Confess your favorite crime

[struggle4progress]

[Faygo Kid]

1. Here's one: Smokin' some badass hash in Amsterdam, 1973.

Those were the days, my friend. We thought they'd never end.

[struggle4progress]

3. Hey! I think I remember part of 1973.

It might be the part when money got us through times of no dope not nearly so smooth as dope would have got us through times of no money ...

[Faygo Kid]

6. Whatever. Far out. Also, first turned on to Curtis Mayfield.

Fall 1973, drinkin' local brews, reel to reel just-out Superfly album. Pushin' dope for the man. Freddie's dead.

[khashka]

38. That's not a crime!

And besides, we all did that. The drugs, the porn, the prostitutes! Ah, memory!

I did get accosted at Newark airport after leaving Amsterdam.

"What drugs are you smuggling?"
For once I could honestly say "None" - we all used to smuggle drugs from Amsterdam.
"What porn are you carrying?"
"None you idiot! I live in SF. We make our own!"

It was a surreal moment.

Khash.

[EstimatedProphet]

44. Bizarre

I came back from Amsterdam, and was waved through customs. Not even a glance. Especially weird because I had a beard and a year's worth of hair in a ponytail. If anyone looked like a smuggler, it was me!

[Faygo Kid]

47. I almost got popped; also deported from Holland.

Kicked out of Holland for not having my return plane tickets to USA on me (left them with a friend in Berchtesgarden, Germany. Long story). Helped two Italian fugitives escape to Belgium; consoled French girl about loss of boyfriend; designated as referee by guards and passengers because I could speak none of their languages, and they couldn't speak English (lively!). Returned with tickets, picked up a nice chunk of hash and headed back (unlike today, I had much hair). Figured I fit a bad profile (no drug dealer here, just some stash for friends to share), so when I got on the train, I tucked the chunk into a matchbox and put it in the ashtray next to me. Sure enough, got strip searched by Dutch AND German guards (hope they enjoyed it), from anus to tubes on my backpack. Cleared, walked back to my seat on the train, picked up the hash and had a mighty fine time with that, good friends and a bottle of wine. Those were indeed the days; long gone, but I can't say I have regrets over a story like that.

[khashka]

48. That's a great story!

It would make a terrific short film.

Here's my druggie story:

My lover was making a big buy - several thousand dollars worth of crank. I was there because I was fronting him the money. So it's all like shady and weird.... and the dealer doesn't know me and he's trying to make conversation. He asks "what do you do for a living?" I gave him my best glare and said "I'm a DEA agent and you're under arrest." You should have seen the look on his face!

My lover was furious! "Do you know how close you came to getting us both killed?! God! I oughta kill you myself!"

I thought it was funny. So did the dealer after he got over the initial shock.

Khash.

[Faygo Kid]

49. As CCR said, You Are The Fortunate One.

I suspect I am of another g-g-g-Generation, but would love to hear some dates as to when this happened. And don't do that again, OK? We need all of us weirdos here. The adventures to come are too amazing. Would love to hear your age, and experiences. Lost so many dear friends to drugs; hope that didn't happen to you. Hint: My daughter is 29; brilliant and whacked.

[LeftyMom]

2. Something about public lewdness

I don't really remember the details, I was distracted. ;)

[struggle4progress]

9. My informal polling over the decades has suggested that IS popular --

though many, like yourself, are somewhat vague with the details ...

[The Sushi Bandit]

4. Getting arrested for streaking in front of the neighbors

at age 14. released for insufficient evedence... ;-)

[bridgit]

5. not on list, unsolicited cat burgling diamond/fine gem acquisitions...

B-)

[struggle4progress]

7. I'm guessin you didn't hang with the stick-up artists then: diffrent ..

.. folks has got diffrent tastes for felonie ...

[benburch]

8. Does pouring a bucket of blood on the Illinois Statehouse Steps count?

Just askin'.

[struggle4progress]

10. Absolutely A+. eom

[William Bloode]

11. Well it used to be a lot of violence.

Nowa days i groove on growing and breeding marijuana, and the occasional snort of cocaine.

