Post 5 blatant lies about 5 DUers

[dolo amber]

1. matcom was in Wang Chung.
2. terrya's real first name is "Mortimer".
3. MrsGrumpy is really Mike Ditka.
4. kick-ass-bob's dream job is to be a Hooter's girl.
5. It wasn't a dingo...XNASA ate my baby. :cry:

[kmla]

1. 1. Dolo Amber's real name isn't Amber. It's Dolo.

2. Mrs. Grumpy has an extensive collection of plastic silverware, with a complete collection of sporks.
3. GOPisEvil is really Eddie Deezen's younger brother. (See pic below)
4. CaliforniaPeggy has a complete collection of "The 'A' Team" on DVD, and is saddened that Mr. T has never won an Emmy.
5. BigMcLargeHuge's entire shoe collection consists of white patent leather loafers.

See #3....

[terrya]

2. Yes...that's a blatant lie

Dear God...going through life with a name like that. :scared:

[Debi]

3. 1. LynneSin HATES cowbell

2. Matcom's favorite color is Chartreuse
3. Shell Beau hats small fuzzy creatures
4. Southlandsheri is from the North
5. SunDog is not from this planet

[progmom]

8. how scared are you that we both fixated on the color chartreuse?

:scared:

[Debi]

17. Hee Hee - it just sounds naughty!

Kind of like mastication :blush:

[texas1928]

12. Fossil?

:shrug:

[Debi]

18. Ugliest color for a sofa ever!

Just kidding, What color is your karma?

[texas1928]

21. Is my what?

what the heck is a karma?

[Debi]

28. I believe it's a chameleon

[DS1]

4. Rabrrrrrr is really The Magistrate letting loose

Squeech hates stringed instruments
sniffa insists on his ladies wearing ski boots at all times
Beware the BM loves me
ForrestGump isn't after my girl :evilgrin:

[Debi]

19. Um I think the Sniffa one is true...n/t

[ForrestGump]

36. It's not me, dude

It's these accursed pheromones. :P

I mean, I can't even walk down the street...

[asthmaticeog]

5. lies-all lies

1) Frustrated by the lack of electrical outlets in his house, no name no slogan had his genitals, nipples and anus replaced with 3-prong outlets. The electricity is generated by his brainwaves when he holds his breath too long.

2) Taxloss is not actually an Englishman, but in fact a galactic emissary from Alpha Centauri, his mission as yet unknown even to him.

3) GirlInContempt? Apparently it depends on how loosely you define "girl."

4 & 5) Beware the Beast Man and Cathyclismic were the real-life inspiration for Erich Segal's "Love Story." Except for the whole dying thing.

[no name no slogan]

54. DAMMIT! The truth is finally out

1) Frustrated by the lack of electrical outlets in his house, no name no slogan had his genitals, nipples and anus replaced with 3-prong outlets. The electricity is generated by his brainwaves when he holds his breath too long.

But you should see the coin I'm saving on my power bills

[progmom]

6. well....

1. dolo amber is actually more chartreuse than amber
2. texas1928 is actually from manhattan, kansas
3. beware the beastman has a very small record collection
4. SOteric serves store-bought pies (but calls the homemade)
5. tattoos cover the entire lower portion of CaliforniaPeggy's torso.

[SOteric]

59. Pies? notsomuch,

but if you can tell me a grocery where I can find a rum soaked genoise or a hazelnut dacquoise available for purchase....

[progmom]

73. find the hazelnut dacquoise and i will be right over

:hi:

[matcom]

7. i WAS in Wang Chung!

x( why don't you BELIEVE ME?

:cry:

[Richardo]

10. You were 'Chung', weren't you?

Careful on the reply, matcom.

[matcom]

11. no

;)

[KamaAina]

25. Well, then, that explains why they were a one-hit wonder

if you were all the "Wang" they had! :evilgrin:

[dolo amber]

52. ...

:spray:

[texas1928]

9. 1. GOPis Evil secretly has an altar to Mack Brown in his house.

2. Progmom hates Jazz.
3. Sundog hates ABBA
4. Rev_Acts never kissed Sniffa
5. CaliforniaPeggy is from Cleveland and she drives a Hummer.:P

[La Lioness Priyanka]

13. rabrrrrrrrrrrr is stupid

misunderestimator is a bitch
redqueen is immoral
lionesspriyanka hasnt ever dated a du'er
khaska is having an affair with leftymom

[khashka]

27. I would like to set the record straight...

Statement number 5 is NOT a lie.


Khash.

[KamaAina]

34. Who's rabrrrrrrrrrrr?

Did he tell you you could add all those extra 'r's? 'R' inflation is what's killing this country, I tell you!

