Should I send this e-mail?

[Deja Q]

It's to a guy I've not heard from in 2 days; prior to that he was quick in response and he's visited the personals site a couple of times since then:

Hello.

I hadn't heard back from you. If I scared you off, I won't ask why - but a shame you didn't want to get to know me better, and properly too. I didn't know left-wingers were prejudiced, but then we're only human.

Take care.

[bigwillq]

1. No.

Give him more then a few days to respond. Even though he responded quickly before, doesn't mean he will be as prompt this time.

That letter would turn me off if you sent it to me.

[CarpeDiebold]

2. No, don't...

Bigwill is right on the money. It'd be a turnoff and seem desperate to give up after 2 days. Give him some more time...

wow i just regurtitated bigwill's post... :hug: good luck man!

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

3. No. It's a bit too negative, not likely to elicit a good response.

Something friendly and fairly neutral, like, Hi, how are you doing? would be better. If you still don't hear back, you know to move on.

[redwitch]

4. Patience is a virtue.

A little more time would be a good idea. And then, I would refine it to say something along the lines of "Damn, you were intriguing, sorry we won't have the chance to explore a little further. If you change your mind..' kind of a thing. Keep it light and still get the message across. The letter you are considering burns bridges pretty neatly. Hope you hear from him!

[Deja Q]

5. Hmmm (also adding more context from the original msg)

I certainly understand all your responses to date and I've not yet sent out the e-mail...

It's only been 2 e-mails and it was on a left-wing dedicated site... and I'm so used to being burned in this manner that maybe I am too quick to judge (prejudiced, how ironic...)

I just dislike it when people disappear; especially when I've been upfront with them - they claim they want a relationship and then they disappear. How this makes THEM candidates for the types of relationships they claim is beyond me.

[redwitch]

7. Dating, as I recall, sucks.

Hang in there, there is a kindred spirit out there somewhere!

[Deja Q]

11. Let's hope so.

I'll refrain from self-pity.

And I'm about to get a physical check-up too. Things aren't right...

[Orangepeel]

6. what are you trying to accomplish?

it looks like you think he wrote you off. First, that might not be true. It's only been two days. But, even assuming it is true, what are you trying to do with an email?

do you want to show him that you didn't care that much anyway? if so, it would be more effective just to ignore him. do you hope that he'll think again and decide he wants to get to know you? if so, this negative email will accomplish the exact opposite.

on edit: are you trying to make him feel bad for ignoring you? if that's it, this won't work either. it will probably make him feel justified in having written you off.

[Redstone]

8. Good Lord, could you wallow in self-pity just a little bit more?

And then you wonder why romance eludes you?

I'm trying to be helpful here...

Redstone

[Deja Q]

9. I never realized my comments leading to the diseappearances were based ond

self-pity.

Is that what you're telling me?

I know when I am being self-pitiful. But responding to a person who claims to be one thing and then does something a person claiming to be that thing would never do sure as hell invites a response, point out their non-sequitur.

If I was into self-pity, I'd say "nobody loves me" or "nobody wants me". And you know I've said that too many times in other messages. :)

If you wanted to be helpful, I'd ask you to do something illegal against me. :P

[Redstone]

12. Read the text of your email again.

That's where the self-pity comes through. Just my opinion.

Redstone

[Deja Q]

14. I thought it was more arrogance than self-pity...

But I'll keep reading it. I'm sure I'll spot the self-pity aspect at some point. :)

[Rowdyboy]

10. No...Absolutely not....you belittle yourself and accuse him without.....

knowing all the facts. All you would accomplish would be to ensure you'd never hear from him again. Whats gained there? Let him stay quiet. You've lost nothing you had before. If you hear from him later, you can act pleasantly surprised, something like "I wondered what happened to you..."

Please don't send that-its self-defeating and you'll regret it when its too late to take back.

[Floogeldy]

13. I prefer the . . .

. . . "Let's get a couple of bottles of booze and meet at the motel" approach.

But then, I'm an ass.

;)

[Deja Q]

15. LOL

Except he was big on how relationships were so important and that sex was the least important aspect.

Maybe he misunderstood me.

Whatever. If it doesn't want to ask for clarification, he's not worth the time. He can't even meet his own standards, and communication and clarification are two highly significant things IN a relationship.

[Floogeldy]

16. You're deep . . .

and thoughtful. :)

[madinmaryland]

17. If its that important, then call him!

otherwise lighten up and wait for his response.

:evilgrin: