Why Are Some People Easier to Love?

[La Lioness Priyanka]

Hypno's thread made me ask this question...

everybody knows atleast one person who seems to be loved by a lot of other people (and i dont mean in the romantic sense only...)...like my grandmother...she has a huge number of people who love her and are devoted to her...


so what is it about such people that makes them just so easy to love?


pri

[flvegan]

1. It's my blue eyes, nice teeth and big arms.

But I see what you're saying.

I kid, of course.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

2. well i am sure that good looks helps

but my grandmother was never a good looking women

my mother on the other hand was simply stunning but by no means is loved as much as my grandmother

[dpbrown]

3. It's my rapier wit and intoxicatingly bare Buddha forehead

Me<----- :loveya:

[MiniMandaRuth]

4. A lot of people from school seem to love me,

because I'm fun loving, caring, funny, and easy to hang with. Apparently, a lot of my friends see me as a jocks girlfriend because of how I look and act.

But, most of my guy friends are jocks. Pretty cool.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

22. cute. glad you can recognize your own worth.

[kwassa]

5. People who give much love get much love.

One of the few things in the world that the more one gives it away, the more it comes back to them.

All of us need love, more than almost life itself. Love gives purpose. Love is about acceptence, not criticism or rejection. Those that love and accept will be cherished.

[rbnyc]

6. People who love themselves....

...people who love life, people who give love, real selfless love, attract real love.

Also, people who take responsibility for their own feelings and their own happiness bring out love in other people, because people feel safe to love them--they're not going to get ensnared in some ego game.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

8. thats a very thoughtful answer rbnyc

and i think you are right...


people who have a lot of love to give are easier to love

[rbnyc]

9. thanks

:loveya:

[SOteric]

7. I've known a few such people, and I think

that in general, the one's I've known were very positive, very giving people. One seemed to pay unusual attention to everyone he met and always had something kind and encouraging to say.

[LeftyMom]

10. Niceness is an underrated concept in our society

I lost my grandmother last year and the one thing people mentioned most at her memorial was how genuinely nice she was. She was always there for people with a little advice or a hug, she'd bring you back a little present if she went into town for a few days or carry a picture of your kids around in her wallet and tell perfect strangers stories about them with such enthusiasm they couldn't help but like them too.

The world needs more people who aren't afraid to be really really nice. It's a bit of a risk, because sometimes people take advantage or life goes badly and it hurts nice people more than the jaded bitter ones, but she lived a very long and mostly happy life so maybe she was onto something.

[SeattleGirl]

16. Your grandmother sounds like a wonderful person

She must have been a real blessing in your life, LeftyMom.

[LeftyMom]

19. She really was.

I miss her a great deal even though I know we were lucky to have her with us so long. She was almost 92.

[kwassa]

20. I would say caring and compassionate rather than nice

just to make a slight distinction. "Nice" can be extremely superficial, as it was in my family growing up. We were expected to be nice, but this was more of a duty than an act of compassion. Like insincere politeness.

[JanMichael]

11. Because they think about other people

and the consequences of their actions on everyone involved.

It's really not that hard to figure out, but some people never get it.

Stephanie

[sundog]

12. well endowed

:D

[LeftyMom]

13. Well I guess that could help

;)

[sundog]

17. just a bit

or more so to speak

:P

[JanMichael]

15. usually in the brain department.

Steph

[Left Is Write]

18. with a capacity to love.

[tjwmason]

44. It's more than just that which makes me love you.

But it certainly doesn't hurt. :D

[sundog]

45. i hope not

i'm gentle... really :D

[jpgray]

14. If you're not overly demanding and not self-obsessed

It helps.

[blue neen]

21. IMHO, there is a talent involved in being able to really listen.

The people who I find easiest to love are empathetic and compassionate, willing to help without being asked.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

23. true

[spacelady]

24. Charismatic Caring - Something about them + a sense of real caring.

I've met them & I'm not one of them, but I try (when it feels right). So I have a small circle of loving friends. What you are referring to is someone who has a very large group of friends without seeming to make much effort.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

25. nope not just friends...but people who love them too

[spacelady]

26. Oh yes, there is a distinction and some of the definitions before mine

describe that quality better than I did: #6 & 7 among others.