[struggle4progress]

12. Milk-plus with the drogs at the Kordova Milk Bar?

[William Bloode]

13. Wow,

That does sound dangerous! :rofl:

[struggle4progress]

16. Ultraviolence

[kwassa]

14. Defenestration

[struggle4progress]

15. From which story?

[kwassa]

17. The story of my life?

As Steven Wright once observed, he knew he was a product of a Cesarean birth because every time he left his house, he went out the window.

And as Groucho once said, love walks out the door when money comes innuendo.

Or something like that.

[struggle4progress]

20. Defenestrated from the story of your life! What rotten luck!

[gizmo1979]

18. I'd tell ya but den I'd

hav to kill ya.Got it bub.

[struggle4progress]

19. Ya cain't be no worse that that dimwit mobster wannabe or those ..

.. guys what camed around after that lil misunderstandin bout state secrets and Iceland or that Bubba at county what stuck up all them "Wanted Dead or Alive" posters ...

[flvegan]

21. GTA (Grand Theft Animal)

Why?

Because, an abused animal is a recovered animal in waiting, AND, I look dead damn sexy in a balaclava and camo.

I have HUGE boltcutters, too.

Photo proof...check her out, cuz she's beautiful...

[struggle4progress]

22. Sometimes "liberation" ain't a euphemism.

[khashka]

23. Having sex in public

(Like none of you saw that one coming!)

When I was a teen I had sex with a 55 yearold woman in Union square.

I was underage so it was statutory rape.

If the cops had shown up I wonder what they would have charged us with - her for violating a minor? Me for violating a senior? Or would they have just said "Go for it, kid!"


Khash.

[LeftyMom]

26. Get your own crime.

:hi:

[khashka]

29. I thought she was such a nice girl....

but I can't commit a crime she didn't commit first.

International arms dealing! Absolutely true and no one can prove it.

Top that LeftyMom!


Khash.

[LeftyMom]

33. Arms?

Oh sorry, my mind wandered again.

[khashka]

35. Not those kind of arms!

Talk about raging hormones!


I was talking about weapons and software. So get your mind out of the gutter!


Khash.

[LeftyMom]

36. My mind never leaves the gutter

I had a storm drain installed in my brain pan, just to be on the safe side.

[khashka]

37. As Oscar Wilde said

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.


Khash.

[struggle4progress]

30. I thought you couldn't remember the details!

[LeftyMom]

31. On advice of my lawyer I plead the 5th. nt

[struggle4progress]

32. Yeah, I was wondering who took the fifth. Perhaps if there's any left ..

.. you could pass it back this way ...

[LeftyMom]

34. If there was any left, would I be this goofy?

Teh sad thing is I'm perfectly sober.

[XemaSab]

42. OMG!!!!

I just seriously made some totally off the wall snorting noises intermingled with the usual cackling!!!

Fuckin' A!

[graywarrior]

24. Starting a fight in a hell's angel bar and then sneaking out

[struggle4progress]

25. Nice! Could you pull the same stunt at the next RNC?

[graywarrior]

28. God, that would be sweet.

[OnionPatch]

27. Other

my tags are expired on my Jeep right now.

But it's not my fault!!! I sent for them two months ago and they never came!

[NMMNG]

39. Some friends and I "decorated" the front entrance to the high school

and the surrounding greenery one night. Nothing damaging, just TP and some undergarments. By the time we got to school the next morning the maintenance department had gotten most of it down, but several pieces that had been flung into some high tree branches stayed there for several days. :evilgrin:

[XemaSab]

40. Other:

Let's just say that what Fish and Game doesn't know about my skull collection won't hurt 'em...

[Fox Mulder]

41. I once got caught...

getting, well, orally pleasured in the library stacks by an ex girlfriend a few years back...

[XemaSab]

43. NO!!!!!

Alejandro????

Is that you??????

[Fox Mulder]

45. :O

:rofl:

Edit: I actually have a picture of myself in SmileyBoy's picture thread if you want to see it. :P

[njdemocrat106]

46. Trashin' a flat down in ol' Alabamy...

After all the phonecalls Poppy made to get me out of 'Nam, I decided I could better serve mah country over here than over there. Besides, I don't even have to show up fer duty, 'cause Poppy will cover fer me.