[Rabrrrrrr]

63. Hee hee - thanks for offering that as a lie!

[XemaSab]

14. California Peggy and sundog are conjoined twins

Oeditpus Rex was piloting the Exxon Valdez when it hit the reef

Xmas74 eats only frosted flakes with chocolate milk

The Magistrate is really a FReeper named Cletus living in Boron, California

[sundog]

29. she said lies sweetie

[XemaSab]

33. Who???

Your conjoined twin?

How awful! :cry:

[sundog]

35. there going to try operating in september

my dear XemaSab... she just typed that with the left hand

[XemaSab]

41. hardcore

hardcore

Well maybe at last you can achieve your dream of swimming the Bering Strait. :hug:

[Oeditpus Rex]

60. Yeah, but I wasn't drunk

I was trying to jump the sucker over Blue_In_AK's house.

Didn't quite make it...

:evilfrown:

[XemaSab]

61. You weren't the captain who was passed out drunk

You were the cabin boy who took over the steering for him....

(just clarifying)

[Oeditpus Rex]

62. That's 'cabaña boy'

(Just clarifying some more.)

[XemaSab]

65. whatever....

all I know is, it was you.

:P

[Oeditpus Rex]

68. Yeah, but

"cabaña boy" looks better on my curriculum vitae. :evilgrin:

[xmas74]

83. That is a rather disgusting thought!

It is something my kid would try, if given half the chance. Good thing she's never had Frosted Flakes before!

[terrya]

15. Lies and falsehoods

1) bertha katzenengel? Hates cats. HATES them

2) Skinner secretly loves sex threads

3) StoptheMorans LOVES U2. A big, big fan.

4) arwalden is a very popular gay porn star with Falcon studios

5) whoisalhedges....very, very shy in real life.

[sundog]

32. oh that's right

arwalden is with titan

good un, terry... you almost had us there :thumbsup:

[XemaSab]

37. I'll believe that about Skinner

He has that prevert gleam in his eye.

[Hugin]

43. That is secretly why...

"those" kind of posts *cough* last *cough* so *cough* long *cough* here.

[EstimatedProphet]

16. Just 5? OK...

1)Asthmaticeog caused the explosion of Krakatoa
2)Johnnie eats razor blades as a hobby
3)Taverner is currently trapped inside a refrigerator
4)SouthlandShari is actually my sockpuppet
5)Dolo Amber invented the electric toothbrush

[KitchenWitch]

20. ...

1. CrazyGuggenheim supported Lyndon LaRouche in the last presidential election.
2. LydiaLeftcoast never leaves her house.
3. WCGreen looks like a young Tom Cruise.
4. LaraMN is actually a Hawaiian princess.
5. Mad As Hell New Yorker has a secret crush on Sandra Bullock.

[khashka]

22. I'll play

1. terrya is really Osama Bin Ladin - don't tell homeland security
2 flamingyouth is really Courtney Love
3. tjwmason is a Satanist
4. elshiva hates me and has no sense of humour
5. sorry, it really was a dingo - southlandshari the baby eating dingo! Please don't testify in court until you have all the facts. XNASA is innocent!!!!!!!


Khash.

[sundog]

45. you didn't tell a lie about me khash

:cry:

do you hate me too? :cry:

[khashka]

47. Oh yeah, right!

As Elizabeth Barrett Browning once said: "Let me count the lies"


This was very a bad strategy, sundoggle. I LIKE watching grown men cry..


Khash.

[Oeditpus Rex]

23. 1. KitchenWitch is 4'9" and has implants

2. LeftyMom eats Double Doubles at In-N-Out Burger.

3. RevCheesehead dreams of being the "entertainment" on Da Bears' bus.

4. ForrestGump is not a compulsive masturbator.

5. BuffyTheFundieSlayer does not want to have my love child.

[KitchenWitch]

26. ...

:wow:

[ForrestGump]

39. One of those is NOT a lie, you fiend

:grr:
























BuffyTheFundieSlayer wants to have my love child! :P

[RevCheesehead]

66. You're both wrong.

She wants MY love child. :P

[ForrestGump]

67. You church types and your

Immaculate Conceptions.. :eyes:

:P

[Shell Beau]

24. DS1 loves picture threads

Sugar Smack and no name no slogan are really the same person
Midlodemocrat is really a midlorepublican
texasgal is really rooting for USC :hide:
underpants ear really could pop!!

[KamaAina]

30. southlandshari detests Moon Pies

and will cross county lines to avoid them if necessary.

2. Rabrrrrrr (did I switch the third and fifth 'r's again?) once studied painting under the master himself, Thomas Kinkade.

3. That's right, ladies, ronnykmarshall is straight!

4. LynneSin came within one audition of qualifying for the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders.

5. KamaAina was offered the lead in "Brokeback Mountain" but foolishly held out for more money.

[LaraMN]

31. 1. Southlandshari kicks ass at mudwrestling.