[Rabrrrrrr]

27. They are comfortable with who they are, and they are kind and accepting

of all people. People love them because they are loving people who love themselves (but not in an ego-centric Type-A business or sports asshole fuck kind of way).

It's something I strive to be, but often fall short... certain people really yank my crank, so to speak, and I have a hard time not giving that initial shudder when I encounter them, such as my completely unconsciously written paranthetical above.

[CanuckAmok]

28. Where's Paul Lynde when we need him?!

[spacelady]

29. I wish he had a square to spare!

[Ilsa]

30. Sometimes I think it is easier to love those who

always let you know where you stand with them. Trust comes first because of this, and love follows.

[swag]

31. Because their ass boils have receded for the winter.

[tigereye]

32. ah

way to keep things in perspective there.

[swag]

33. Certain rules of engagement have weathered decades.

[tigereye]

40. I keep picturing a wooden calendar

you are wise.... :)

that actually sounds like a Zen koan, Swag

[sundog]

34. that would have been my second choice

[swag]

37. and one could hardly expect anybody to abandon your first choice.

[fudge stripe cookays]

35. Being concerned about other people.

Not self-involved and narcissistic. Listening when they talk about things THEY are interested in. Asking them how they are and really meaning it.

Being truly concerned about others' welfare.

[caty]

36. If you want love, you have to give love.

Perhaps your grandmother is loved because she loves her family and friends and shows it.

[NNadir]

38. It's the love they give themselves; their willingness to see good;

their desire to help; to hear, to share your pain and let you share theirs.

My stepmother is just such a person. To know her is to love her. She is the most fabulous woman my dad could have married after my own mother's death. I love her very much and I will mourn deeply if she leaves this world.

[SeattleGirl]

39. Because the are loving people

Genuinely loving people, and others pick up on that. Think about the people you love, who seem easy to love. Why? They are very welcoming people (not meaning they are doormats or anything), and, one thing I've noticed, is that they bring out the best in US. What's not to love about that?

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

41. In order to have a friend, you have to be a friend

It's that simple

[NewJeffCT]

42. some people just have a special charisma about them...

It's hard to put into words, but I guess your grandmother had it.

I've known a few people like that over the years, too, but it's something you can't quite put your finger on. No one special quality. Just a combination of a lot of little things.

[Vektor]

43. It's "that certain something"...

I am a huge clown, and a pretty fearless person. I find this has really gotten me far in life. Sense of humor + boldness = works for me.

We've all got our gifts.

For some unique reason :-) I have loved John Kerry since I was a little kid, and he was Lt. Governor of my home state of MA. Some find him sort of stiff, formal, aloof, whatever, but even at that age, I *sensed* something about him that I just loved. Something that *worked for me*.

Finally, just last month, my dream came true, and I met him. Not only did I meet him, I hung out with him for a while. By a strange turn of events, I ended up at his birthday party. Knowing this was an opportunity of a lifetime, and a dream come true, when he walked into the room, I cast inhibitions aside, and wriggled my way past a crowd of several hundred, and went right up to him and said "Senator, Kerry, you are my hero. I have loved you since I was ten years old. This, by far, is the best night EVER, and though that may sound cliche and contrived, and you have probably heard that a million times, I assure, you, never have those words been spoken with more sincerity than I am speaking them right now."

Suffice it to say, he was pretty blown away, and we hit it off like old friends. There was a strange, odd familiarity that occurred instantaneously, and he and some of his staffers took me and all my friends (12 total) out for a beer (or four.) We sat in a pub and talked like old friends for a good portion of the night. We got along brilliantly and had a ton in common, it turns out.

I never imagined such a thing would ever happen to me, but I knew damn well when he was right here in front of me, I had better MAKE it happen, or I had no one to blame but myself. I think the reason I love Kerry is he's a risk taker - like me.

I think that worked for me, when I needed it to, as well.

I'm sure you have been battered with this image more times than you'd care to be:


I'd say that the one thing that makes people most lovable is "putting yourself out there" - saying "here I am, love me or your loss" - ya know, charisma...

:shrug:

Maybe?


Does this make sense?

[ET Awful]

46. It's my huge, gargantuan

sense of compassion :P

[rockymountaindem]

47. Be funny

That's the only advice I have. If people are laughing with you, that's all you need.

[kick-ass-bob]

48. If you treat people well, and they can tell that you mean it

then people are attracted to you.