going to understand that i am serious is to spend some time away. I would like to be wrong; but I just don't think he can help himself.
I will def. check into the al anon program per your and others' suggestion; thanks.

[CanuckAmok]

9. just an aside, but I think you *should* reveat tit.

Maybe later, though.

[lildreamer316]

12. LOL

too late (see my earlier post):evilgrin:

[Shine]

7. Get thee to an Al-Anon meeting.

I am sorry you are having this challenge, but you are also being given the opportunity to practice setting healthy emotional boundaries. You cannot change him, but you can change yourself.
Good luck and many blessings to you.
:hug:

[lildreamer316]

10. Thanks..

I will try to remember that it is an opportunity for me.