2. Shell Beau is notorious for starting bar fights- and winning them.

3. KitchenWitch likes to run down short men with a bumper car.

4. WCGreen is stodgy and reserved.

5. billyskank never uses the "waving" smiley.

[Hugin]

40. Wait! Number 2 is a blatant TRUTH!

Shell is my benevolent protector... *batting eyes*

[Shell Beau]

44. Damn straight!

;)

[BlueJazz]

38. !. dolo amber is an extremely ugly person.

2. dolo amber voted for George Bush
3. dolo amber squashes little kittens
4. dolo amber hates DU
5. dolo amber is not going to kick my ass for calling her "An ugly person"

[dolo amber]

42. Hey!

I'm only *moderately* ugly. :P

And to be fair, 4 kinda varies from day to day. ;)

[BlueJazz]

56. Well..you said post "Lies"

(You're a Beeee-uuu-tiful Person)

:loveya:

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

72. Yeas and monkeys are gonna fly out my moderately!

:P

[LSK]

46. nobody lies about me?

Is that a good or bad thing? :shrug:

[Left Is Write]

49. I'll have you know...

there are no vicious lies about ME in this thread either!

[LostinVA]

89. Or me -- I'm not one of the popular kids...

[Left Is Write]

Itchy trigger finger!

dupe

[sundog]

50. left is write has an ak-47 arsenal in her basement

next to the fresh strawberry preserves cabinet

[Left Is Write]

48. 1. matcom is the love child of DS1 and Sniffa

2. ronnykmarshall is president of the Tom Cruise Fan Club
3. ForrestGump thinks Elvis Presley was way overrated
4. Rabrrrrrr enjoys listening to Britney Spears while eating cheese sandwiches made of Velveeta and Miracle Whip on Wonder Bread
5. primate1 collects Bratz dolls

[liberalhistorian]

70. BLECH!

"cheese sandwiches made of Velveeta and Miracle Whip on Wonder Bread?" EWWWW.........gee, thanks, that totally ruined my dinner so that now I don't have to worry about following my diet tonight!:evilgrin:

[Taverner]

51. 1 - Southlandshari doesn't even LIKE moon pies

2 - ForrestGump hates Elvis, and prefers Montovonni
3 - MrScorpio was the fifth Beatle
4 - ShellBeau dreams about me EVERY NIGHT
5 - The Magistrate is really a 17th century nobleman with a time machine

[ZombieNixon]

53. Here we go...

1. dolo amber eats babies
2. Matcom freed Willie Horton
3. sundog nailed Donna Rice
4. ForrestGump is really a woman
5. ZombieNixon is president of Peru, and he can't find a girlfriend (Oh, wait, that one's true) :cry:

[flvegan]

55. From what I understand the following are lies:

1. Bikewriter has a large colony of feral cats;
2. CaliforniaPeggy has a "FUCK" tattoo across her back;
3. primate1 loves pop-punk music (Good Charlotte, et al);
4. BigMcLargeHuge has NO sense of humor, nor ninja-esque skills;
5. Leftymom has never sent nude pics of her via e-mail.

[khashka]

77. I hate to tell you this flvegan....

But every single one of those things are true.

Sad, isn't it?

Khash.

[flvegan]

90. I'm crushed.

I could deal with 4 of them...but...but...primate1 digging Good Charlotte makes me want to cry.

[LeftyMom]

88. Ixnay on the uditynay

Or I'll tell everybody about your secret love of oiegrasfay! :evilgrin:

[SOteric]

57. Hedges is a teetotaler.

• matcom used to be michellecom until a trip to Denmark changed her physical anatomy.
  
• Will Pitt is a virgin.
  
• The Magistrate moonlights as a Chippendale's dancer.
  
• DS1 is ugly and foul-tempered and only spends his time with me in an effort to make my life miserable.
  

[liberalhistorian]

69. Errr....

how do we really know that #2 really and truly IS a lie? :evilgrin:

Sorry Will-couldn't resist the chance for payback since you STILL haven't returned my May 4 book a mere TWENTY months after you borrowed it!!!!!!!!!!!:evilgrin: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

[Cathyclysmic]

58. Well, let me tell you what I heard..

EstimatedProphet and Beware the Beast Man are twins that were separated at birth, and both have uncontrollable fits of rage daily.

Dolo Amber is decorating her entire house in pastels. Except the bathrooms...they will be hunter green and maroon.

Astmacticeog, I hope he doesn't see this...is a terrible cook.

[dolo amber]

64. You are so hurtful!!

:cry:

[EstimatedProphet]

75. And we look the same too

[liberalhistorian]

71. Ahem! I have this

all on very good authority.

The Empress of All CANNOT cook even to save her children's arteries and fat cells from junk/fast food and cheeseburger pizzas.
mike_c HATES bugs
EstimatedProphet has had over thirty prophecies come true, including the fact that CatWoman's cats are really dogs in disguise
Robb really IS a dingbat
ZombyWoof and CatWoman are secretly in love and planning an escape rendezvous, adopting Ruper Holmes's "Pina Colada Song" as their anthem.

[Zomby Woof]

74. Ugh

CatWoman is my sister. Please edit your post, for the sake of decency.

And it insults my wife-to-be, who considers Midori a wonderful person and friend.

[Robb]

100. I resemble that remark

:yoiks:

[NMMNG]

76. 1. Crazy Guggenheim *hates* popcorn

2. SeattleGirl is in fact a nun
3. Flvegan was seen eating a porterhouse steak last week
4. Heidi has a secret addiction to catnip
5. KitchenWitch is desperately afraid those nude photos she had taken years ago will surface



edit for spelling

[SeattleGirl]

81. Buffy, you weren't supposed to tell anyone!!!!!

:rofl:

[flvegan]

91. It was a SOY porterhouse! I swear!

It just, um, looked so realistic. Yeah...heh heh, that's it.

[NMMNG]

96. They make them with bones now?

:silly:

[Ladyhawk]

78. Strong Atheist really believes in Zoroaster.

AlienGirl was once abducted by Scientologists.
DemoTex shot J.R.
CaliforniaPeggy really lives in Montreal, Canada.
Lorien is Agent Mike.

[datasuspect]

79. khaska was the fourth gunman

progmom had ties with the FALN
joan alpern sold military secrets to china
crispini sells "stolexes" at the little rock arkansas greyhound station
i once ran into an unnamed member at a "cruisy" interstate rest stop.

[In_The_Wind]

97. I swear ...

[khashka]

101. Sure you did.

And that's why we must kill datasuspect. He can't go around spreading our secrets like this.

With your skills as a spy and mine as a hitman, we make an unbeatable combination. Poor guy! He doesn't stand a chance.


Khash.

[RetroLounge]

80. 5 blatant lies about 5 DUers

1) RevCheesehead is part owner of the Chicago Bears and is a Pagan Goddess who dances naked under the full moon. And she's the mayor of Oostburg, WI, too.

2) CaliforniaPeggy is really Patty Hearst and smokes crack with Paulie Shore (I have pictures). She wrote the script for his movie Son-In-Law.

3) threehensandacow works as the Conductor on Amtrak's train The Empire Builder that runs from Chicago to Seattle but has never actually yelled "All Aboard" to anyone outside the confines of her job. She looks good in the uniform too.

4) ZombyWoof absolutely hates coffee and prefers Soy Milk Martinis with a pickled onion and spends most of his downtime working as a fluffer in L.A.

5) SwimBoy is completed scared of the water and is currently locked up at home in my room. But he's okay because Sundog is also locked in the same room.

RL

[RevCheesehead]

82. You dummy.

They're supposed to be BLATANT lies, not believable ones!!! :spank:

[sundog]

85. ha!

if that was the case, a happy man i would be :D

[Zomby Woof]

86. #4 is correct

Except you left out the part where I wear bunny rabbit jammies. :evilgrin:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

87. RETROLOUNGE!

And to think that I TRUSTED you! *sob*

:cry:

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

84. Oh-tay

- ProfessorGAC agrees with Michael Douglas' assessment of the utility of golf fields in "Falling Down"
- Bertha katzenengel can't stand felines
- Arwalden is in an evangelical treatment center to get cured of his homosexuality
- CanuckAmock is still in love with his ex
- GirlInContempt is ugly as fuck

[NewJeffCT]

92. matcom is really gay

However, since he's in the closet, he keeps posting Kelly Brook pics to throw folks off the trail.

[NewJeffCT]

93. lionesspriyanka is not sexy at all

just your average wallflower.

[NewJeffCT]

94. we all live in fear of California Peggy

she's just so mean

[NewJeffCT]

95. Finnfan's girlfriend is ugly

for sure.

[AmandaRuth]

98. delete. I should really check whom I'm posting as!

[MiniMandaRuth]

99. 1. DS1 has whole rooms dedicated to Thomas Kinkade, and worships him.

2. ZombyWoof is really the love child of a wolf, gollum, and sundog.
3. RevCheesehead is a flaming mormon, but still manages to sneak out and go dune-bugging.
4. Matcom likes to visit cock-fighitng rings and bets often. When his bird doesn't win, he goes on a drug-induced rampage.
5. KitchenWitch once saw a badger and shot it. Then ran it over with her car. Then shot it again.